Monday, 07 July 2008
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Soulmates: God's Plan, or One of Many Options?
Almost everytime I'm with a new group of friends, someone brings up this question to break the ice: "So, do you think there's only one person for you, or do you think there's a lot of people you could be happy with?"And every time they ask that question, I answer, "I think there's a lot of people I could potentially marry and live happily-ever-after with, but God only leads me to one of them (two if the first guy dies on me, and then I remarry)...or maybe He just orchestrates it so I don't meet any of the 10 guys I could potentially be with, so instead, I become a bird lady."
"Neurotic," the other party says, to which I reply -
"Sap."
My mom, ever the romantic even after more than two decades of marriage, begged to differ. "I know that God has a really good guy in mind for you," she says whenever I visit home, still unquestionably single. She's even given him a name - Boaz - after Ruth's husband.
Now that I'm one year away from graduating, I wonder a lot about what God has in store for my future, and whether He has only one future planned or several alternatives. Is there really only ONE job where I could flourish, ONE guy I can marry, ONE place I can settle down in, ONE church I can attend?
I worry about misreading God's plan so much that I sometimes forget to just live. Take grad school for example - does God want me to go, or does He want me to pursue a career for the time being? What if I chose the "wrong" option, God's plan got derailed (can humans even do that?), and He had to do serious damage control? Does God have a plan B just in case I pick the "wrong" thing?
Think of it this way - with the premise that you're single and that "one and only" soulmates do in fact, exist - that yours lives in Venezuela while you live in Ohio. Say God called you to be a missionary in Venezuela, but you chose the fab life as a publisher in New York instead. Would you just never have met and married the soulmate in Venezuela (God says: "Too bad, you didn't follow my call so WELCOME TO SINGLEHOOD....FOREVER) or does God have someone else lined up for you in New York? And then think about Venezuelan guy/girl. Say you DO become a missionary and that person moves to Denmark. Then what?
I just wonder if God's plan is contingent on our decisions - humans are so prone to stubborness and making mistakes that I don't know how God can even plan stuff for us.
It's a little early for me to be thinking about marriage or kids, but I sometimes wonder if I'm destined for a second-rate existence just because I turned that one guy down...
Do you think God has only ONE calling for you? Do you every worry that your mistakes may actually derail God's plan?
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Comments (58)
I don't believe in soulmates. Out of the near-7 billion people on the planet, there is no possible way that there is only ONE person who you are supposed to be with.
But then again, the idea of "soulmates" usually correlates with the idea of destiny, or fate. I believe in neither. Frankly, I find the notion of soulmates to be a bit noxious and slightly reminiscent of a week-old middle school relationship.
Yeah, I'm a bit of a skeptic. XD
God will turn everything I do into a happier existence for my sake. To say that me making a mistake would ruin my life, means my life is ruined. I make too many mistakes... like you said... I just think that if we choose a path that WE think will make us happy, it will make us happy and chances are God will throw in his extra bit of awesomeness also, you know what I mean? Second guessing God is a game we sure as heck can't win... I am sick of trying to.
=)
To a certain extent our sin will always fumble God's best for us but he is bigger, stronger and more powerful then we can possibly imagine. He's got the whole world in his hands, as the childhood song is sung. "All the days of my life are written in his book before one of them came to pass" odes Kind David as he spoke by the power of the Holy Spirit. God is bigger and brighter then the immense blackness then our uncertain future. Trust must be our posture. "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." The ancient and eternal words speak and confirm the all powerful sovereignty of Almighty God. I guess at the bottom of it if God really decress a mate for us, it will happen. I think he often gives us libirty. In the end he knows, and we wont understand him all. Afterall he holds the world, us and our understanding can't begin to fathom the depth of his wisdom and mystry. Let us praise him together, that he is above all of our knoweledge and understanding. Amen.
sure there are Ruth and Boaz stories, sure there are Isaac and Rebecca stories. But there are Jacob and Leah and Rachel stories, and David and Bathsheba stories, and Hosea and Gomer stories too, and God doesn't seem to have quite as hard a time with human stories as we humans do. the more i learn about God the more i realize there is no guessing what's up his sleeve....
He knows the plan He has for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. I don't think you can ever 'surprise' God. So just trust, and obey!
finding your soulmate comes unexpectantly, least it did for me. and I'm not necessarily too into reliegion and whatnot, but I do believe everyone has a soulmate and you'll know when you find him or her, trust me. So, don't regret turning that guy down, you did it for a reason and you'll see why sooner or later when you ARE together with your destined man. You just have to be patient and let god do his work. c:
There's no god.. you just meet randomly.
life goes in so many directions. God's plan will come apparent for you some how. and if God has someone for you, whether they are in venezuela, or in denmark does not matter. God can and will bring you two together.
Wow I love your posts! I usually quickly glance over revelife entries in my subscriptions page, but lately I've been noticing some pretty insightful pieces, and yup ... I just checked and they were all written by the same author. =P The questions you bring up, the thoughtpaths you take, the semi-conclusions you've come to ... they echo very strongly with me. Haha tell Chris to give you a raise, even if they're paying you in fake monopoly money. Anyway, keep the entries coming, and keep pursuing after God!
i definitely think there is one person and you wind up with them no matter what. you go a different way and it works out another way, but you still wind up together. the guy in venezuela could wind up on vacation in new york, etc
Thanks for posting this blog! :)
I always think about this question. I always think about fate and destiny and whether God really does have a hand in play for this part of our lives.
Honestly, I believe that he does. I believe that God shows us signs to act upon certain decisions; if, and only if we are serious and open about it. We can't go wrong with any decision in our lives if we think of God along with prayer and discernment. I am currently single and I've been single for the past two years after those crazy High School years. People ask me what in the world am I waiting for. I guess during those college years people are so accustomed to try new things and meet new people. I just want to wait around for 'the right girl.' I just wanna build myself up for her and make myself worthy enough for someone who will complete a different part of me that I probably don't really know much about yet. The loneliness is sad, the pain of seeing others hooking up is disappointing, but I believe. I believe that God will show me the signs, I believe that my guardian angel will make me act. I totally believe in fate and destiny. Believing is seeing right?
I find that God has a lot of latitude in you choosing the right spouse/job/college/menu item.. etc.
Someone could go to college A or college B and I don't think God is worried about it. Instead, I think God is wondering if that person will still maintain that attitude of worship. In short,... I think asking if these sort of A or B questions are really the wrong questions. =)
Still can't help wanting God to put someone in your lap and have a dove come down and a beam of light shine on them. hehe.
whoa! i cant really answer your questions, cause i feel as if i'm in pretty much the same situation =S
I do believe God has a "Plan A" for us but I think He is a forgiving God and because of our disobedience; gives us other chances "plan b;c;d;e;f;and g". I think "plan a" is the difficult path but wont be near as difficult as the others.
Look at Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV):
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
God has more than one plan for each and one of us. As long as we stick to His Word and make it the final authority of our lives then I'm sure we'll walk down His perfect will for us.
I believe that there isn't "ONE". Following God's will is simply being obedient, I don't think it is a set path or anything. I go by the "seek 1st His Kingdom and His righteousness, then all these things will be added unto you" so I guess in making any decisions it would be like "hmm.. .where can I glorify God the most?"
It is not so much a condition by which God will give all the things you want, but it is more like because God is the one you want to be with the most, that everything else would follow. At least that's my perspective
If you want some fresh insight on one-possible-future-or-many? read "Blink" (OR "Blink of an Eye", it's almost the same thing) by Ted Dekker. It's a wonderful book on every level.
As for me, no, I don't believe there's only one "soulmate" for everyone. I don't think God's going to stick two soulmates meant to be together on Earth with 6 billion other people and says, "1-2-3, go find each other." And I don't think he necessarily works to bring you and a certain person together no matter what happens in your life. Some people marry their "soulmate" only to find out that they married a lie and that person was never God's dream for them at all. I believe there's many people out there that most people could happily marry and live forever with, but it's up to them. It's your choice who you marry. And everything you do and every choice you make, no matter how small it is, has the potential to influence your future life in amazing ways.
I believe that God has one plan for all of us, we may stray away but eventually we get back on track. God is like a GPS system. When you make a wrong turn or go the wrong way, the GPS system tells you how to get back on the right path; God does the same thing when we make wrong decisions in life. That’s why I don’t ever worry about "derailing" God's plan because in due time HE will steer me in the right direction. I don't regret anything in life because everything happens for a reason. Also I try not to get too stressed out or down when life gets tough and things seem bleak…life goes on and in the end everything will work out. Besides life struggles help us enjoy and appreciate the good times. An easy win isn’t as gratifying as one you've been struggling to win.
As far as soulmates...I believe we can have more than one soulmate in a lifetime. I know some may disagree but let me define my definition of a soulmate. A soulmate is someone you are deeply in love with and equally returns that same love. A soulmate taps into your being and someone who understands your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Its like when you hurt, I hurt; when you feel pleasure, I feel pleasure and together we can stand the pain. Based on that definition, it’s possible to have more than I soulmate. I think there may be a soulmate for each phase of life that we experience. However, many of us don't find more than one because we are too busy holding on to the old one. Don't get stuck holding on to the past, just live your life and whatever happens, HAPPENS and IT WAS MEANT OT BE! Not to sound corny or cliché but we need to learn to LET GO AND LET GOD!!!!!! That’s what I strive to do, LET GO AND LET GOD navigate me through the ups and downs that this thing called life brings!
This reminds me of the story I heard from my former church leader years back.
Up until she met him, she had always thought that her calling was to be a missionary.
Up until he met her, he had been engaged three times to Godly women, but at the end, something just didn't work out.
Obviously they're together now, but they've always said that it was the best thing to happen to them.
If it's in God's plan, it'll happen. Yes, there could be a number of comfortable relationships that could happen. But He doesn't want the "okay" for us. He wants the "best" for each and every one of us. So is would it be called soulmates? Perhaps. Either way, I still think there is one person out there that would be the best match for me. Why settle for okay or average when you could have the very best?
Also, our mistakes can be used by God for something good, even though at that moment it was something bad. I'm just reminded of Joseph, where his brothers were feeling guilty for selling him into slavery. But in response, he says that "you intended it for evil, but God intended it for good."
I think God has an indefinite number of soulmates for us. He just already knows which one we'll pick.
God's plan can't be derailed... he's God (there's the child-in-Christ response from a 19-year-old ;P)
I think that God knows what we're going to do, so he plans accordingly. I'm not saying it's like fate or destiny or something... but that we think we're making our own decisions for our own little plans, but really, God's got it all figured out. Or something like that ;)
God gives us opportunities, but ultimately, we decide what path we choose. I know that had I not had the terrible experiences I did in my past, I would not be able to love the man I have now given my heart and devotion the way I do right now. I appreciate him now more than I ever could have then. I refuse to believe that my past mistakes were part of God's plan because He is not a cruel God. Nevertheless, I'm blessed to be in the position I am currently in.
oh my. the very questions that have been the bulk of my obsessions these days. what is God's plan for us and how do we know we're doing the right thing?! i know without question that God brought a special person to my life, but I cannot for the life of me decide whether or not God meant for him to be 'the one'. I am praying for a clear answer.
Good luck to you... I have faith that God will answer our questions as long as we keep our trust in Him.
This reminds me of a statement from Sex and the City--" can you make a mistake, and miss your fate?"
I believe God has a plan for us...and we don't know the ultimate answer, but there is no messing it up. It's corny, it's over-said--but everything *does* happen for a reason. You just have to pay attention and learn the lessons, and I believe God will guide us to the right person (or people) eventually. I definitely think there's more than one person, but when it doesn't work out with someone for whatever reason...you have to take comfort in knowing it is God's plan. <3
wow. this scares me, a lot.