by miss marigold
I've mentioned before that my mom envisions her future son-in-law as a modern-day incarnation of Boaz: generous, protective, capable of supporting his lady love, and most of all, a man of God. Growing up, I found her prayers (which were to me, more of fantasies) as largely irrelevant, as I considered myself several years away from "the marriage age." Then, after college motivated me to map out my ideal life, I did a little math and had a startling revelation:
- If I want to have 3 kids spaced 1.5 - 2 years apart, and I want to have the last one at age 33, that means I need to have my first kid by age 27.
- But I want to be married for 2 years before having my first child, which means I have to get married at age 25.
- But if I want to be engaged for a year prior to marriage (you know, for wedding planning, counseling, and all that), I have to get engaged by age 24.
- As a romantically-challenged, socially awkward neurotic, however, I'll probably want to be in a relationship for 2-3 years before getting engaged, which means I have to meet the man of my dreams by the time I'm 21 and a half.
This does not bode well for someone who turned 21 last November.
Unless Prince Charming falls out of the sky on my way out from work tonight or I stumble upon the Fountain of Youth, something's gotta give in that plan. After a very soap opera-worthy period of trial and error, I've realized how important it is that I do date Christian guys, whether we end up together in the end or not; the number of kids might change, the length of the engagement might change, hey, we might even elope barefoot in the woods, but not having a shared love for God is a total deal-breaker.
At the risk of sounding like a case for Dear Abby, I spend most of my Saturday nights watching E! True Hollywood Story
with a bowl of Special K. After hurtful experiences inspired me to swear off non-Christian boys, alcohol-induced encounters, and casual dating, I've realized that dating (or attempting to date) church boys is a whole new game. Keep in mind that my findings aren't totally conclusive, nor are they 100% consistent...these are just some general things I've seen.
Firstly, Christian boys like to "wait on the Lord," which is basically code for "take their sweet time." Boys, while I respect that you seek God's will by means of intensive prayer, do realize that by the time God gives an answer, I might not be interested anymore.
It's as if the Christian boys I've met are so preoccupied with being a godly
man that they forget to just be a man.
Christian guys I talk to complain that they're stereotyped as nice guys, and as the old adage goes, "nice guys finish last." News flash: Nice guys finish first. Wimpy, boring guys who don't make a move finish last. So take a gamble, guys, I think we're worth the risk.
Right now, I'm at an awkward place where I'm attempting to tow the line between Sex and the City
and I Kissed Dating Goodbye.
I mean, how does one transition from this: "Well, I think it's okay to date two or three girls at the same time as long as it's not official with any of them and they know it. You've gotta go for a test drive before you buy the car. And by go on a test drive, I mean have sex. A lot. And by buy the car, I mean commit to having sex with just that one person forever."
"God's telling me that I should court only that one special girl He's set apart for me to marry, so I think I need some time to pray about taking you out on a date. And by 'some time,' I mean a month. And by 'a date,' I mean that we go bowling with my mom and ten other people."
So come on, Christian boys and girls. Has anyone else ever transitioned from dating non-Christians to dating Christians? or even...vice versa?
And does "waiting on the Lord" always translate into being passive?
Next time: Pt II: Why My Mom Was Right About Boaz