Wednesday, 25 June 2008
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God's purpose for Christian Men: a High Bar
I was reading le_meme_chose's post about God's Purpose for Christian Women and began to think about God's purpose for Christian Men. First of all - I always found the word 'feminist' to be a funny word cause of male alternative - 'masculinist.' Masculinist just sounds like a type of magician and ventroliquist mashed together. Any event - I've heard a bunch of parochial statements from my jovial Christian brothers saying that men should be the head of the household, that all final decisions are for the man, and the remote control (symbol of all control in the household) is forever attached to the man's hand. But after I got married - this is far from the truth. Let's back up a little here and check out the Bible (which i affectionately think really stands for Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth).
The ever so famous verse that comes to mind says this: "Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave him himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with the water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkles or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."
I have to say I've read this countless times and just nodded my head and moved on - but brothers, really read this. I mean carefully. Check out how high the standards are! Love your wife as much as Christ loved the church.... uh...could the bar be any higher? It's like how I would bring a test with an A home and my Asian parents would ask "Why not A+?" And let's not forget the giving yourself up, making her holy (I have trouble making myself remotely holy!), cleansing her with the Word, etc etc etc.
And this is where I am - once I got married I realized the burden is on me - that my decision to marry my beautiful wife is also a calling to uphold her to the highest, to respect her, to love her fully. In ways, I began to realize that I'm called to be her servant - to be the Jesus that got down on his knees to wash his disciples' feet. So in ways - some of my brothers were right. We are called to be leaders of our household, but not in the way we would normally think - but how Jesus lead. Through complete giving, sacrifice, and pure love. *Sigh* - still a long ways to go, but working at it.
I think one of the best ways to put it was when Spider-Man's aunt said 'a man has to be understanding and put his wife before himself.' Thanks Aunt May.
What do you think it means for man to be the leader of the household?
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Comments (30)
Okay, gender roles... I'm just not sure how I feel about them! I appreciate your attention to my comments and I hope you will explain to me again. A gender role is something that is expected of a person based on whether he or she is female or male. Why does this have to matter? Does personality necessarily hang on whether one is male or female? I personally hope for a man who is understanding and dominating in the right way, but at the same time I know males who are rather submissive. That is just the way they are. Simply because of their sex, do they have to learn a new behavior? Or would it be okay for them to accept a wife who is more adept at decision-making? You have offered me no reason to accept my position of subordinance, instead comparing my question with one of homosexuality, which I do not support. Perhaps you will ask why I don't support it, if I am not sure how I stand on this other issue. Well, I think that man and woman were made for each other - however, I am not sure that man was 'made' to dominate. As a woman, I feel rather like the above described; I want to serve my future husband with all of his interests before mine. I am so prepared to love him intensely. I also think that he will be a human and thus fallible, that perhaps I might discover a better course of action than he does at some point.
If men are not better than women, why are men the leaders? Then again, perhaps that is just the way things must be, even if I do not understand God's will. I just honestly wish there was something you could tell me to make me feel better about it and not feel under-represented by God. I do not wish to undermine anyone; I want my possible future marriage to be as good as God can make it. I just want to understand, really. Also, I do not appreciate the sarcasm with the "homosexual and lesbian couples 'work' too" comment - I am asking humbly, and I hope you respond with kindness. Just tell me that you do not think it works. Thank you.
@ScarletRiver@xanga - I think some people don't understand that the concept of "gender roles" is becoming antiquated. (So says my psychology professors, anyway.) I'm married and I very much like it that my husband is sensitive (a traditionally feminine trait) over agressive (a traditionally masculine trait). I actually think men and women can benifit from learning traits that are traditionally of the opposite sex!
I aslo find it funny that some men on here seem really paranoid that women who want to be seen and treated as equal are actually just out to usurp power from men! This is so not the case.
@KechiNeko244@xanga - Thank you, your reply was much appreciated. I agree that the concept of gender roles in society is becoming antiquated, but I am not sure that the Biblical teachings are ever antiquated. Then again, there are many interpretations of the Bible, and I am not sure what to take literally and what to take with a grain of salt and say that it was merely because of the times, that things were so.
I agree with the paranoia. I am not out to usurp anyone; I just want things to be as fair as we can make them. I want to be treated with respect and love from my fellows, as I want to treat them.What do you think of the concept of gender roles as described by the Bible, if I may ask? Do we ignore the direct order to submit?@ScarletRiver@xanga - Well, I disagree with "gender roles" inasmuch that men MUST act a certain way while women MUST act a different way. For instance, not all women are emotional or nurturing. Not all men are agressive or possess leadership qualities. And I am a Christian, and I do submit to my husband. However, it's not like he makes all the decisions and I just have to live with it. I'm involved in the decision-making process in our home. I do, however, struggle with whether or not I'm to spend the rest of my life as a housewife (some argue that the Bible calls women to be homemakers only), or if I am allowed to have a career and a family and still be on the right track with God. We'll see, since there aren't any children involved yet and there hopefully won't be for a few more years. I'm a pretty young bride and I don't really feel emotionally ready for children quite yet.
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