Wednesday, 02 July 2008
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Question of the Day: Telling Non-Christians You'll Pray For Them - Awkward?
Some non-Christians say they're encouraged when someone offers to pray for them. Others feel offended and a little awkward. While a negative response shouldn't make you pray for them any less, there's the issue of how (or if) you let a non-Christian know that. Many Christians hesitate to do so because their friends get defensive, others only say so when their friend confides in them a real problem, and still others don't think it's appropriate at all. Do you tell non-Christians that you'll pray for them, even when they don't ask for it? If you're a non-Christian, how do you feel when someone says that you're in their prayers?
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Comments (73)
Maybe sometimes?
I'm a non-Christian and I don't really care if someone wants to pray for me or not. If they do, I feel, "hey, they like me" but I would feel the same if a pagan witch were to say, "I'll cast a spell for you". Both do about the same amount of good (which is to say, none) but they also show me that their hearts are in the right place. They care.
I'm agnostic, and it really depends. I get offended if they're being condescending about it (i.e. "I'll pray for you, because your secular logic is invalid."). I don't turn down good thoughts, but I think it's unfair that a Christian can say that to me, I should be able to share my beliefs, but mine aren't usually welcomed.
I'm a non-Christian and I take the I'll pray for you as a nice comment. It says that the person who is willing to pray for you is being compassionate and supportive to your problem. It's a nice sentiment. Also I believe in the power of prayer, no matter how it's done or to who.
I would feel greatly offended if a Christian were to say that they're praying for me. It makes me feel as if they are saying that my own religion is not enough to help me. I've got a great religion, so thanks, but no thanks.
I am a non-Christian, an atheist. And I have had Christian friends in the past say that they will pray for me or for one of the people close to me that I am worried about if I talk to them about a problem. I don't get offended because just because I don't believe it does anything doesn't mean they do. To me it just shows that I am in their thoughts, and that my problems or worries about people close to me also matter to them. They are showing they care about me as a friend should, and that is more powerful than anything. I respect that. And I am grateful that despite my lack of belief, and that I am open and vocal about it, we still have a relationship where we can respect what matters to the other.
The only time I ever get offended is by random Christians I don't know who have no respect for anyone or for the fact that people believe different things saying they will pray for a non-believer because they are going to hell. Somehow, I don't think I'm the one missing the point there.
I'm a non-Christian, and I don't want anybody to pray for me. I simply tell people to worry about their own problems; I can face tribulations just as easily without their thoughtful concerns.
@sameasalways123@xanga - "what does it matter how a person expresses general concern for another and says that they wish the other the best?"
That's exactly what I think.
I am not a Christian per-say, although I do believe in Jesus and his teachings, and I find it very heartwarming when people tell me they will pray for me. (as long as they aren't saying oh i'll pray for God not to eternally damn you to hell because you're a sinner, which I find super condescending and ridiculous)
I just feel like praying for someone else, or even thinking about their well-being is such a genuinely selfless and caring thing to do, how could it be offensive. Regardless of what religion they are I feel like everybody could use a few prayers now and then!
Yea, that is a really uncomfortable situation!
I remember either in late 2006 or early 2007, I had a friend on Myspace that was an athiest and I told her (I can't remember the exact reason) that I would pray for her and she said she didn't want me to...she got really mad at me over it and we stopped talking for several months and then she got back in touch with me on Myspace and she had found the Lord and she's a Catholic now. I'm so thankful that she is saved now because it really worried me and bothered me because she's such an amazing person.
I'm so thankful that the Lord answered my prayers!
God bless!
Ellen
@Isismoon@xanga - There's no self glorification in letting someone know that I'm thinking about them enough to pray for them. I'm not judging anyone. Touchiness is a form of being judgmental. When someone gets offended over something that is important to you, they're judging you for speaking your mind.
@BeUnique7846@xanga - If they need praying for then maybe you should be sensitive enough not to speak your mind. Speaking your mind is an act of ego and they are needing love on their terms at the moment, not yours. I would hope that if you needed help someone would say they are praying for you and not say something such as "I will consult the astrologer for you". Or would you be ok with that? If you would then I see your point.
telling a friend that i'm praying for them has never really seemed awkward for either party. they usually understand that it's a well-meant gesture, and that i'm thinking about them.
it used to really bother me when others told me that though, especially in situations/times that felt like extra out-of-the-ordinary prayer wasn't needed, but even in those situations i'm able to keep in perspective the thoughts behind it.
I realize that "I'll pray for you" is (usually) said out of kindness, but I have to say I find it a little condescending, particularly when it comes at the close of a debate about religion/theology. In that context, "I'll pray for you" generally means "I can't think of a rational reply to your arguments, so I'll hide my ignorance and seize the moral high ground by assuming an air of righteous superiority." Honestly, I'd much prefer to hear "I'll think about what you have to say."
I once saw a thing that said 'praying- a way to say you are helping without actually doing anything'. If you feel you do anything or not, it's basically meaningless to someone else to know about- at least, as meaningless as a lucky charm. I never tell someone that I am/will be praying for someone if I can't also actively show them that I am or will help them with said issue. As for prayers of thanks, I do things ridiculously over the top, which is quite amusing to Christians and non-Christians, and I think- since it is something that makes everyone including me happy, that it is a good way to thank God. *goofily shoves his hands in the air* Praaaaaise Jeeeesus! ^_^
i might have but it is kinda awkward...alot of things may seem awkward but that doesnt mean they are wrong. At first we will be uncomfortable with it but we are definitely called to pray. I may not always tell people i'll pray for them but now more than ever I am praying for them. Prayer is so important and although there aren't always instant results (God's not an "instant" God--im not saying He won't answer prayers instantly all the time...he does it in His own time) it is very effective.
@cobalt_redux@xanga - why not? it wouldn't do anything but good
@hazeL_eyed_mami08@xanga - More good would come from my own actions, not from someone else's good thoughts.
@cobalt_redux@xanga - I agree...just thinking good thoughts won't do anything. thoughts are nouns, but praying is an action that will reap results. Has anyone ever prayed for you?
@Isismoon@xanga - I would be okay with that. I may not agree with their beliefs, but if that's what they choose then I'd be flattered that they would say something like that. That lets me know they care enough to do that. Speaking your mind has nothing to do with ego, It's just better to be straight forward and honest rather than mincing words and being so concerned about offending people. I mean there is a certain line to be drawn but we can draw the line too tight otherwise we won't get anywhere. Communication is important. Besides, God calls Christians to be a good example of what a Christian is. Letting people know your praying for them not only shows them you care, but also that God is someone you can go to and trust in times of need.
sometimes i do, when the situation seems appropriate, such as when they've sought me out to talk about their personal problems. if they shrug it off, it's okay. if they ask what's the point, i tell them, "it can't hurt, right?" and they agree. i think it's mostly a way to let them know that someone out there is thinking about them and cares for them, as reassurance that they matter, that they are loved.
I tell my friend all the time (well, sometimes) that I'll pray for him.
I think I'm getting over being afraid of him feeling awkward. Too bad for him. He's getting the prayers anyway.
I'm a non-Christian, and this is condescending and rude, plain and simple. If you want to express concern or goodwill or anything like that, there are all kinds of ways to do so without invoking a make-believe deity. Whichever god or goddess or -whatever- you believe in won't question your commitment to him/her/it if you phrase things in not-overtly-Christian terms, really. ;)
Plus, speaking personally, I'm a transgender girl - Christians tend to bear ill will toward people like me (anyone LGBT, really) based on -the way we are-, and so this whole "I'm praying for you (and telling you about it) because I really care and genuinely believe that I'm positively affecting things and not because I disapprove of what you believe/who you are/etc., really!" thing tends to ring extra hollow. (I'm an agnostic, too, but that doesn't seem to elicit the kind of bile from Christians that the trans thing does. ^_^; )
Just one girl's opinion, thankyaverymuch.
It depends on the context. For me, it's usually a phrase tossed at me during debate and used in an elitist fashion. So for example, the Christian having given up on further attempts to change my point of view will often say "I will pray for you" knowing well it is offensive because I am impious. In this case, it's used to settle the argument in their eyes, essentially what they are saying is this "I'm right, you're wrong, and I will use prayer because obviously it's the only way I can get through to you." Is that offensive? Hell yeah it is. In fact there is even a verse in the Bible that cautions against this, I stumbled on it once but can't seem to find it now.