Monday, 07 July 2008
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Why I Homeschool My Kids
by mrs violet 
There are many reasons I could give you for why we home school, but for me it all started with a vision. As I held my first child and breathed in his new baby scent after arriving home from the hospital, I felt completely overwhelmed by the great responsibility of raising a child. As tears trickled down my naive and inexperienced baby-face (I was 21), I asked the Lord to give me His wisdom for this little life. I looked down at his big brown eyes and perfect skin, and I caught a glimpse of an 18 year-old man. It wasn't so much about what he looked like on the outside that I took notice of, but what his character was like, his strength, his gifts, talents, life skills and his security in who he was in his Lord Jesus Christ.As I saw that picture in my mind, it was almost like I was seeing logical steps tracing backward through the things he would need to do, the experiences he would need, the training I would have to employ to lead him to that place. The only way I could see that happening in our family at that stage was by home schooling. For me the message was loud and clear from the first weeks of my sons life. Yet my husband was still to be convinced, he had never heard of home schooling and certainly wasn't moved by any esoteric spiritual experience I had claimed to have from a God he didn't believe in. He wanted logic, he wanted reasons and he wanted understanding!
As the years went by and school age approached I took my husband along to a home school convention. I was filled with great anticipation that this would be the event that the hallelujah chorus would sound, angels would fill the air and a flashing neon sign from heaven would display the message....
Thou Shalt Home School
Boy was I wrong. As we drove away from the days program I turned to hubby with my bucket loads of girlish anticipation and asked him what he thought. He turned to face me, his face was white and he uttered words that I will never forget.
"I have been to the edge of the lunatic fringe."I was floored!
I had never thought of it that way. Putting God aside for a moment, having trained and graduated as a primary school teacher, home schooling made absolute sense too me. In fact my lecturers had given it a fairly good rap, and certainly when I had been about my practicals in various schools I had seen that there was not one perfect way to school a child.
I had deliberately gone out of my way on my teacher pracs to go to a different kind of school each time. I had seen Christian schools, Catholic schools, private boarding/day schools, public schools in low socioeconomic backgrounds and in the middle class. And yet I saw flaws in every system.
I was convinced this was the way forward for our family. I thought the convention would still hubby's nerves, but rather than do that, it put more concerns in his way. He was right of course, we home schoolers are often seen as the lunatic fringe. Those of us not in some cult or odd 'movement', tend to be quite independent thinkers. We are people who are happy or at least willing to swim against the tides of convention, and the reasons we do it while similar in part, are usually very individual and quite reflective of each families values.
This sometimes may show itself in our out outward appearances. Some have big families, others small, some wear head scarves, long skirts or beards for the men, and others are more 'herbal' in nature with dreadlocks and tie dye. Some practice a more disciplined regime and some are quite natural in their approach to child training. These were the extremes my husband was reacting to that day.
It wasn't so much about whether he we should home school any more, but did he want to be associated with these kinds of extremes?
In the end I took to prayer, and as I prayed I believe the Lord gave me a solution. I should ask my husband for a trial period. So this I did. I asked if I could home school my son for the 6 months before he would 'officially have to go to school and then we could take it from there.
Hubby thought that was a great idea and really we have never looked back. The 6 months flew quickly by and it was obvious our son was learning. He was involved in a home school group and was being adequately socialized with other children out of school hours. When we ended up moving to Sydney at what would have been the beginning of his first year in school, hubby's decision to keep home schooling was a blessing in disguise because we seem to have to move around a lot with the rental houses we were taking.
Now we are here in the UK 9 years on and home schooling is well and truly ingrained in our life. School comes with us where ever we go. Our children make friends outside of school, in church, scouting and sporting groups, they are well socialized, well adapted and are always welcomed wherever we go.
Should you home school?
I am not one of these home schoolers that believe it is the ONLY way to go. I believe God gives us very unique directions for our families when we stop to ask Him. Some families I know are bringing up marvelous children in the public education system, others in Christian or private. The decision shouldn't ever be limited to should I home school, but rather the more widely asked question, what does God want for our family?
Do you ever think about homeschooling your children? Why or why not?
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Comments (66)
I've just never met a home -schooled child that I felt was well adjusted socially. Especially ones who's parents say things like "Oh, we're in a home-schooling group, so of course they are social!"
I agree that having some control over what your kids learn is good- there is SO much I want my children's minds to be open too!- but the idea that some people have that control scares me. Have you watched the movie Jesus Camp?@ashleyannaka@xanga - Depends on the case. I was homeschooled, and when I attended a college classroom at 16, I was shocked at how disrespectful and inattentive highschool grads were. I was in the top of my classes.
@aledawithwings@xanga - On the other hand, many high school grads are social wrecks outside their little clique.
I am now in college, but my parents home schooled my older sister and I from day 1 and are continuing to home school our younger siblings. I have NEVER regretted their choice to home school us and am very thankful that they made the sacrifices necessary in order to do so.
Contrary to what some people may think, colleges actually LIKE to see students who have been home schooled; we consistently score better on tests and get better grades in college. I have had no trouble adjusting to college, except that many of the classes are not challenging enough for me. My older sister recently graduated from a prestigious local private university with a degree in Piano Performance, magna cum laude. So, I believe home schooling prepares one very well for college.
I have already decided that if I have children, I will home school them. However, home schooling is not right for everyone; it needs be prayed about and each family should do what they feel God is calling them to do.
I do plan to equip myself to teach my children well. I am currently working to obtain a BA in English and after that I will get multiple-subject and single-subject teacher's credentials, and possibly a masters in education.
For those of you interested in alternatives to both normal public school and homeschooling, I advise you to look into Middle College--it's a program in which public high school students enroll full-time at a community college while taking enough classes from high school teachers to still qualify as high school students. There are Middle Colleges across the US; I am not sure about other countries. In some cases, Middle College is used to prevent at-risk kids from dropping out, and this ranges from the druggies to the smart kids who were bored in normal public high school (me!) to the kids who just couldn't fit in. The general result is that the community is smaller and more intimiate, and the students get a better environment in which they can grow and flourish. It's not homeschooling, since you won't get to personally teach your kids, but neither is it public high school, which did some serious damage to me in the one year I was in it.
I'm in a Middle College program in California now, and I would not go back if you paid me. I don't know how my particular "branch" compares to other Middle Colleges, but based on my experience, I would recommend the program almost universally.
@Theophilus166@xanga - I think you raise some really great points. I do not subscribe to ALL of their ideas, but the Pearls have a great 5 part article entitled Jumping Ship
Personally, I have tried to go out of my way to make sure the 'glass house' approach to home schooling doesn't occur.
2 of my children have been on mission trips, they have all been involved in community out reach, acts of kindness- random and planned, festivals, tract giving, door knocking etc. In fact pretty well anything I have done to challenge my own sense of 'authenticity' I have brought my kids along too.
If I have comfort zones that need breaking down as an adult, then why not train children up to not fear them right from the onset?
I totally agree with your observations!
@aledawithwings@xanga - the big test I had was sending my 13 yr old (then) to school for the first time. He went to high school. Had never sat an exam in his life and had just be socialized as any 'normal' kid would be outside of school.
He got in all the top classes and fitted in well socially, he loved school but equally loved the idea of home when we moved OS.
@MelodicPuppy@xanga - I think you hit the nail on the head, it is a calling. Not for everybody, not for some special group of people - boy I hate that attitude. I have met home schoolers who shouldn't home school, because there reasons were all wrong and not about what God wanted for THEIR family, but because of a nice set of ideas.
Parents who bring up children for the LORD in any situation have won the victory in Christ Jesus, as far as I am concerned.
Bless your parenting and your family
x
@Bella_Mabel@xanga - I am really sorry this was your experience. Truly I am - home schooling aside, none of it sounds easy.
@chenglin85@xanga - I think Colleges and Universities especially in Australia are more and more tolerant of the HS child. Some allow you to submit portfolios of your learning and others entrance exams.
In fact MANY of them really love h/s ed kids because they have already been taught how to be self directed and responsible for their learning, rather than spoon fed.
I really appreciate your thoughts tho'.
x
@thetentguy@xanga - I really appreciated your balanced view and agree wholeheartedly with it.
Bless you
x
I was home schooled from 6th grade to 10th grade. I took piano lessons, spanish, art, science and french classes that other home schoolers were in. We had home school groups that went on field trips to different places such as other states.
It was overall a good experience, though I was extremely shy(which this didn't help me get out of the shyness) and my mom and I did not get along (because she was a perfectionist, English teacher who loved to guilt trip). We got in lots of fights and they ended up forcing me into private school against my will.
I guess it just depends on if your mom is laid back or not(or crazy).
I think as a shy girl, public school would have been a bad experience... especially since I was picked on all elementary school years.
okay, I'm gonna share my thoughts. I'm a homeschool grad (yep, I homeschooled all 12 years) and now I'm a sophomore at a good college.
homeschooling is like any other kind of school; some people love it, some people hate it. it does pose unique challenges, of course. for what it's worth, I was better prepared for college than some people I know, and as prepared as any of my public and private-schooled friends. throughout highschool I was taking care of my own schooling, so I know how to schedule my time and classes and how to study on my own. it wasn't "planned" that I would be primarily responsible for my own school, but that's how it happened as I ended up in a single-parent home in highschool. it worked out, though, b/c my foreign language program was on the computer, my higher maths were on videos, and you really don't need a teacher to study geometry, history, and literature text books.
I definitely feel like I got a more in-depth education than I would have at our local highschool. I also had time for the extra-curricular things I enjoyed, piano and voice lessons, choral groups, theater, even ballet one year. in college I'm doing fine socially - I have lots of friends; a couple were homeschooled, but most went to public school. we have great times together (though I occasionally get the "really?? you were homeschooled? I had no idea...")
the main thing I didn't do in highschool was write a lot of papers -
but in college, my professors LOVE my papers and I make good grades in
all my classes. not trying to be arrogant here, I just want to put some
of the positives of homeschooling out there.
that said - homeschooling was tough, especially with me handling a lot of it myself. other homeschoolers may call this a myth, but it's true that even though many homeschoolers are well-adjusted and social people, there are plenty who are socially awkward. just like with other schools, the shy kids are going to suffer, while the naturally outgoing kids are more likely to succeed, be popular, and so on. I think what's most important is to give homeschooled children LOTS of social opportunities.
I was a "shy kid," especially early on in highschool. I didn't have the social life I wanted, though my summers were great. once I got involved with a local theater academy, things got much better. I "got over" much of my shyness in an accepting, diverse environment - and I learned to be around lots of other people, how to interact, and so forth. my two little sisters (both homeschooled) are already much more well-adjusted than I was early in highschool; they take music lessons, they take dance at least once a week, they're involved in theatre, and they have friends. socially, I think they'll be just fine.
will I homeschool? probably not. I want a full-time career, so I wouldn't be able to be as hands-on as I'd like. do I recommend it? sure! provided you're qualified to teach, are flexible, use great material, and give your kids plenty of social outlets!
(sorry guys, this is like an essay. I'm bored at work...)
i've been homeschooled since fourth grade. i'm starting my senior year of high school this fall, so i still have a long way to go before making any decisions concerning my child(ren)'s education.Â
still, if i had to make a choice today, i'd send my kid to school (probably catholic) for at least k-2 because i don't have the patience to teach someone to read/do simple math. i would most definitely homeschool my kid through junior high school. where my kid goes for senior high school will be mostly his/her decision.Â
my mom decided for me that i'd be homeschooled through high school and it's hard for me to respect her decision when i had so little input. i've found over and over again that i work best in a classroom setting (i sense a higher level of accountability when i'm in a class full of kids), but mom felt the same sort of "spiritual calling" you mentioned. part of her decision was influenced by her negative experiences in high school (e.g. she got pregnant). personally, i feel like my academic growth's been stunted by mom's "spiritual highs" and stubborn resolve. she's admitted homeschooling is not for everyone, but cannot for anything believe one of her children could excel in a "government school," though i have proved i could time and time again.
Â
ultimately, when it's time for my kid to start high school, i'll let him/her make a decision and approve it or disapprove it based on his or her academic strengths/weaknesses--not based on my own feelings towards the state's system of education.
I was homeschooled, my husband was homeschooled, and we plan to homeschool. At least through 2nd grade, there are so many moral and educational lessons that I feel are left out of the public school system, especially with us being Christians. Now I do plan to have my children in public school by AT LEAST high school because I don't see it as fair to just dump my child into the real world with no outside training. Now granted, these are best laid plans, and they are only that, plans! My mom wanted to Homeschool me my entire education, but there a came a point for both me and my brother, where our learning ourgrew her ability to teach us, if that happens with my kids, I would most certainly main stream them, because I don't want to deprive them of an adequate education any more than I want them to have the WRONG education.
My husband is military, and with deployments and such we travel a lot while he is gone, and move during deployments, and each time the Army uproots us. Home schooling just makes sense to me, then we aren't bound to travel and move and all that ONLY when school has break. It seems to fit for our plans.
But then my daughter is only 9 months old with a second on the ways, so who knows where we will be in 4 or 5 years! All in God's timing and HIS plan! My plans come sencond, IF AT ALL, lol!
Amazing post. Truly amazing.
I have been homeschooled for the past four years after I decided public school was no longer the right path for me. And while I do believe that it is the best educational option, at least for me anyway, it is tough dealing with all the stereotypes. Which is why I love that your entry sheds some light on the fact that we're not all "extreme" about it.
I honestly don't understand where all the prejudice comes from. There's nothing weird about being homeschooled if you think about it. In fact, for hundreds of years homeschooling was the only option, and obviously our ancestors survived okay. Which is why I just don't get that so many people have negative feelings towards it. Even when I was in public school(Which was pre-k through 6th grade) I would hear people say that homeschooled children were weird, but I had never met anyone homeschooled so I just didn't judge the subject.
It can be very hard dealing with all the ignorance and hate. Other people just don't realize what homeschooled children and their parents have to go through not only with other people, but the government as well, just because they're choosing an alternative method of education. Everytime I meet someone new and they find out I'm homeschooled their attitude instantly changes and they start bombarding me with the same exact questions. Every single time. If there's one phrase I never want to hear again it's: "Wow, so you really have friends?" But until the rest of the world can just accept homeschooling as a legitate educational method, I know I will.
Anyway, before I turn this comment into a full-scale rant, I just wanted to thank you for writing such a great post. The more the word gets out there the more acceptance there'll be.
I personally went through the public school system. Looking back, I have retained minimal knowledge from those classes. I think that I would benefited from a home schooling program to explore, and learn in a more hands on enviroment.
I have a few friends that are homeschooled. To be honest, I don't think people would know they were homeschooled unless you told them. They are active in 4-H clubs, hang out like normal people and they are amazing friends.
Just because a few Homeschooled kids can't communicate doesn't mean it's a flaw with the system...I know plenty of "public" school kids that cannot communicate either.
@OfElection@xanga - I've never seen a high school student completely unable to function socially. And I graduated with a class of 600. I also went to a christian school with at least 50 home schooled kids in my class- I don't think I saw more than two who knew how to be social beings.Â
@professorglim@xanga - Great points you bring up there about the difference between being naturally shy etc... If you were as shy as you say you were and are doing well now though, that sort of blows the reasoning out of the water right? ;) To make a blanket statement that ALL homeschoolers are awkward and that ALL public schoolers are well adjusted is simply misinformed. The real root of the issue here is that there are a lot of people who say that homeschooling should be illegal because it hinders a child's development; and in California it very nearly is illegal in a sense. Making a child sit through hours and hours of classes with a hundred children at different learning levels also stymies personal development if that child can finish those same classes and learn more in a couple hours of private study.
Our founding fathers in America never meant for school to become the all inclusive child rearing institution it has now become. It was meant as a scholarly addition to a thriving lifestyle of learning and mentoring by others who's field you wanted to enter. That's why the homeschool movement has become so popular; people don't want someone they don't even know raising their children!
Sorry this is so long as well... oops!
Homeschool is great. Homeschool sucks. Depends on the kids, depends on the parents. It worked for me as it allow me to advance more quickly in my academics and better prepared me for college at that level. I haven't been stunted too much socially... I've been involved in student leadership every year of college; last year as an RA, and again as an RA/graduate student next year.
For some though, homeschool is torture. Could be overbearing parents (i can't imagine better suited parents than my own) or it could be that the kid can't handle it.
Treat all of your children individually. Recognize that one might do well in homeschool, and one require a classroom setting.
@WordFlyerJosh@xanga - Great points man!
@ocelot61@xanga - by "the real world" I mean a system. The world is run in systems. Offices, businesses, school. systems. Homeschooling liberates kids of the systems that society runs off of, and gives them disadvantages if they are unfamiliar with these systems once they go back into "the real world".
Also notice how I said "Teachers who have a lot of knowledge on the subject", not "people in college getting a degree." And honestly, I'd say even a person who got D's and nearly flunked out of a degree teaching program would have more of an education on certain subjects than a parent would. Of course I'm talking about when your child gets into harder classes in highschool, not if you're homeschooling for like, 1st or 2nd grade. If a parent has no idea what is going on with the lesson plans, basically the parent has to either hire a tutor, or the kid just has to buckle down and learn out of a textbook by themselves. And now, just how much does that suck? I do admit I had to do that for ONE of my classes this last year, but I can't imagine doing it for all of them if I'm so "gifted" and "bright" that my parents couldn't even understand my coursework.
I'd honestly say the "rude parents" and "rude children" lost their social interaction skills due to being locked in their homes all day with textbooks, but hey. What do I know, right?
PS: All of the homeschooled kids I still know have had a really fun time finding a job/getting into uni. Despite their "gifted nature" or "cunning and dynamic nature". I'd take a gander towards it's because employers, along with universities will literally go "LOLZ" upon seeing somebody who was learning out of a textbook by their mummy ;p
i think that homeschooling is great, and if you have valid reasons and qualifications (as you so clearly do!) then it can be immensly beneficial for your child. I wouldn't even say that home schooling is detrimental to socialization if the parents take care to immerse their children in social activities.
But I have to say that one reason for homeschooling that people use, that I am strongly against, is to shelter. Homeschooling your children just to shelter them from the outside world, avoid negative influences, etc... baffles me. In fact, I think it helps them grow even more by encountering and dealing with these things. They will eventually be thrown into it, you cannot protect them forever. After high school comes college, then the real world. They will face it, only by this time they will be completely on their own. And when they do, they should be able to stand on their own two feet.
Besides, public high school is not all sex, drugs, and deviance... contrary to popular opinion. Life was meant to be lived, and avoiding negatives is no way to live.
I suppose, normally I would be completely against it - I think it is better socially and culturally for a child to go to school (public/private). However, their are always exceptions. Just be sure if you home school and plan for your child to go into college, pass state tests, the PSAT, ACT, SAT that you are prepared for it. I would also suggest deciding how long you want to home school... maybe though elementary and middle-school. However, once they get into high school, the teaching is much harder, both for the children and the teacher. I could barely do Calculus in 11th and 12th grade, so I doubt my parent/s could teach it effectively.Teachers at this level are more specialized and have much more experience than you do (usually).
Also, don't just teach the subject that are easy or let your child only learn subjects that are easy for them. Schools do not do this and neither should you... for you child to pass and test and to continue passing grade levels, they must be taught in a very well-rounded and structured manner. Also, don't be afraid to fail (give low grades too) your child if they are not getting something. Hire a tutor maybe - but letting grades slide because you feel bad your child is not good at math or grammar or history will only end up hurting them more in the long run.
Me and my older brother were not home schooled
but my younger brother and sister were/are
@Bella_Mabel@xanga - Obviously the homeschoolers we know are completely different sets of people. I've never had trouble getting a job, all the homeschoolers I know have been accepted to every college to which they applied, including big name schools. I've had friends get some pretty sweet internships straight out of high school. As for "I can't imagine doing it for all of them..." Different people have different learning styles. Maybe just your learning style didn't mesh with homeschooling. With my learning style - I remember everything I read; can't remember a thing I hear, so even in college, I basically format my studying and homework to simulate what I did homeschooling as closely as possible (and spend most of my lectures doing homework for other classes). What's this about homeschoolers being locked inside with their textbooks all day? I was lucky to get one day a week where I didn't have to rush to finish my homework before heading off to some activity or other. People who are naturally sweet and gracious are going to teach their children to be sweet and gracious, people who are naturally rude are going to teach their children to be rude. Frankly, I know very few homeschoolers who have the attitude you described - if it was a result of homeschooling, a lot more homeschoolers would be that way, don't you think?
I think homeschooling is great, provided the child actually learns and does the work (it's so easy not to), and still gets social interactions, not just including parents and siblings.
I went to public school in kindergarten, and then was homeschooled for first grade. I'm not sure why. When I went back to public school for second grade, I was way ahead of everyone else. My parents considered moving me up to third grade, but for some reason that didn't happen. Also, the principal of the school refused to do anything for me. She told my mom, "Your daughters education is your problem and not mine." So, I was homeschooled in third, fourth, and the first month of fifth. In fifth grade, Mom and I had an argument so she decided I was going back into public school, end of story. I was socially awkward. Luckily, one girl took me under her wing, and we are still best friends 9 years later. I was still ahead of the other students, got great grades, and was academically bored out of my mind. After seventh grade, I skipped eighth grade and went straight to highschool. More social awkwardness, but time eased my feelings of being out of place with other people.
I still feel weird around people, and I know that part of it has to do with my genetics, but being homeschooled and away from other people kind of added to it. We did go to a few of the field trips, but I always hung out with my mother and sister who was homeschooled when I was, although two grades younger. I never really got used to being around people when I was young.