Wednesday, 02 July 2008
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Question of the Day: Telling Non-Christians You'll Pray For Them - Awkward?
Some non-Christians say they're encouraged when someone offers to pray for them. Others feel offended and a little awkward. While a negative response shouldn't make you pray for them any less, there's the issue of how (or if) you let a non-Christian know that. Many Christians hesitate to do so because their friends get defensive, others only say so when their friend confides in them a real problem, and still others don't think it's appropriate at all. Do you tell non-Christians that you'll pray for them, even when they don't ask for it? If you're a non-Christian, how do you feel when someone says that you're in their prayers?
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Comments (73)
I do tell non-Christians that I'll pray for them, but one of them being a sibling, I know she doesn't appreciate it much because she doesn't understand how important prayer can be, because she simply doesn't believe in its power...
Sometimes that makes me feel a little bit defeated; for example, "::throws hands up in air:: What's the point?!" ... But, I still always pray for people, even if they don't ask for it, or understand how important I personally believe it to be.
i have to say that before I became wholly Christian, I really didn't understand too much about the Christian practices (esp of prayer). Bascially, I believed in God but I wasn't sure what Christianity was about. But one time when I was confessing a lot of my fears and problems to a friend who was Christian, he stopped and asked me suddenly if he could pray for me. For me, that was kind of shocking in a sense in that although I knew he was Christian, he has never really imposed much of what he practiced onto me before. But that personally touched me and made me feel like I was truly cared about, and I understood that at least it was he cared enough for me to want to pray for me, even if he rarely talked about Christianity and his practice/faith with me. I don't know. small things like that, even though they may seem like a completely catastrophe.... I guess you just have to sometimes trust that God will take care of the rest. I mean realistically no matter what you pray it is God that answers the prayer right? So yes, even though it is discouraging sometimes and sometimes praying for non-Christians may seem like wasted effort, I feel that trusting that God will interfere and show that effort and your prayer to the other person, and will answer your calling.Â
I appreciate the thought if someone offers to pray for me. Just like I offer to think positive thoughts for people.
I'm not sure if I've told a non-christian I'll pray for them, but I certainly don't do it regularly. The funny thing is that non-christians do ask me to pray for them! The thing is that I've been told by people from other faiths that they'll pray for me and this makes me uncomfortable.
Im not a Christian but I still pray for and send positivity to other people, so when Christians pray for me I dont really feel too awkward :)
I do, and my non-Christian friends don't get offended when I tell them that'll I pray for them. I think it's comforting for them to know that they're in my thoughts when they're going through tough times.
When I was a non-Christian, a lot of people prayed for me without letting me know until after I got saved. I'm so glad that they did. I wouldn't be where I am today without their prayers. But my appreciation only comes when I know how important prayers are. If they told me when I was unsaved that they're praying for me, I would be either indifferent or maybe even think it's offensive because the unsaved usually have an issue with pride (because it's subtly telling them that the choices that they make are wrong).
I don't tell non-Christians that I pray for them, but I do pray for them without them knowing.
i will certainly feel loved and some kind of being special when I know I'm in someone's prayer even if I am an non-Christian. Also, I have not yet experienced any kind of awkardness when I told my fds I would pray for them. Quite to the opposite, they all really appreciate and were touched when they heard what i told them.
Again, I think language only serve communication to some extend, there are lots done via other media. What we say is not so important compare to what kind of love we show to our friends.
i tend to pray for non-believers and not tell them, because they wouldn't understand the full weight of it. when i pray for other christians, i generally wouldn't hesitate to tell them.
I sort of feel out the situation. If it seems appropriate I will mention praying for the person. Most people I've encountered don't mind, even if they're not believers.
I don't think there's harm in gently mentioning that I'll be praying for someone's situation, especially if they've sought me out to tell me about a problem they're having.
Thank you for the questions. They warn - question do we pray at all, or just discuss the parayer? That awakens. Thank you.
When we pray indeed the flowers smell and the gratitude flourishes, yet the drought and floods dominate on our Earth at a moment. What does that mean? Is it not the answer? What the Bible says on that topic?
We were tought not to be the pharisees, isn't it?
As a non-Christian, I feel rather awkward when Christians say they'll pray for me. I thank them, and try to give them the benefit of the doubt by assuming it just means "you'll be in my thoughts."
It's a nice thought, but perhaps not always appropriate for non-Christians. If you really think praying will help me, then go ahead, but I'd rather not hear about it, particularly in times when I need comfort.
But NEVER, EVER tell someone you'll pray for them if you were having a conversation/argument about whether God/Jesus/Christianity is "true." Ending an argument with "I'll pray for you" basically comes across as "I didn't hear anything you just said, you godless heathen."
Well, sometimes I don't feel like praying for them. Honestly. Its exhausting putting myself out there and folks not reaching back. I am here. They see me they know me. I pray for those who the Spirit prompts and I usually don't share that I do.
My experience has been more on the negative side, so, instead I just tell them I'll keep them in my thoughts as they go through whatever it is they're experiencing. Besides, a person doesn't have to know a prayer is being said for them in order for God to answer it.
Good question!
I always tell non-christians that I will pray for them - especially when they are having difficulties. I don't really care whether or not they are offended. I pray that they will be saved. I pray that they will come to know God is able, and still living through their situation.
However, we should not tell them we are praying for them in a condesening manner. We should not even tell them that we are praying that they will "see the light" or be saved. It all depends on the individual or the nature of the conversation.
For the most part, everyone beleives that there is a God or some sort of "superior being" (that's a whole topic in itself) so in my experience most people don't mind when I tell them I'll pray for them or atleast they don't let it show. It's not what you say - it's how you say it. Non-believers need to know that we serve a God that will bless them simply because He is a good God and because of the blessing of Abraham (I'm not going to go off on that tangent). Perhaps, the non-christians will come to appreciate God honoring our request for their lives and come out with a testimony that Jesus Christ is Lord if they know that we've prayed for them to God. I'm a wittness. I've seen it happen.
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@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - I appreciate your honesty and totally get your sentiment about the "about whether God/Jesus/Christianity is
"true." Ending an argument with "I'll pray for you" basically comes
across as "I didn't hear anything you just said, you godless heathen."". I have known too many Christians who pull that remark, or ones like it, and seen the other literally looked crushed or hurt in that they felt like their point wasn't heard.
Basically, if I want someone to hear what I have to say about god's existence, I "HAVE" to be willing to hear their case for their non-belief. I can honestly say that I have never heard a ridiculous argument (other than from a 12 year old boy just wanting to be a smart-a$$). Every person's reasons for belief, or non-belief, are real to them and must be acknowledged. Neither side of the equation should ever be demoralized or diminished.
Thank you for your openness to express your feeling about this.
oh...and I'll be praying for you....<=====I just crack me up!
If someone asks for prayer, I'll tell them I'm praying for them. If they just tell me of their hard time, I'll pray for them without telling them, or I'll tell them they are in my thoughts. I do that with Christians and non-Christians alike. Sometimes, if a Christian doesn't ask you to pray for them, they may take offense to you saying you will pray for them, almost as if you are undermining their ability to pray for themselves. So I only tell people I will if they specifically ask, otherwise I just do it without them knowing.
i think its important. even if it makes people uncomfortable, it is good for them to know if they are being prayed for. not only does it make them more aware of the fact that you care about them, but it shows them that part of the way you care is by praying!
Fortunately, praying for another person whether they are Christian or not is beneficial for them and for us. Prayer draws us closer to God and reminds us of our dependence upon him and deepens our trust in him. Christian or not, God exists and is a part of each person's life. If you think telling a non-Christian that you will pray for them might offend them or make them uncomfortable, don't tell them!
I don't have many non-christian friends. My family knows I pray for them...so I don't really tell anyone that. But I have to admit that I would probably be scared to, for fear of what they would think. Pretty dumb...I think I should get over that fear and say it. I'll think about it some more.
Why do you have to to tell them about it? Is God going to listen more if the person in prayer knows?
As an experienced ex-atheist who still lives with atheists... I don't see how this is an issue. If you know they will be offended, why say anything?
Why tell them, if you're gonna do it just do it. No need to flaunt it.
I don't feel awkward about it. I just tell them I am going to pray for them and then I do. That is the most important thing we need to do.
The awkward part is the person I tell I am going to pray for. They are the ones who feel out of place. They don't know what to say.
if they are your friend, they'll be accepting no matter what
one may offend another if they are not very close friends moreso acquaintances.
I have a friend who always says she'll keep me in her prayers. I don't take offense to it, being jewish myself, and I say it back as well. She knows im Jewish and understands that for me, saying "I'll keep you in my prayers" is like telling her that I'll keep her in my thoughts, I'll hope that she's always doing well. I don't think its an offensive thing, or any cause for insult. It may be awkward for people, but if you get to the root of it - what does it matter how a person expresses general concern for another and says that they wish the other the best?