Monday, 07 July 2008
-
Soulmates: God's Plan, or One of Many Options?
Almost everytime I'm with a new group of friends, someone brings up this question to break the ice: "So, do you think there's only one person for you, or do you think there's a lot of people you could be happy with?"And every time they ask that question, I answer, "I think there's a lot of people I could potentially marry and live happily-ever-after with, but God only leads me to one of them (two if the first guy dies on me, and then I remarry)...or maybe He just orchestrates it so I don't meet any of the 10 guys I could potentially be with, so instead, I become a bird lady."
"Neurotic," the other party says, to which I reply -
"Sap."
My mom, ever the romantic even after more than two decades of marriage, begged to differ. "I know that God has a really good guy in mind for you," she says whenever I visit home, still unquestionably single. She's even given him a name - Boaz - after Ruth's husband.
Now that I'm one year away from graduating, I wonder a lot about what God has in store for my future, and whether He has only one future planned or several alternatives. Is there really only ONE job where I could flourish, ONE guy I can marry, ONE place I can settle down in, ONE church I can attend?
I worry about misreading God's plan so much that I sometimes forget to just live. Take grad school for example - does God want me to go, or does He want me to pursue a career for the time being? What if I chose the "wrong" option, God's plan got derailed (can humans even do that?), and He had to do serious damage control? Does God have a plan B just in case I pick the "wrong" thing?
Think of it this way - with the premise that you're single and that "one and only" soulmates do in fact, exist - that yours lives in Venezuela while you live in Ohio. Say God called you to be a missionary in Venezuela, but you chose the fab life as a publisher in New York instead. Would you just never have met and married the soulmate in Venezuela (God says: "Too bad, you didn't follow my call so WELCOME TO SINGLEHOOD....FOREVER) or does God have someone else lined up for you in New York? And then think about Venezuelan guy/girl. Say you DO become a missionary and that person moves to Denmark. Then what?
I just wonder if God's plan is contingent on our decisions - humans are so prone to stubborness and making mistakes that I don't know how God can even plan stuff for us.
It's a little early for me to be thinking about marriage or kids, but I sometimes wonder if I'm destined for a second-rate existence just because I turned that one guy down...
Do you think God has only ONE calling for you? Do you every worry that your mistakes may actually derail God's plan?
-
recommend
- recs 4
-
share
-
email
- sent 1
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to revelife's Revelife Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in revelife's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (58)
Honestly? I seriously just had a huge discussion about this topic with a good friend, but it hinged more on whether or not humans are capable of free will. It might seem strange that I would bring this up on the topic of soul mates, BUT I think it is relevent.
In the end, God is omniscient and he knows exactly what we are going to do with our lives and every decision we are going to make. Although he knows what we are going to do, it is still essentially our choice.
That said, because he knows the path each of our lives will take, I believe that there is one person out there for you. Sure, there could be many that you love and get along with and could potentially live with. But I believe there is only one true soulmate for you. Of course there is always the chance that God might be wrong about your path, but I don't think I would bet against him.
According to my friend, it is more than a little disconcerting to feel like even though he is given choices, God already knows his decision, but I truly believe that is how it goes. Sure, we can do whatever we want in this world and potentially screw up his plans more than a million times, but God anticipates that. He knows the choices we will make, despite what he may or may not want us to do, and--this sounds weird--plans accordingly.
I don't know if that made any sense. I'd like to hear your thoughts on whether or not humans have free will based on the idea that God has a plan for us all. I think you could write a fairly inspiring blog on it. I would encourage you to use it sometime as a topic. And of course, let me know if and when you do so I can check out your opinions. Hope I helped, although I probably didn't. I was probably just confusing as usual.
Great post; great question.
Assuming you're reasonably healthy (emotionally) and genuinely following after God (imperfect, but sincere) there are millions of males you could potentially marry, with a positive outcome. The choice is yours; if you're interested in a relationship, seek one.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with being single; there is also nothing wrong with feeling 'created by God' for relationship, marriage and family. Both options equally have merit.
If you're wired for relationship, be sure you're fishing in a good pond (clubbing doesn't yield a huge supply of God-seekers) and be sure you're moving slowly, acting wisely, getting good advice.
Don't worry about missing "Plan A" and getting stuck with Z.
Serve God, be a good son/daughter/aunt/uncle/niece/nephew, and move forward in the direction that seems best --- toward single life or toward relationship. Pray as you go. Honor God's promptings when you sense them. Love other people and care for them; avoid being all wrapped up in your own issues.
ohhhhhh yessssssss....i'm a queen of worry. I always worry that i'm doing the wrong thing, and "what if..." it's so frustrating to just NOT KNOW things. We're human, duh, so we don't know everything in our future. And duh, God has it planned out, and it's all gonna work out. BUt i just can't seem to put my mind at ease about all this stuff, esp the decisions that i won't be able to change, like who i marry. I keep wondering, "is he the guy i'll be happy with for the rest of my life, or is someone better out there for me? What if i make the wrong decision?" So we'll see...it's an ongoing struggle of trust and worry, it seems.
Kind of ALL THE TIME. But at the same time, I know He's sovereign and no matter what I do, He'll eventually get me where He wants me to be, no matter how dumb I am sometimes. I'm experiencing both that fear and assurance at the same time right now, since I broke up with my significant other of almost two years last night. We had even talked about future lives together, and God was at the center of our relationship. But I felt like lately God was telling me I needed to focus on Him, only on Him. So it's over, and now I'm single at 22 and freaking out in my head about all the stuff you mentioned. And it's kind of funny how a lot of the posts showing up from my subs and their recs are talking about relationships and being single and God taking care of us. I guess I still need to learn to trust completely.
Hmmmm - this is a good question. I think of it this way, when God put Adam and Eve in the Garden he told them they could eat of ANY fruit except the one. And I think that's the guiding principle for most of my decisions including who I'll be firends with, and who I'll date, and who I might possibly marry. (although as a divorced person, I'm not very interested in going back there anytime soon.)
Some people are off limits. Some people are distasteful to me (God wouldn't have a problem with me choosing the papaya, but I don't LIKE papaya), some people aren't good for me, (I LOVE strawberries but they give me a rash), and then there are the peaches/melons/raspberries of life - I'm equally happy with whichever one I have on my plate.
Like we humans could actually stop the things God wants for us. For example, he saved us whether we like it or not. I've heard many stories about how, despite it not ever being a part of the 'plan', many men found themselves priests. If God has a plan, it'll happen. Also, he knows what you'll choose before you even choose it. So, keep that in mind. As for marriage and happiness, you could find that in anyone you so chose, however I do believe there is one person who will fulfill the role and succeed as your complimentary half better than any other because you were created in harmony by a well-planned Creator,
there never will be an answer to this question. but it's fun to speculate.
awesome post. this really hit home for me.