by
revelife crew 
On
mrs violet's post,
Let's Talk About Sex, Baby, GodlessLiberal commented with this question:
Lately, I've been noticing that many of my Christian friends who are adamant
about the whole "no sex before marriage" aspect of their faith seem to be
rushing into marriage. Now, I haven't had the courage to ask them, but do you
think that the anticipation of sex could be a deciding factor in getting married
and/or moving up the wedding date?
So, is the desire to consummate their relationship a legitimate reason for a Christian couple get married early/have a short engagement?
For the singletons: do you ever feel pressure from the Christian community to get married (if not early, then ever.) If so, do you think this pressure based more on social/spiritual factors, or is there an aspect of it that involves purity?
Comments (56)
I think short engagements is smart. especially if its your desire to not have sex before marriage, it is very hard, almost impossible to not fall into temptation with someone you love. I've always suspected couples who have year long engagements aren't really saving themselves, because I cannot fathom having that much self-control. paul also said "it is better to marry than burn.". the bible doesn't give a lot of relationships advice and that is one of the few, so i think its wise to listen.
My husband and I got married when we were both 19. I can honestly say, getting to have sex had nothing to do with our decision to marry young OR our 5 month engagement. And not having sex before marriage was important to me then. Not so much to him, but we were both virgins on our wedding night anyway - technically. He proposed to me on the day we had been dating for 2 years and we got married 5 months later. The honest truth was, he waited a year longer to propose than he really needed to, and by 2 years I was wondering if he was EVER going to propose, and so was everyone else. It was because we were just meant for one another and we knew it and so did everyone else. It wasn't easy at all to wait until our wedding night to have sex. That's why I said we were "technically" virgins, if you get my drift... unfortunately. I don't know if that had anything to do with sex not really being a factor in getting married or the short engagement. I do know the main reason was there didn't seem to be any real point in waiting to get married, and we wanted to be married before the whole Y2K thing happened (don't ask.. lol!) So we did, and though we've been through a LOT since then (it was almost 9 years ago) we've never doubted that marrying one another was the right decision :)
I am not too sure about wanting "sex" will move up the wedding date. However, I WOULD SAY TO ALL WHO ARE MAYBE GOING TO GET MARRIED, MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE ON THE SAME TRACK WITH YOUR INTENTED. There are four areas that need to be looked at. 1. Your belief in God through Jesus Christ must be gounded in the same "bowl of faith." 2. MAKE SURE YOU ARE BOTH ON THE SAME TRACK WHEN IT COMES TO SEXUAL INTIMACY. I have been married for over 29 years, and I wish I would have considered it before I got married. Though my wife is great and wonderful, the sexual part of marriage is extremely important. 3. Politics. You must have similar values. 4. Money. If you can't agree with your spouse at least 85% of where your money goes, then you better find out now and discuss it.
I don't know how it is with other religions, but LDS members in Utah are usually under a lot of pressure to get married once the men have served missions (when they get back, they're usually 21 years old). We do teach that continuing education is very important, but couples rarely get finished with their associates' degrees before they get married. I don't know if it's because of the intimacy factor, but I definitely looked forward to that when I got engaged, and our engagement was pretty short. He proposed over Thanksgiving break in 2005, we were married in February of 2006, and we had even been talking about marriage since August of 2005. Things moved pretty quickly in our courtship romantically because before we were together, we had been friends and already knew everything about each other. I don't know if intimacy was the deciding factor for us, but it was definitely one of them. We're still very happy, but we do wish that we had waited a little longer to mature more. Great question!
...In what verse does god say you can't have sex before marriage?
Good read, thx for posting
gaming