Thursday, 26 June 2008
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What the bleep?
by mr. pine "What the...."
Which word you insert after those two words? I usually say "freak" when I'm around people who've never heard me curse, but lately I've been using the word "crap" for some unknown reason. What's bad is when I get caught in between the two and wind up saying, "What the frap!!" - like I got the wrong order at Starbucks or something. I have a friend who used to combine "What the Hell!" with "Holy Cow!" to make the less offensive combination of "What the Cow!" But there was a time in my life where I would have used the full-blown, high-octane words there without even a second thought.
I've been thinking about this lately because this past Friday at work, the 'sh** hit the fan' with one of the projects and there was a possibility we might lose a very lucrative contract. When people were calling me asking for an explanation, the simplest thing I could think of to say was... "the sh** hit the fan"... but I wanted to not be rude, so I'd say... "the crap hit the fan." But I felt that these words fell short of describing the situation to the fullest extent. So as the day progressed and ran deep into the night, my words migrated over to the the more profane words. It just seemed more appropriate.
What's funny is that the day started with my father asking me to call a man with whom he had been arguing over not delivering something he bought from him on eBay. My father had tried to talk with him the previous day but didn't get far because of the language barrier. As the debate got heated he described the guy as being verbally abusive to him. I believe my dad's words were, "He kept saying to me f***, f***, f***, f***!!!" At first, the sound of my father trying to curse in his Korean accent was just too funny, but then I started getting a little angry that someone could be so disrespectful to him.
So why do some of us curse? Some people say that it just feels good. I remember seeing something on TV where they actually took brain scans of people who were subjected to hearing a series of words with curses peppered among them. They said that the curse words triggered a different part of their brain that was more associated with emotions and primal instincts. I believe it. I know that there is a bit of a mental jerk when I hear someone curse... especially someone I don't expect to hear that from.
So what's so bad about cursing? Aren't curses just words? I'm not sure. I think that people curse to elicit an emotional response. So in a way, it's a little manipulative. I know that when I do it, it's to add a little emphasis to it without having to use too many extra words. But is it beneficial in the long run? Is God glorified by it? Obviously not. In fact, Colossians 4:5,6 it says, Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Now, note here that it doesn't say "act fake or holier-than-thou with your words" or to "clean up your words so that people will know you have a pure heart." It's not prohibitive. It's proactive. What it's saying is that you should be so busy blessing people with your words (and the Good News) that there's no room for the other stuff. But if in your heart you wish harm on others or disdain them, the words you do or don't say are the least of your worries.
Do your curse when you speak? Does it bother you when other people curse?
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Comments (64)
i try not to, but there's always the occasional slip-up when i'm really
stressed, angry or taken by surprise. i do my best to avoid it around
people who don't like it out of respect for them and i never use it
towards somebody as a curse on them. i think censoring yourself can get
just as bad because most people know what word your replacing, so in
turn, it's like saying the word. i'm not a big fan of the f-bomb at
all. i don't say it and i don't like hearing it. it just sounds so
harsh an disrespectful, especially considering that it's a derogatory
term for something that is biblical, the same goes with G*dd**n and
Jesus as a profanity. it just bothers me. and as long as they aren't
taking the Lord's name in vain, it isn't every other word and aren't
being disrespectful, it's fine. but i think, ultimately, the choice is
up to each individual.
It's interesting to read all of this, because I live in France and am trying to raise two small children. Here people use what I consider to be curse words a great deal, and my kids (4 and 6) are already bringing them home. I make it very clear, in no uncertain terms, that I do not want to hear those words in my home. I also know that the adults at school don't use them. But I don't know how to educate them when practically all their friends are swearing...
@hubbaduh@xanga - Amen!! Lemmee shake your hand!
If it's the intent behind the words, if you won't sat the obvious "bad" words, then in keeping with the spirit of the thing, you shouldn't be replacing the words with different ones either. The intent would be the same if you said heck or darn or bologna. It would be just as bad.
If it's just the words, well, it's corrupt speech according to the Bible (someone quoted the verse above). If you aren't sure what makes it corrupt, then do some homework. You can not base your view on modern acceptability, or cultural norms. You'd have to get some history ad background about it. There are generally reasons they have been considered unacceptable and called "curse" words throughout the ages past. People need to stop basing their decisions on what they think or feel and start finding out what's true and right. In the light of God's eternity and His truth, your little opinion isn't really worth too much. Not a popular concept in todays culture, but I doubt God is upset about that.
Find out and then see what God's Word says about it. Then make your decision. Me? I don't cuss because I believe it is wrong and corrupt.
If you really aren't sure, and willing to admit you don't know... err on the side of caution. Don't do it. Why risk your Christian witness.
I think it has a lot to do with how you're raised. For example, when I was younger, it was a very bad thing to say "Oh my G-d" because that was taking the Lord's name in vain. But I could go right ahead and say "Oh my damn" (or more accurately omudamn) and it wasn't a big deal. However, when I said that in front of a churchmember one time, the lady got very angry. The brain scans that indicate different parts of the brain are tapped when using "certain words" is very subjective, and has more to do with either the fact that people are far less likely to "swear" in a normal setting- you don't often hear someone calmly say "oh F***, this is a good cookie"- or because they view the word as taboo. And these brain scans were performed by having the test subjects either read or repeat a list of words- not the most common setting for dropping the F bomb. I myself still feel uncomfortable taking the Lord's name in vain, or using vulgar words (F, P, and C are my personal barriers), but others that many people consider to be swears, I just view as another word, often times a word I don't use out of respect for others.
I think a more accurate verse to apply hear is not to allow any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only that which is helpful for building up others (ephesians 4:29) coupled with Romans 14:21, which suggests that even if it is not a sin or wrong in our eyes, if someone else views it as such, we shouldn't do it, save in the privacy of our own homes.
i don't curse when i speak, ever. i don't even use candy cuss words or substitutes. very rarely will i say "freak" or "flip." i don't get mad often, and i have better words to express myself than that.
i don't like it when people curse, it's pointless.
I agree that words themselves are not evil, but Christians should never say anything that would offend and hurt others.
I am possibly giving the shortest answer here... I usually say "f**k" at the end of that tirade. I have nothing against cursing, just you know, at least use it creatively or as if it's a part of your everyday language lol.
It depends on who I'm around. I try very hard not to curse in front of my parents because they don't appreciate cuss words. I don't curse in front of my more religious friends. If I meet someone for the first time, I try not to curse because I don't know if it will offend them or not.
Around my close friends, however, I cuss quite a bit. I know it doesn't offend them, and it certainly does not offend me when they curse. I do think there are really inappropriate places to cuss though--especially around young children. I see a lot of teenagers and 20-year-olds cussing really loudly on purpose in public (probably trying to look oh-so-uber-cool). I think that's really obnoxious.
I don't care if people cuss or not around their friends. I'm not one to judge--cussing is a large portion of my everyday speech. I do, however, get annoyed when people do it purposefully around people they know will be offended. That's just rude and immature.
At the same time, I get irritated at people who say it makes someone look unintelligent. As if saying "frick" or "heck" or "shoot" or any other euphemisms makes you look like some kind of genius. /sarcasm
i believe cursing emphasizes emotions
I don't swear too much,Only if something is REALLY annoying me but ,What I can't understand is why my parents swear around me and my brother,But scold us if we use them...I don't know my parents are strange like this,My mom and my dad don't like us using the word ''Crap''
and give me annoyed looks if I say ''Freakin' Freaking ,Effing freak''
but my parents swear my dad trys to cover it not my mother to much
I curse. A lot. Thankfully, I usually just do it when I'm muttering to myself. I really don't care if other people curse around me; I've been around f-bombs ever since I was a little girl. The only time I care is when cursing gets hurtful, like if it's directed at someone.
You know, although this passage refers to oaths in the context of promises, it may still be a good thing to throw into the discussion.
Jesus' words in Matthew 5, especially verse 37:
34But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; 35or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. 36And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.
Besides, how in the world are people going to know we are Christians if even our words are constantly filthy? I don't want to be hypocritical- I slip up with this, too... but I think this is one area where it's good to be different from the average sailor.
I say 'crap' way to much...and I have a 2 1/2 year old who picks up on everything (see my post from yesterday about him saying 'dammit' on a regular basis). Thankfully that's the about the worst he hears out of my mouth...'crap,' 'dammit,' and 'hell.' On occasion, I'll utter 'frag' which is about as close to the f-word as I'll get. I'm not a curser and I don't like being around people who curse a lot for no reason - just saying it for the sake of saying it, not being angry or something, ya know? At least if you're angry it makes a little more sense. I dunno.
To answer your first question, I usually say "What the crap?" "What the heck?" or "What the moo cow?" (which also goes along nicely with "holy moo cows!" - I think I like your friend you mentioned already).
I curse more than I should but not just because I can. If something happens that stresses me out, I'll usually curse rather than explaining the situation. But it depends on who's around... I'd never curse in front of kids or anyone that doesn't know me... or my parents. I can't bring myself to do it in front of my parents, which is hard sometimes! But like they say, there's a time and a place for everything right???
i luv cursing!!!!!!!!! it's like after i say the f word i feel happier and relieved and like the problem has been solved! i feel good after cursing!
Sometimes I do, but it's usually on accident and connected with a great emotion [like the other day I ran into a spider web and saw it was a black widow's and I yelled sh** because I was so scared]. In one way, I think cursing can be wrong, like when directed at someone, but then again, it's not too terribly bad to me. I think people who curse obsessively need to cut down, but every once in a while, if used in the right situation, I may let it slide. For the most part though, I think you should try to replace it with a better word that's not as offensive to people. It also looks bad to non-believers if you're cursing up a storm, and not letting your words be full of grace and love.
I actually do curse a little more than I should. But to be honest I have been making a conscious effort to eliminate curse words from my everyday vocabulary all together. I have a friend who has never cursed a day in her life; she just doesn't see the point. I applaud her for that. She's actually the one who made me want to stop cursing. :)
I can't say I have ever really been bothered by others cursing around me, even when it's in excess. I just find them to be really lame that they can't find a better word to use than profanity. But I guess if you really can't find a word, it's all you can do.
i curse. but i am respectful of others and won't curse if i'm around someone who may bet offended. usually, i am not offended by hearing cursing but it offends me when people curse around people that they shouldn't - like an older person, a member of some type of clergy, etc. i absolutely hate when kids curse around adults. i never cursed around adults, even if they were strangers.
I curse casually around my friends, but not excessively.... I actually find "Oh My G**" more offensive than swearwords, but that's just me. I'm not a fan of immense swearing (ie, like television and lyrics) but I will say I do it a bit. As for it, I wouldn't do it around others whom would find it offensive or whom I don't even know at all, that's just rude.
As for " What the ...." I usually fill it in with, "What the poop?!" heh.
Blessings!
You may tame a tiger but may God tame your tongue (see James 3). God is sovereign and freely extends His grace to all mankind who are made in His image. Therefore, it's always out of place for a Christian to wish evil on anyone or to show discontent. Cursing doesn't require us to choose from a list of off limits words. God doesn't give us such a list, our culture just made one up. All words have meaning. What makes a Latin based word more righteous than a purely English one? What's the difference if fertilizer contacts the rotating oscillator or shit hits the fan? If that's how it is then it is. How then can we give glory to God? It's easy to change a choice of words. It's another matter to change the heart they come from.
Growing up with hearing the words it's easier to apply them to your vocabulary. But every since I've been a Follower, I've tried to delete them. This has caused me to 'jerk' every time I hear a word that is profane. It's the chalk scratching on the chalkboard. The constant drip of water from the tap.
It's also unecessary. There are abundant words in the English language, we shouldn't have to express ourselves with the profane. "Ouch!" "UGH!" "AHHHH" work very well alone.....
Besides, I was taught a lesson about it. If you are even using slang words for curse words was deemed as using the curse word. If you said "freakin'" well, you said "fuckin'" it meant the same thing, didn't it?
The person I learned this would look at some one who had just used a slang/curse and ask "Would you please not use that word?"
and if they got defensive or used an excuse like "well, I just get so used to saying it I don't know if I would be able not to use it." she would just reply "Well then. Every time you say 'freakin' i'm going to yell FUCK in your face. Because when you say it, that's what I hear."
And she'd say that very kindly too.
They never cursed in front of her again =)
Sometimes. I try not to or I watch what I say around certain people.
word are words. there are words that are inappropriate in situations. but that includes sex and dick and pussy. but words aren't bad. just inappropriate for some situations. like how you wouldn't talk about you sex life to your grandma.
i dont curse, i usually say damn, what the hell, and what the freak, but this tends to be the strongest language i use.