Friday, 11 July 2008
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Christian Album Covers: The Hall of Shame
by mr willowAs long as we’re on the subject of music, I think it’s time to inflict this on the public.
After some merrily irreverent folks posted a collection of their picks for the ten worst Christian albums of all time, I just had to go and look on Google to see what else was out there. Turns out there are whole websites that are dedicated to collecting these spiritual treasures of a fortunately bygone era. They swear up and down that they're all real, authentic, and un-Photoshopped. I believe it. You couldn't make this stuff up.
I couldn’t resist choosing my own picks for the Top 15 (in no particular order), with some inspirational reflections:
You sure? 'Cause he looks kind of like a cardboard cutout to me (on the plus side, they look very happy to be in hell.)
One of these things just doesn’t belong.
I defy you to speak this album title without laughing out loud. Actually, I defy you to say it without collapsing out of your chair and rolling around on the floor gasping for air and screaming in hysterics.
Interestingly, the first debate about “worship style” can be dated to the Sunday after this record was released.
I'm dying to hear this one (sorry, somebody had to say it.)
"First confession: I'm really a middle-aged man. Second....hey, where'd everybody go?"
"....I would probably look like this. So thank you, God."
It's not that I don't like your boyfriend, Bev; it's just that I think he has, you know, kind of a wooden personality.
Good news: We're going to live forever! Bad news: Our hair is going to look like giant metal macaroni.
The witness, identified only as "Mr J.," spoke on the condition of anonymity.
Nah, I never really got into that electric folk-rock stuff. I prefer Brahms' style, myself.
Aaaaaaay-men! Wait, what? What?!?
Next time someone tells you that we need to make a Christian version of a popular trend, you'll remember this, won't you?
They’re playing toy pianos? I thought that was in Purgatory.
“Timmy, if you don’t start behaving, I’ll make you listen to that record again!”
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Comments (54)
This is so wonderful...and horrible that I hardly know what to say. My parents are from this era, and you should see some of the album covers in our garage.
Funny Stuff! Thanks for the laugh!
I think my favorite is the "Praise-R-cize"
this is great
These are worse than "All My Friends Are Dead"! Anyone else know what album I'm talking about?
LOL ...
*getting off the ground*
Washington Phillips gives me the impression of Schroeder from Charlie Brown at that little piano. And I think Dr. James Wade is Eddie Murphy in makeup... maybe one of the deleted scenes from The Nutty Professor.
Bravo on this post. Bravisimo!
Laughed out loud sitting alone at my computer. It's that funny. Also: "Praise-R-Size"-- someone deserves a kick in the teeth (all in Christian love, of course) :)
@sheepthatsblack@xanga - I dunno; "I Eat Kids" is pretty classic.
i eat kids reminds me of something from troma.
beyond hilarious...! i am still laughing. :)
"God is a Killer"?! *shudders* wonder what that has to say o_o
Bahahaha.
I've not seen a single one of those covers in my life before this! Thank you!
There are other lists of "worst" kind. . . But, I'm not tellin'!!! Someone I know and love is on that site!!! Shameful trophy!
O___O
"I Eat Kids"?
Weird.
i would definitely behave if my parents played me a song called "i eat kids" you know, after i pass out from laughing so hard. i don't know if i would be more frightened of them, or if i would just feel bad for them, knowing that they would try something that horrendous.
i don't even know what to say.... i - i - i am speechless... made me laugh out loud!
As much as I absolutely LOVE Five Iron Frenzy, I thought
http://img.epinions.com/images/opti/75/9f/481528-music-resized200.jpg
kind of sent the wrong message.
Also, Relient K's latest, seen at http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/B001AS6WBC/ref=dp_image_0?ie=UTF8&n=5174&s=music was also a bit of an unfortunate pun.
The album art's not terrible, but I'm not sure how funny pseudo-sacrilege can be.
That Louvin Brothers album is really good ,they are some of the best that Bluegrass has to offer.
Not all of them where bad....LOL!
lol wow
my two favorites, personally are "I eat kids" and "The whole church should get drunk"
seeing as how those two things are two of my favorite things to joke about.
...Christians.
@OumaB@xanga - I think I found the one you mean ;) They have no idea how many kids loved that album, though!
"I Eat Kids"? Seriously? ROFL! Oddly enough the Ressurection Band cover looks like something The Fifth Dimension or Abba would have put on their LPs.
oh my lands! I am falling off of my chair over here! That last one just takes the cake. *wiping tears*
I eat kids?? I honestly do not have a comeback for that.
awesome post.
-k