I have been feeling the same way myself to be honest with you...

@IssyMae@xanga - wow that's great! you're doing more than I am to get closer... I should learn from you. I might consider that Bible study of yours on Xanga

congrats on going on the mission trip. that's fantastic!

I think the fact that you are seeing that something is "missing" is good.
Sometimes we get caught up in the logistics, politics and traditions of religion and we loose sight of the fact that Jesus is not that, he's something more.

Whenever I'm caught up in those things and loose sight of who Jesus is I take some time off and try to familiarize myself with him again. I do love God and sometimes I can slip, but I do know that God loves me and he's just waiting for me to see that it's not religion, it's HIM that I should be learning more about.

i know how you feel, as i feel the same way a lot of the time.

last year was my first year of college, and my mother made me promise to find a catholic group and go to at least two meetings (and i had the entire year to do so).  i grudgingly agreed, as i really didn't want to go, even though i had no idea what it would be like.  i found a group and i actually stayed with it.  i went to pretty much every single meeting last year.  they are an amazing group of people, and i think that being in that group really helped me to stay true to myself.  i am still amazed by how close to God some of them seem.

i am working on it.  i have started to read the bible more and pray as well.  I hope that i can have half of what they seem to have.  and, i'm going to be on leadership for that group next year, so hopefully i can help the incoming freshmen.

For the longest time I was completely stuck. I believed, I prayed when i needed something and felt so inclined to do it, I went to church, yadda yadda yadda. Yet I never got any closer to God. Long story short, I realized I was only talking to him and doing those things because I knew I should. One day I was reading an article online and it was a person who had just gone through what I was going through. I realized what things I could change to help me.

I realized that prayer should be daily. It's not about just about asking God for something, it's about talking to him. Try praying everyday, just talking to Him. Tell Him what's going on in your life, even though He knows everything I think He likes it better if we just sit and tell Him, show Him what we've been thinking about and doing. Talk to Him about your friends and family and their struggles. Thank Him for how He's working in your life and ask Him to help you with what you need help with. Ask forgiveness for anything that you've done wrong. And keep praying about the same things till they are worked out.

Also, try reading your Bible at least once a day. I prefer to ask God to lead me to a verse that will help me, then open it randomly and read the page that's there. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. Generally when I flip through it for long enough, I come to a verse that strikes a chord and I study it. I sit there and read it a couple of times, break it down and figure out what each part means. I've found it helpful lately.

You could try getting a book of daily devotions and doing one once a week, everyday, whenever you feel you need that extra boost. Many come with an index of what each devotion is geared towards (love, prayer, faith, family, etc) and you can pick and choose for whatever you've been struggling with.

Also I've found that having a friend that I can just sit and talk to about my struggles and doubts and everything has worked wonders. Whenever I find myself having problems I talk to her about them and we sort through them a bit. She knows me better than I know myself, so we can usually get it worked out. It's nice to have someone else who believes that I can go to and know that she's been through many of the things I have.

Well, I hope I've helped in some way, shape or form! Good luck and God bless!

The mainstay of a close relationship with God is His word.  The word of God is the vehicle through which He gives us His greatest gift - Himself.  Even David, "a man after God's own heart," often felt like God was far away... he dealt with it by meditating on who God is and what He has done, which makes the Psalms a great place to go when you feel distant from God.  Jesus told his disciples in John 14:15, "No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you."  It is in the revelation of God that He makes us His friends, and so it would be natural that it is in His word that we find the intimate relationship with Him you desire.  And remember, God promises that "you will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart."  I will be praying for you. :)

I think all of us have felt that way at one time or another.  I would encourage you to read the great authors - J I Packer, A W Tozer, C S Lewis, Brother Lawrence, John MacArthur, and the Bible as part of your venture into intimacy with the Lover of Our Souls.  As you read, ask Him all the questions that occur to you, expecting to hear the answer within a couple of weeks if not immediately.

"Practicing the Presence of God" is a collection of letters the 12th century monk, Brother Lawrence, wrote to friends and acquaintences.  One of the main things I learned from him was that I could keep God with me at all times.  I could stay in conversation with Him when I'm walking or driving somewhere, when I'm washing the dishes, when I'm programming computers at work (He helps me figure out how to design, write and debug programs!).  Everything you wonder about wonder to Him. 

Memorize one verse a week that sticks out to you when you read the Bible.  Some will stay with you forever.  But the main thing I enjoy about scripture memory is that it helps to start developing a scaffolding for what the book I'm in is all about - what the author is trying to say to us.

A relationship with God is like a relationship with any other person.  It requires time, attention, and communication.  Have at it and watch your life grow fuller as your relationship with our Father and Forgiver, our Rescuer/Redeemer gets closer and closer!

I getcha. At times I was a little uncomfortable admitting that I was Christian. But it's nothing to be ashamed of. I've learned that it doesn't matter what people think, and they have no right to think differently of you just because of your religion.

Being in high school, it's tough for me, since my teenage peers all judge by appearance and whether or not someone is "cool" enough. But I believe if you truly want a better relationship with God, he will give it to you. :o

Edit: I also pray when I'm thankful for something. I don't think you have that one on the list? Hehe.

Wow, I can totally relate. Every once in a while I get into this awesome zone where I feel super close with God, but other times I feel like I don't need Him or like I only pray for convenience. Whenever I'm having a "dark week" I like to go out in the world and take in all the beauty. I was having a pretty crummy week, but I went to the airport to pick up some relatives. There's probably no place else where you can experience as much joy and love as you can at an airport. Obviously you can't just..hang out in airports, but anywhere - the park, the mall, your backyard even. You can find beauty in every part of this world if you're really searching for it. I think this helps because it's just a reminder of how beautiful and full of love this world is, and how much God really loves us and how He shares the beauty of his creation with us. We really are blessed.

p.s. I think it's awesome of you to be so honest and post this. We all need help from time to time. God bless.

Weirdly enough we were just talking about something similar to this in a house group this week.  Many people become tired/lethargic throughout their normal working day that when it comes to attending meetings etc or even taking a quiet moment through the day to read the bible and pray etc we push it aside even though it should be on of the most important parts of our day and week.

But when you do make that effort, attend the meeting or make time in the day to work on your relationship with God we do feel better for it.  You go to a meeting not really wanting to be there and by the end of it, you forget all about those feelings because someone said something which encouraged you or spoke to the particular situation your going through.

I think what your going through everyone goes through at some point or other.  A few months back i found myself at a point where I was pretty much holding on by the tips of my fingers to my christian life.  Sort of like coming to a crossroads and having to make the decision to do something or nothing.  Doing nothing wouldn't change anything but keep me in the slump I was going through and heading nowhere, or doing something I could at least see where that path would take me.

So I started making an effort and it isn't as hard as people may think.  I think perhaps we think something HUGE has to happen in order for our relationship with God to get going, but it's just simple things that make it work.  I started making the effort to picking up my bible and reading everyday, within days I saw changes in my life that weren't there before. Simple things like the fact I was waking up happier, started to walk to work so I could listen to some worship music on my ipod before I got there (and found myself much less stressed within work).  The bible is the food of our spiritual life, I eat and drink everyday in order for my physical life to survive, so I should be reading my bible everyday to feed that spiritual life within me.

My pastor told us once that we should prove God in our lives.  We can be so determined that we aren't going to get anywhere so why even try? God is saying try, and prove me wrong that when you make an effort nothing changes.  Because things do change, we just need to see past that barrier in front of our eyes saying 'don't bother because nothing will work'.

I understand your situation, I have believed in god for more than ten years. I experienced many frustration. I did not have close relationship with him when i was immature.

However, i realize that i have to completely trust him. i need to pray , read bible and share my feeling with him everyday. After reading the bible, i will write down my feeling on my notebook and pray to the lord. Then, you will find that your life is full of his love and care. Also, i ask the god to forgive me if i did something wrong. We have to obey his words as well. God bless you.