Tuesday, 24 June 2008
-
God: Missing in Action
On two separate occasions, I've talked to a couple of old friends who've put their relationship with God on hiatus. When I asked them why they stopped having faith in God, they gave me the same answer: "When I needed Him the most, He wasn't there." It wasn't as if they were expecting God to solve their problems, either - all they wanted was some kind of reassurance that things would be okay or that they needed to be more patient. If anything, they wanted to know that God was in the background while they suffered. Still, God remained silent and elusive, and so they fought their battles alone. At the time, I gave the pat "just because you couldn't feel God doesn't mean He wasn't there" answer, but during my own low period, I found myself thinking the same thing. Not too long ago, a couple of people that meant a lot to me ended up hurting me really badly. Unable to deal with the anger, I surrendered my emotions to God and He answered by instructing me to release them from their debt - to forgive them, which I did, or at least tried to do. While the first person and I had cut our relationship cold turkey, I'd at least try and refrain from spreading dirt (and boy, did I have a LOT of it) about that person - and for awhile, I would smile back at the person (who had the guts to smile at me first!!!) when we would awkwardly run into each other in the cafeteria. Did I feel better? No! I talked to a priest, prayed for hours at church, resisted telling my friends this person's darkest secrets - still nothing! When the second person hurt me, I forgave her and took her back as a friend - which she told me she was surprised that I did - but as time went on, things became so conflictual that I feel as if only the grace of God can restore that friendship, or perhaps help it grow from what it is now.
For awhile, I felt really bothered that God didn't hold up His end of the deal.
I read I Peter, which says that it's normal to suffer for doing the right thing/God's will, but that was like hearing "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" on a really bad day. Reading a verse was not enough. I wanted results!
I'll acknowledge that God poured out His blessings - He gave me jobs, grades, more friends, activities, great professors, things like that - but it just felt like He wasn't actually there during days I felt really down. It was kind of like having an absent parent - it's one thing to receive gifts, cards, and money in the mail, but what kids really want is just for the parent to spend time with them.
When I'd all but given up hope for my relationship with God, I started feeling His presence again. It wasn't as if I'd done anything to lure Him back (as if that's even possible) - one night, almost out the blue, I just felt that "burst" - after a long time of not praying, I prayed those same things and forgave those people all over again, and now...it's actually working.
Then, last night, I came across the story of Lazarus' resurrection. Honestly, I still can't wrap my head around the fact that Jesus waited until Lazarus was dead to pay him a visit. I can almost hear Martha's words echoing in my own: Lord, if you had just BEEN there....if you had just arrived sooner....I wouldn't be so bitter/angry/disappointed/dead inside! (or in Lazarus' case, actually dead.)
Of course, Jesus was sad too and He raised Lazarus from the dead. Ta-da! By letting Lazarus die, Jesus was able to resurrect him and therefore demonstrate the full scope of His power and glory. On a logical level, it makes sense and I'm actually honored that God would choose certain human beings to reveal Himself to others. Not only did Lazarus come back to life, but he came back fully healed. I see God working the same way in me. Not only did God restore a lot of the things I lost in the past, but He's given me so much MORE than I had before!
On the other hand....a part of me couldn't help but feel like God's a big megalomaniac. Did God let Lazarus die just so He could have more glory in the end? Does God like to see me suffer and feel lonely - does He push me to my limits - just so He can sweep in and save me? It didn't sound OR feel right at all.
I don't question the necessity of suffering - death, sickness, depression, and betrayal are all a part of living in a fallen world, and God uses our experiences with those things to show that there is something better out there - something that can conquer them - but my question is, why does God let us feel like we're experiencing those things alone?
Do you ever feel like God's not there?
-
recommend
- recs 2
-
share
-
email
- sent 1
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to revelife's Revelife Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in revelife's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
.jpg)
Comments (23)
Definitely. Although I remember reading a book in which it talked about how sometimes our hurt blinds us from seeing the light. I still often question why God makes us feel so alone in such a time of need, but maybe we're the ones doing it to ourselves.
I remember a year ago I was so sad because of this stupid guy. I cried out to God to save me from this depression but couldn't feel Him. I thought He was punishing me because I had traded Him in for this guy. Even as I cried out to Him I knew deep in my heart that if this guy showed up again I would trade God AGAIN. And now, a year later, I think of how naive I must have been. God hadn't left me, but to this day I question why I felt so alone. I thought that if I'd just feel God's presence I wouldn't trade Him out if this guy came back into my life. Then one day I just let this guy go and God's presence came back.
There are indeed times when I feel alone, like my prayers are bouncing off of the ceiling. I don't know why.
Maybe it's because I'm too tired to focus on Him. Maybe He's teaching me something the hard way. Maybe there's some serious spiritual warfare going on and it's really Satan making me feel like nobody's listening. Maybe it was something I ate.I don't think God enjoys those times any more than we do. It must break His heart all the more to see us suffer and sometimes even lose what trust we have in Him.There are many possible "answers" that pop into my head, but all of them sound trite.I recommend a book called "The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart of God" by Eldredge and Curtis. It does grapple with the issue and has helped me.
at times it can feel like we're facing the world on our own; even Jesus asked His Father why He had been forsaken on the cross.
but the important thing to remember is that no matter what it feels like, God is always there. praying can help, but it doesn't always produce an emotion. Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament can help a lot too, for me that's always been a very powerful experience, though i dunno whether you're Catholic, but you mentioned a priest... anyway, we as humans are very emotional beings, and we tend to rely on physical indications, especially emotions, to tell us when God is there and working within us. but it's not a very accurate measurement at all. Jesus died on the cross feeling forsaken, but look where He is now.
what we always have to keep in mind is that blessings will come in God's time, not our own, and that our idea of what would be a blessing isn't always accurate. i mean, God's gotta be sitting up there chuckling every time we pray to Him with our own feeble ideas of how things should be going. He knows better than we do, and that's why we have to trust in His will and not ours. it's difficult to acknowledge how little we really know about what's good for us and what we need. and that's why we're not allowed to run the show.
God's not being selfish by glorifying Himself. He's perfect and the only one who truly deserves all the glory. you have to believe that with all your heart. nobody can tell you exactly why you feel alone when you do, but God knows what He's doing. there's an old expression that i think says it all:
'let go and let God.'
I do, but i have faith
I don't think people can just expect God to be around when it's convenient for them. They have to want God's appearance all the time, every day, "through thick and thin".
everyone either has or will go thru a storm that will rattle and shake every spiritual fiber of their being. it could be a test or an attack. the thing is no one enjoys it, and many feel they have no help whatsoever. but after the storm you try to pick up the pieces and go on. God was there the whole time. and He is Faithful. He cannot fail us. there will come a point that something of value will come from our trials. you just keep going on and put your faith in God.
Paul said to not think it strange the fiery trial which is to try you. it is so that the testing of your faith will come forth as gold.
the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared to the glory that shall be revealed in us.
Jesus never said it would be easy. He said in the world there will be tribulation. but He overcame the world, and He is with us whether we feel Him or not.
it's in God's nature to glorify Himself... if He were to do any less, He wouldn't be God. whatever else got glory instead of Him would then be greater than Him (and we know that's not possible).
and i think one of the reasons why God lets us feel alone is so that we can better identify with other people who feel alone. i noticed that after your "alone time" you were blessed even more (praise God!), and that is such a testimony to God's faithfulness. maybe someone else will be encouraged by your story... i know i was. :)
a friend of mine once told me, "sometimes lonely times are the best times. God uses them to drive us closer to Him." so another reason would be that if we didn't know how lonely we can feel (well, as much as we do despite God's everlasting presence), we probably would not appreciate all the times He is there.
in response to your final question... yes, many times. but every time, God was faithful. :)
I have been there and then during the Lenten season I decided to focus on the aspects of the death and resurrection of Christ. God shows us that even in His perfection He was betrayed, denied, lied to, insulted, beaten, and ultimately murdered.. all this without a fight. My discovery led me to the question; where were His friends? If even Jesus' friends could do these things to Him, why wouldnt mine do even worse to me, as sinner. I cant explain why God would allow bad things to happen but I do know when bad things happen and we choose to not blame God but seek Him; He will comfort us in unexpected ways...
I hope this makes sense....
This may not apply directly to what you're saying, and no, I am not completely confident in this thought, but I feel that Satan has twisted the world into thinking that glory is a bad thing, as it has been used for self glory by men countless times. But, now that I think about it, God created us, and that's enough for me. He gave us life and meaning in them, so I believe he deserved ALL of the glory that all of us have directed towards ourselves. In the end, however, we should trust him. We are promised eternal life, and I think I can suffer the little bits of wrong things done to me.
your post really touch me, i'm having like the worst time right now. Feeling alone and insecure of God's love to me. I keep asking for some sing of Him letting me know that He is by my side, but i can't feel it, so i keep praying and telling to myself that just me been alive is a sing of His love to me.
but, i'm getting tired and there are some days that i don't pray at all.
Thanks for writing this. I've been through a lot for the past couple of years and there have been many times when I feel that God has failed me. I've invested in other people's lives, ministering to them and giving up my own needs and desires so that I can help them. In the end, these people who willingly take what I have to offer, trampled all over me just as easily.
It hurt the most this year when supposedly strong Christians who have been my bosom friends abandoned me, when something better (like a romantic partner) came along. It came to the point where I had a breakdown and had to be tranquilised. Like you, I have truckloads of dirt on them, but I forced myself to keep those dirt in the shed. They keep up their pretence of being godly Christians while spending nights together secretly, and I have to pretend to others in church I'm still friends with these Pharisees, and continue in my maid-of-honour role, so that people will not find out what they did to me.
I remembered telling God long ago that because of His amazing sacrifice for me, He doesn't have to do anything more for me and I'll still follow Him. Hmm... does He have to take what I say so literally and seriously? I'm a big-mouthed sinner after all.
But I'm going to keep on keeping on, because God is all I have, and the only Person I can trust completely, so I will wait for Him to come through. I don't need Him to punish those people, I just hope that when it's time, He will give me a relationship that is truly godly and different from what those Pharisees have. Because if their kind of selfish love is what I have to look forward to, then my faith in God will be completely shattered.
The God may not solve alll your problems immediately, but, he does stay with us. Always pray and never be discouraged.
Footprints in the Sand
One night I dreamed I was walking along the
beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from anguish,
sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints,
so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there has only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied,
“The years when you have seen only one set of footprints,
my child, is when I carried you.”
Copyright © 1984 Mary Stevenson
"There cannot be a personal God without a pessimistic religion. As soon as there is a personal God he is a disappointing God; and Job, Omar Khayyam, Euripedes, Palladas, Voltaire and Professor Housman will abuse him. With Buddhism, Taoism, Quietism, and the God of Spinoza there can be no disappointment, because there is no Appointment."~Cyril Connolly
It is difficult to have a sane and rational discussion on the topics on this sponsored site, simply because there is no gathering of the minds. All is cut and pasted from a religion that has undergone more evolution than Darwin's theory. What would make the discussion more fruitful and critical in thought, is to take the basic wisdoms from other faiths and stand them with your own. You would find the compatibility outweighs the differences. If you are not going to expand your horizon than you are not using the most basic sense that God gave geese.
May you be Blessed~
"Did God let Lazarus die just so He could have more glory in the end?"- Yes - we have to acknowledge that God is God and He deserve the glory. Our lives is all about bringing glory to God, not about us living comfortably. Sure God gives grace to live comfortably, but that's not the goal, glorifying God is the goal of a Christian.
And suffering is meant to refine us, I would say that's part of sanctification process. Keep on going :)
hi! thanks for posting on this topic. i have quite a few friends struggling with this recently and have struggled with it in the past as well.
a song that has really encouraged me was barlow girl's never alone: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77ge-e-7P_I&feature=related
perhaps sometimes God lets us feel alone from him, so that we can learn faithfully follow him, depend on him and realize that feeling isn't all there is. i've found that sometimes after trying to truly obey God he when he doesn't seem to be around, it allows him to show himself, sometimes much later in a more quiet and powerful way.
@cynthia
I agree. We always want some sign from God that He is there for us. Sometimes, I check this blog, thinking God's going to reveal something big to me. Other times, I expect to walk down the street and see a billboard or a sign. We all expect some sort of epiphany. If life were about God revealing Himself in the most overt ways, though, then being spiritual and a son or daughter of God would be much easier. Heck, living would be much easier.
You have to meet Him halfway. The funny thing is He has always been at the halfway point, waiting patiently for you. At our best moments, we are at that halfway point, rejoicing with Him. At our worst moments, we are at the opposite end, praying that God comes and fetches us. He hates to see us at these moments, yet we grow spiritually the most during these moments. We have to find our way back to the halfway point. His benevolence and love and our volition are what ultimately bring us back to this halfway point.
Praying and adoration are definitely two ways to return to this halfway point but are not the only ways. Making sacrifices – whether it is through time, money, commitments, friends, family, et cetera – is another way. If you feel that praying is not helping as much as it should, seek additional avenues. Volunteer at your church or in your local community. Put aside some money every month to give to those less fortunate. Reduce the amount of time you commit to a certain activity if it interferes with your spiritual life and/or family life. (I needed and still need to do this!) Spend more time with the ones you love.
One final thought … at my worst moments, I remind myself of how fortunate I am to be alive as one of His followers, like you. I thank God for every step I take, for every breath I take because those two could be my last. Realizing that God is there during those moments is an overwhelming feeling. Do not ever lose hope!
God bless you! =)
This is also a good read if you're wondering the part about God doing everything for His own glory.
http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/1275_Why_It_Matters_That_God_Does_Everything_for_His_Own_Glory/
"...but my question is, why does God let us feel like we're experiencing those things alone?"
You are alone, simple as that. God is there as well, but to think that he is willing to embody himself/herself in you is a silly notion. God is there to watch you make your choices & mistakes; to observe you in your highest and lowest points. He is impartial, because it is up to you to use the divinity which has been buried deep inside of you from Him. God is steady, constant, and fair. People have to die so that others may live, relationships must end for new ones to begin, and people have to fail to learn how to win -- keep this reality in mind and you'll find a much healthier relationship with not only yourself but with God.
.02
nol.
I'm going through this right now. I can't seem to feel God... I haven't felt him for a while...really felt him like I used to. When I pray it feels like I am talking to myself, or the prayers are bouncing off the ceiling. When i read the bible verses it feels as though its "habit". i dont know how to break this spiritual dryspell.
Can someone please help me? I don't know why but i feel very alone...without God.
I'm not particularly going through a rough time in my life but I am going through a transformation--i'm learning about the real world. I'm learning more about myself. But somehow, I feel like God isn't with me. I know he is. I know this from the bible & from my friends Christian counsel.
is there anything you guys do to reignite that spark...to feel the warmth of His embrace again?
...please comment me.
Thanks.
@Issie - you go girl. makin me smile --and God knows i need it..@justmysecretspace9@xanga - i can't do much - but listen...
I don't feel like I can really comment on this, because while my life has not been perfect, I don't think I've ever had serious trials, or at least not where I felt God deserted me. But it's good to read your thoughts on it since you have gone/are going through it, and I really like the Lazarus comparison.