Thursday, 26 June 2008

• Never Too Spiritually Strong

  from paul

  I remember our pastor telling us that it is hard to tell where we are spiritually. Even when we think we are spiritually strong, we can be far from God. Sometimes I think I am spiritually strong and judge others for not being as obedient to God as I. I can think of many times when I have easily fallen into sin after thinking I was spiritually strong. I end up humbled again before God, asking for forgiveness once again when just a day or even hours ago I was thinking to myself that I was spiritually fit enough to resist sinning.

  So Sunday, I thought I was spiritually strong. The next day, I felt like I was far from God. I didn't want to pray, didn't want to do my quiet time or even log onto revelife. Nor did I want to listen to any worship songs. It felt weird. Where was my discipline? Where was my "fit" spirit? I used the excuse of being tired from Sunday basketball practice to not do my qt...how lame and weak. Monday, I was unmotivated to do anything and I ended up watching a Korean sitcom for the whole day basically. I felt really lost during that time. What was I doing with myself?

  I started off my Tuesday by driving my mom to the train station at around 7:30 AM. While driving back, I thought about what I would do for the rest of the day. Maybe go back to sleep? Watch tv? Eat? I came home and brought out my laptop and decided to just check Facebook out of boredom. As usual there was really nothing to do on Facebook, but I do have a daily Bible verse feature on my profile, so I decided to check the verse for the day. This is what it was:

  For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess. - Deuteronomy 30:16

  I decided right then that there was no avoiding it - I needed to have my quiet time with God. The reflection today was the difference between puppy love and real sacrificial love. Puppy love is the positive emotional affection you feel towards people when you feel good and sacrificial love is based on the well being of others. I thought about how my love towards people was indeed puppy love. I only wanted to help when I felt good or I only showed a smile when I felt good. I wanted to be more like Jesus by showing love in everything I do. I wanted God to shine through my actions, speech, and facial appearance. But I was failing. I didn't have the joy of God in my face. I didn't show the love of God in my actions. I didn't speak with words of God.

  Me? Spiritually strong? How could I ever think such a thing? Indeed, I was far from God and am still far from God. I'm just a child spiritually. Right now as I write this I feel far from God. I want to get closer and know God so much more. I want to live by the truth and behave in ways that are pleasing to God. I keep learning not to be arrogant spiritually but to keep in mind that I will never be spiritually fit because there will always be something more to learn from God. No one is better than anyone else. We are all sinners and never can measure up to the glory of God.

  Have you ever overestimated your power to resist sin?

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