Monday, 14 July 2008
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Cursing: Where should Christians draw the line?
by mr. oak
Wanted to followup on a post from before - I think Mr. Pine did a great job at talking about cursing by saying "It's not prohibitive. It's proactive. What it's saying is that you should be so busy blessing people with your words (and the Good News) that there's no room for the other stuff."I can't agree with this more - but at the same time, I have no idea how to actually do this. Since college, I've been working at cleaning up my language mostly because I was really challenged by a few verses I've read in the Bible. But while I don't partake in the usual 4 letter bad words like the F-bomb, the S Word (otherwise known as swords for 1000), Golf, and other delightful expressions...but then there are the gray words where I'm not really all too sure...
Like darn, dang, crap, etc....I say these things without thinking and it has never crossed my mind that they were bad...until....
I once emcee'ed a Christian conference. There were about 1,200 people at this conference and one of the announcements I had to make was to advise everyone not to hang out in the hallways in their respective hotels. So I got up there and blurted "Please keep your noise levels down when you're outside of your hotel rooms - we don't want to piss off anyone while we're here!"
I heard some collective gasps. Since when was "piss off" a bad word?? But apparently it was, and I was rebuked by a staff member to be careful... but couldn't help but to feel like there was no way I could've known. Nevertheless, I learned from this and am wary of saying it (granted I just did - doh!)
I don't want this to be legalistic - and my basic metric is that it's up to me in the end. All things are permissible but not all things are beneficial. I try to never use such words towards people - I think that's the worst way to use them. On the other hand, I even hesitate to write things like "wtf" on my posts - moreover when I accidently bang my toe, I pause to think about what to say in exclamation (currently, it's burgerfrickle.....don't ask.)
How about you - if you watch your language, where do you draw your line?
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Comments (71)
@OsuwarInuyasha@xanga - YOU deserve the biggest points here, and no other commenter
Thank you!
I try not to use any words that would make me gasp if I heard them coming from my 3 year old's mouth.
My parents swear all too often, which is exactly why I refuse to.
To me, swearing is more than just saying some random word. It gives people a glimpse of who you really are after the Sunday morning church facade is over.
Also, I think it's an unintelligent waste of words. Is is so hard to use something else...?
The closest I get to 'cursing' is crud, darn, gosh or snap. I also make up my own words. Like 'oh my cows' instead of the obvious alternative.
Your quote from Mr. Pine seems to assume that all Christians should say nice things all the time. I believe this misses an important aspect of Christian life that demands that, sometimes, we have to say mean shit. Sometimes we have to say mean shit in service to the Kingdom, especially to the religious.
If we look at the Scriptures, the apostles didn't say nice things all the time (they actually say a lot of mean and blunt things). It's not even how Jesus acted! Jesus called the Pharisees a "brood of vipers" which is roughly equivalent, in our culture, to calling someone a "son of a bitch". Both are common insults in their respective cultures that were considered very rude.
Again, we have in Phillippians the word "skubula" used by Paul to describe the worth of his previous Pharasaical practices. Based on my study of the word, I would translate the word as "bullshit." This word study seems to place the naughtiness of the word somewhere between "crap" and "shit". Regardless of one's translation, it seems hermeneutically necessary that one acknowledges that Paul used a cuss word. And not just in daily life, in his epistle to a church.
Basically, in answer to the question posed by the title of this post, Christians should cuss. Paul did it, Augustine did it, Luther did it, Lewis did it, and that's how I'm gonna do it! Haha.
If you look at our faith's history, I believe it is relatively apparent that Evangelical Christianity's aversion to cussing is an effect of the Holiness Movement/Fundamentalist Movement which sought to set Christians apart from "the world". While I don't doubt their noblel intentions, we have taken it to the point that we refuse to eat with sinners (or, rather, speak their vernacular) and could use a few Pauls to pull our Peters aside, look 'em in the eyes, and ask them, "WTF?"
Words aren't just words .... when you're a Christian. Prov 18:21 says that "death and life are in the power of the tongue." God will guide you and convict you when you're on the wrong path, with anything you're dealing with. I can't personally tell you "Don't say this word, don't say that!"
Romans 14:21 says "It is good neither to eat meat nor drink wine nor do anything by which your brother may stumbles or is offended or is made weak." so I would keep that in mind when you're around people whom might be offended by your language or actions (I'm attending my cousin's wedding in Aug. and though I drink on occasions, won't @ the wedding, because I don't want that to be a stumbling block in my fam's salvation!)
There's also a passage Paul wrote in the Bible about "being all things to all people." If you could find it, I'm sure it would shed some more light on the issue!
Be blessed!!!
~
"Good christians" don't swear...but is there really such a thing as a "good Christian" since all the work was done by Christ and we're now found in Him? and what's the difference between a "good" and a "bad" Christian? Does God approve of one more than the other? Does one get "more treasure" in the next world for saying fewer curse words? Is one more of a son of the Father than the other? Is one more loved than the other? How many times has it been said that the Body of Christ is the only army that kills its own wounded?
What's more important the words you say or the heart that the expression comes from? I was convicted today because I was almost side swiped on a couple of different occasions and exclaimed WTF!! The Lord clearly told me that my life is in His hands regardless of what happens, even if it means going to the ER should it even matter? I could change the expression of my lips but the heart's expressive lack of trust in His wisdom and grace in wanting control over myself and my environment would still predominate.
Ever read "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller? One of my favorite parts is where he's talking about his friend the cussing pastor, who apparently, no one had told that Christians weren't supposed to cuss. Most Christians would be appalled but there's gotta be a church somewhere that has the most cussing in it...I think mine might be one of them.
Let us not get caught up in externals, do's and dont's. Let us look at the heart. So often we try to manage sin as if it's some kind of credit system or a way to rank at how good we are at being Christians by what we do and don't do. That stuff has nothing to do with love though. A wise mentor and spiritual leader of mine once said that the more free we are to sin the more free we are to run into His lap.
Two things I would like to bring to thought:
1: would you use the same language with permissive friends as you would with Christ? If Christ were in the room, would you use language that some of your peers or friends might allow without a second thought? If not, why not? Is this not a hypocritical practice?2: If you allow foul language to enter your life(including thinking in foul language (Proverbs 23:7)), how are you setting yourself apart from the world (Romans 12:2)? How are you letting your light shine (Matthew 5:16)? For these reasons, and many others, I do not use any foul language, even much of what has been discussed. I am not comfortable in situations that involve others using foul speech. When in situations as such, I either leave, or ask those using language like that to please refrain, as least in my presence. I choose to keep my thoughts and heart as pure as possible. (Philippians 4:8)I don't do a good job of watching my mouth...I try not to cuss around people I think would be offended by it...but when I get angry...sigh.
The interesting thing is in the workplace, when we're comparing the old product and the new product. Boss: "The question is: is it f***ed up in the old product too?" Me: "If not, we f***ed it up somewhere between the and now."
@jbls: That's... not what "not conforming to the patterns of the world" in Romans 12 means, but I can understand the mistake. I wrote an exegetical paper on the first two verses of that chapter that can be found here: http://www.xanga.com/goken04/446914772/item.html. P.S. Don't reference Philippians when you're disputing cussing, that's where Paul cusses. :)
@Goken - what do you mean about Paul cussing in Philippians?
@jbls_11@xanga - Paul says, "bullshit". Most Bible translations nice-it-down to "dung" or "rubbish". But that's what the greek word means. I covered it in my first comment to the original post and included a handy link to a word study. True story.
i don't wanna follow in the way of our culture... so any word that our culture defines as swearing... like found in most R-rated movies... the F-bomb, the s-word, and even go so far as the D, He double hockey sticks, and other such...
euphamisms also are words i'm trying to keep at a low...
if anything... i would retort with vicious rhetoric minus the swearing...
I struggle with the F word when I bang my head hard or stub my toe. And it makes me aware of the scripture...
But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man `unclean'. (Mt 15:18).
and I don't like the idea that ...that filthy word is coming from my heart.
And the famous WWJD- you can change WWJS (say). That can guide us also.
Christina
Intention is the key. I think that cursing is okay only when the intent is not to harm.
A friend of mine put it this way--remember that you never know when your time to go is. What do you want your last words to be?
There are many biblical references to swearing and overall all the words from our mouths. In my opinion, based on biblical study, we should be aware of every word that leaves our mouths, for out of our hearts our mouths speak. If we are to control every thought, every action, why not also every word??? The bible has much to say about the evil of our tongues and the hurt it can cause. Personally, I feel society has lowered even Christian's expectations for the purity of our words which reflect the purity of our thoughts. When I hear people say, "Well but in today's world it's alright" it makes me wonder what other biblical teachings they would find "unacceptable" because of how the 'world' views them. Abortion? Homosexuality?
Then of course we could ask the question, "What would Jesus do?" That should after all truly be our guide as Christians don't you think? Do you suppose Jesus was heard to utter the word "Piss"? Something to think about.....
Matthew 12:34-36: "O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment."
Psalm 19:14: "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer."
A link those of interest might want to read is: http://206.135.15.32/answers/aswear.html
words are just sounds that we give a meaning to. i use every word but the 'gd' word. that's only because i don't like to use it. i don't draw any lines in the 'cuss words'.
i do know when to watch what i say but i still cuss like a sailor.
@Heart of Pandora - thank you, you saved me a paragraph.
When Paul said "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth," he was referring to the meanings behind the sets of phonemes, not the sets of phonemes themselves. Or put another way, it's the meaning and context that make a word bad, not the word per se. Otherwise, Paul probably would have chosen a different word when he wrote "More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing
value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ...." The word translated there as "rubbish" was the Greek slang word for defecation. So a more accurate translation would be "...and think it's all s*** so that i may gain Christ." But really, though, who would want to see "the S word" in the Bible?
EDIT: I guess i should read all the comments before i add one of my own.... Goken did a much better job of saying what i did.
I completely agree with that quote up there. It's not necessarily the fact that all of our words are so destructive, although they can be. But most of the time people won't take offense if you shout the S word in the middle of the hallway. It's more about the fact that we are representatives of Christ, and therefore should not only refrain from cussing because it can be destructive, but should be busy using our mouths to help and bless people. I'll admit that I really need to apply this to my own life as well. This is a great post. Thank you for your site, it is really encouraging.
It's all about the situation, really. I'll draw the line at swearing with references to God, Jesus or Mary; and racist terms are a no-no to me, because they have no other meaning other than being racist.
To me, the other swear words aren't much more than words. They have alternate meanings which aren't so bad, so nyeh.
I try to rarely ever curse. I do freely use 'crap' & 'stupid' though. I think the only 2 other curse words I use [and VERY sparingly] are piss and douche. Anything other than that I think is just vulgar.
@ChildofGod86@xanga - of all, your comment puts it all in the nutshell. excellent answer to the question. There are many references in the Bible to the tongue... and being judged for every word.... thanks
I actually am in somewhat agreement with HeartOfPandora. I had that discussion with my brother a couple of years back. I think about words all the time - what they are, what they mean, what they mean to us, ect. I asked my brother "Words are just mixed up letters, the s-word has the same letters as 'hits', so why is it bad?"
He replied immediatly "It's not the actual words, it's what they represent. Every time you hear the F-word, what image pops into your mind?"
People have hidden the actual meanings of the words better than the words themselves, so that for the first twelve or so times you hear the word, you don't know what it means. That's when they start to become questionable.
Still, it is what they represent that makes them bad. I could change the meaning of any word, and start using it in that way, but it doesn't change the way other people view it.
I think we should be wary of what we say. And it goes back to the whole Christians-don't-conform point. If the world is doing it, there's a big chance you're not supposed to.