Friday, 11 July 2008
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Christian Album Covers: The Hall of Shame
by mr willowAs long as we’re on the subject of music, I think it’s time to inflict this on the public.
After some merrily irreverent folks posted a collection of their picks for the ten worst Christian albums of all time, I just had to go and look on Google to see what else was out there. Turns out there are whole websites that are dedicated to collecting these spiritual treasures of a fortunately bygone era. They swear up and down that they're all real, authentic, and un-Photoshopped. I believe it. You couldn't make this stuff up.
I couldn’t resist choosing my own picks for the Top 15 (in no particular order), with some inspirational reflections:
You sure? 'Cause he looks kind of like a cardboard cutout to me (on the plus side, they look very happy to be in hell.)
One of these things just doesn’t belong.
I defy you to speak this album title without laughing out loud. Actually, I defy you to say it without collapsing out of your chair and rolling around on the floor gasping for air and screaming in hysterics.
Interestingly, the first debate about “worship style” can be dated to the Sunday after this record was released.
I'm dying to hear this one (sorry, somebody had to say it.)
"First confession: I'm really a middle-aged man. Second....hey, where'd everybody go?"
"....I would probably look like this. So thank you, God."
It's not that I don't like your boyfriend, Bev; it's just that I think he has, you know, kind of a wooden personality.
Good news: We're going to live forever! Bad news: Our hair is going to look like giant metal macaroni.
The witness, identified only as "Mr J.," spoke on the condition of anonymity.
Nah, I never really got into that electric folk-rock stuff. I prefer Brahms' style, myself.
Aaaaaaay-men! Wait, what? What?!?
Next time someone tells you that we need to make a Christian version of a popular trend, you'll remember this, won't you?
They’re playing toy pianos? I thought that was in Purgatory.
“Timmy, if you don’t start behaving, I’ll make you listen to that record again!”
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Comments (54)
LOL
I can barely type this comment. I'm still laughing too hard!! That was AWESOME!!
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!
They are all funny, but the statement "I eat kids" coupled with the photo takes the cake.
hahahha, this is hilarious...my favorite would be "I eat kids"...I mean, seriously...
I eat Kids
what a lol
LOL!!!!!!! Too Much!! What wre these people thinking!?!?:)
This post is one of the few times that "LULZ" is an appropriate response...
This totally made my day. And I got a pretty good ab workout out of it too!
Hilarious!
Washington Phillips is actually a really serious gospel blues singer. The illustration is just kinda based on the mystery of what instrument he really played; there's actually a good bit of discussion as to whether he played a zither as we know it or some sort of custom instrument.
That's it! I'm recommending this entry. I especially love the "i eat kids" one. Nice.
Wait. Pass_the_Aura did this entry? Wow... he stopped by my blog a long time ago.
That is some amazing stuff right thar.
*shakes head...laugh*
amazing!
Haha!! Well that was a hoot to read. Particularly love the Christian Aerobics one. Is there any difference between Christian aerobics and normal aerobics, is there more spandex involved in Christian aerobics.
That Baker chick sounds interesting
Just brilliant!
Bring on volume 2!
i emailed this to my mom!
I Eat Kids is a great album, but certainly not Christian. Barry Louis Polisar is a children's singer. I had the album and it's great!
Lol! XD
LOL - how long did it take you to research this? It was great! My husband and I laughed our heads off.
Rez band!
Oh my goodness! haha!! My dad used to listen to the Resurrection Band!
wow.
I'm actually speechless.