Wednesday, 09 July 2008
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Learning To Grow While Forgetting To Feel
from adventure_coach
This past weekend, I attended my first wedding for the summer. It was really sweet and very small and intimate. During the ceremony, the preacher, in a robotic tone of voice, read out his dissertation on love.Now, I understand that love is so much more than an emotion, and that to trust only one's emotions is just asking for trouble, but this guy was talking about how love is a commitment to grow. Yeah, that's true, but it's important not to neglect our hearts in the process of that commitment. The emotions are there for a reason, and while they change based on circumstances, neglect, nourishment, and protection...it just seems that to divorce love from romance and emotions and to just focus on staying together and growing is missing the boat altogether.
A lot of times, the evangelical community is overemphasizes growth. We always ask questions like, "So what's God doing in your life?" and if you talk about how God's growing you, then you're cool. Do real people in the world ever come up to each other and say, "Hey how are you growing today?" Maybe I'm jaded, but I just don't think that relationship-minded people really go around talking about how they are growing.
Growth is definitely part of the Christian walk, no doubt. I had this thought a couple of months ago, that oftentimes, in prayer, we go to God and just create a giant to-do list for things that He needs to fix in us, in others, or in the world. It's like when we do that we're giving so much attention to "fixing" or "growth" that we don't have time for relationship. Here's a crazy idea: what if in our prayers we had so much time being given to relationship that we didn't have time to talk to God about how we need to grow? What if God's idea of growth looked like growing closer in relationship rather than us growing better in righteousness? What if out of relationally connecting with God, we could pray His prayers for the things that He wants to work on in us so that we can better relate to Him? I really don't know if God is all that concerned about our righteousness.
Ever thought that God has emotions? In fact, I'd say He's more emotional (not meaning that He makes decisions based on emotions) than any other being ever. I wonder what pursuing a relationship is like for Him.
Do you ever neglect your emotions and growing closer to God when trying to grow as a Christian?
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Comments (11)
I believe the entire point of Christian growth is to become closer to God. If we give our hearts more and more, our actions and other things will follow. I love the book The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence because he talks about this. He was a monk, but he basically quit worrying about all of the set schedules and special prayers that the church had. He simply spent every day in loving, tender communication with God.
Sometimes when I am praying about issues that I feel like need to be fixed, it's like God whispers, "Come and love me and let me love you." When I do, I find that the other issues get better. Or maybe they weren't as important to Him as I thought they were.
I believe God cares vitally about our righteousness. We are called to be perfect as He is. Jesus said, "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (Matthew 5:48) The way we become like Him is by abandoning ourselves to our love relationship with Him. We don't get righteous by trying harder. We can't do it on our own at all. We have to die to ourselves and let Him live in us. In that sense, He doesn't care about OUR righteousness. What He wants is for His righteousness to live through us. The closer we are in relationship, the more likely that is to happen.
I think it can be the hardest thing in the world to trust God enough to let go of worrying about my own progress and just let Him love me. If I am thinking about accomplishing in my Christian life, then I am keeping some control on the relationship. If, on the other hand, I surrender to the love relationship, God is the One in control.
2 Peter 3:18 tells us to grow-not in accomplishment, performance, or personal awesomeness, but "in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." Those things come when we are next to Him in joyful relationship, enjoying His presence and hearing His voice through His Word and prayer.
Great post. Thanks.
John Piper said that "True worship must include inward feelings that reflect the worth of God's glory." (from his book Desiring God... a must read and a repeated read at that for any Christian desiring to pursue pleasure in God)
worship is marked with feeling... you should feel... as you worship... overwhelmed with reverance or love for Jesus...
growth with God takes emotion as well... God instilled us with it... especially when you love God... it should be accompanied by emotion...
I understand your point completely and I agree. I think Christianity has done much harm by emphasizing righteousness over relationship, not understanding that the righteousness will come out of a healthy and intimate relationship with God. Righteousness is important but we will never attain it out of sheer willpower or following rules or regulations...we are sinful to the core. I think that's why people hate Christianity, calling it a religion of a "bunch of rules and regulations". Even now it's common that once you accept Christ, the church throws a bunch of stuff on you and equates being a good Christian with being in certain classes or ministries.
I also feel the same pressure of "what's God doing in your life" question. You feel like you have to give this glorious or overwrought answer. While I think that I am always learning something from God, I now prefer to say that God and I are working things out. I really don't care to embellish anything anymore. I'm too old for that nonsense.
Pickwick, great post!
I think it's vital to cultivate a relationship with God, but all relationships change with time and we either "grow" with them or they wither and die. Maybe my church is behind the times, but nobody ever asks me what God is doing in my life or how I am growing with God. I consider that something personal in my relationship with God (kinda like how I don't discuss my marital relationship with people either) and I don't feel it's anyone else's business how God and I are doing.
I think it's important to pray for God's will to be done, rather than ours, then pray for the strength and understanding to accept His answer. I discovered that when I changed my prayers from "this is what I want, now please give it to me" to "You know what's in my heart, so I'm not going to ask. Just let Thy will be done" I started receiving more blessings and inner peace, and a closer relationship with Him.
@dcotton87@xanga - Thank you, and what you are saying is very true. I think God loves trust. He seems to respond very positively when I sincerely pray for His will in my life. When I started praying that, I thought it would bring me hurt and pain. I was so mistaken! Instead, it brought me comfort and love.
I don't know how technical the sermon got, but it sounds like the pastor did a poor job of explaining an important fact. The greek word "Agape" which many people think means unconditional love actually goes a little farther than that. It's a chosen love. It's the reason a command like "Love your enemy" can be given. Agape is choosing to act towards someone as though we love them, even if we are not experiencing that emotion. It is definitely to emotionally connect with your spouse. Agape should be the first step on "the love pyramid," followed by phileo(brotherly love), Storge(familial love or exceptional friendship) and then Eros (romantic/erotic love). The mistake many people make, and one of the reasons for the divorce rate, is taking Lust as a sign of Eros, and building their relationship from their. These people often never make a choice to love their partner, and base it off emotion. When that emotion gradually fades, no more marriage.
Yeah, I really agree that it's good to have a relational feeling/love with God. But it's not necessary. Just because we have a warm feeling of love toward God does not mean that we are really loving Him. Jesus says that if you love Him, you will obey Him. Loving God=righteous living. (Righteous living=loving others sacrificially.) If we feel like we love Jesus, but we don't obey what He says, then we aren't really loving Him. I think that we need to force our emotions to line up with God's Word instead of waiting for the warm fuzzy feelings to come first.
Well... I never really try to grow as a Christian. It's more of a realization that growth has already occurred after a really difficult journey; sort of like realizing your biceps have doubled in size after bucking a couple truckloads of hay...
I definitely tend to get caught up in growing instead of loving. It seems like almost every prayer of mine has been about asking God to help me be better. Thanks for this post :) It's reminded me that God wants my love as well as righteousness.
you've given me something to think about. thank you