God Called Us to Give Up Our Relationship

Wednesday, 02 July 2008

God Called Us to Give Up Our Relationship
from christie
I've always been the good girl. I never went too crazy, and I was usually shy around new people. I'd never been a person who wanted to party, and people always said that I have a high maturity level for my age. I didn't like to be around smoking of any kind. I hated it when my friends talked about drinking or something perverse. It's just the way I've always been. I had crushes here and there, but I hadn't truly liked someone full throttle for the past year and a half at least. I knew that I would not settle for a mediocre partner, and I just let the idea of having a boyfriend go because it didn't seem that important anymore. I knew that one day at a certain point and time, there was someone perfect out there for me, one person waiting for me to love and him to love me in return. That's when he came along...
He was not so much the good guy. In his highschool years he would: party, drink, play mean pranks of people, knock down mail boxes, look at other women while he had a girlfriend, and look at other women in a lustful way. He even involved himself in a sexual relationship with his then-girlfriend. Then she turned her back on him, and slept with someone else. That's when his world got rocked... he fell apart because of that experience, and turned to God. He had a period where he simply dated the Lord, and turned out to become a strong man of God. He prayed about when he could enter a relationship again, and the Lord replied with: "When I bring her to you."
Which brings all of you to the "us" portion of the entry. We'd met at my niece's apartment sometime in the beginning of November because we all went up to Kalamazoo to check out the church she was going to. At first, he did not warm up to me, I mean he was friendly, but I knew from the first moment I saw him that I liked him. And that was that. But two weeks later, I saw him again at the apartment, and this time he was very friendly. We began to flirt a little bit and get to know each other better, and all I remember is that when I left for my town, and he stayed behind. I looked back at him in the doorway of the apartment with a smile thinking: "I'll see you again." Basically, he called me the day after thanksgiving, and ever since then... here we are... seven months later.
Seven months later, the Lord has called me to sacrifice my love for him, if only for a season. I know seven months doesn't seem a lot, but it's hard to type out the full extent of our story... I'm heartbroken, I'm torn, and I'm hurt. He took me home from church tonight, and I walked out of that car knowing that we would never be the same. I can't talk to him about how I'm feeling or say things like "I miss you." He can't show me he cares more about me than any other girl. I can't show him that I absolutely adore him. It's so hard right now because it's like you can't see past right now. I mean, the Lord knows all so he already knows how it's going to play out, but I can't envision anything else than the pain. I can't even hope that we're going to be together in the end later on because my focus would still be on him. This relationship literally has to die in order to seek the Lord whole-heartedly. I don't even know if I'll be able to talk to him. It could take months, years...this is what it means to be selfless.
I just have to believe that in the end, everything will be so much better than it is now. The Lord will provide exceedingly and abundantly more than what I could've ever imagined. In some supernatural way, things will be okay. I just know it.
Has God ever called you to give up something you really wanted to keep (a person, a habit, a place, a job, etc?) How did you deal with that?