Tuesday, 24 June 2008
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God's Purpose for Christian Women
I know a pastor's wife (who shall remain unnamed) who believes that her role is to be a homemaker/housewife. She used to have a good job for a major fortune 500 company, but decided that God was calling her to be at home. So the other day, she spoke to my newlywed sister about what she believes is the role of women. She thinks that women are supposed to be housewives at home while the man goes out and works to provide for his family. She also believes in homeschooling and doesn't think the public school system is the right way to go. (my sister teaches 5th grade at a public school.) So she proceeds to ask my sister if she's considered all of this and suggests that perhaps my sister doesn't know or understand her role as a wife. She also goes on to say that she feels that her ministry at home often has priority over her husband's ministry in the church (he's a youth pastor).
Anyway, it got me thinking about the woman's role in our society today and whether or not it coincides with God's purpose for women. I would not label myself a feminist by any means; however, I don't think that my place is in a home for the rest of my life. I will no doubt take care of my family, but I don't think God is calling me to be a stay at home mom. God gave me gifts to use and I would like to be able to use those talents to serve Him in and outside my home. Likewise, one day when I have children, I want to teach them to use their gifts to go out and serve God the way He has called them to.
I wonder what the pastor's wife thinks about the young women in our church who are going to school to receive higher degrees. I sometimes think she sees us as feminists or anti-God, as if going to school to get an education made us seem like we wanted a role reversal in the home. On the contrary, I want to marry a man of God who will lead the home and I will be his support.
What do you think? Is God's purpose for women to be housewives?
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Comments (134)
@hazeL_eyed_mami08@xanga - as traditional as that sounds, i definitely agree. if we were to look at that from a world's point of view, people would say that view is ancient, that women are equal to men, etc. I think God made women for a purpose, to support the man and be the other half that he isn't. That is why when you get married, it's two becoming one. you now complete each other. I always tell my boyfriend (who is a musician) that when I get a great job one day, I will build him a studio so that he can do what God has called him to do. there's definitely that balance that God created us for, even if it's not what others think it should be.
@hazeL_eyed_mami08@xanga - thank you. we just have to remember that what we do and how the people of the world define us (housewife, stay at home mom, working mom, etc.) is not who we are. We have to always keep first and foremost in our minds who we are in Christ.
to the best of my knowledge there is nothing in the Bible that requires married women to stay at home. however, it is made clear that the role of a woman is to care for her children and to do all she can to keep her family together. stay at home moms tend to be more capable of the kind of selflessness it takes to carry this out faithfully. so while it's not a requirement, it should be encouraged for the most part. if a woman has a career, part of her time must be spent on her career, which leaves less time remaining for the family.
but it is kind of a case-specific issue, because everyone's family situation is different. depending on everyone's schedules and the type of career the woman holds, it's certainly possible for the woman to fulfill her God-given role as a mother and simultaneously her chosen role in the workplace. it's up to you to make that decision for yourself. however, it's important to remember that the call to be a mother is imposed upon you by God and the call to have a career is not. so if your career has any negative effects on your family or inhibits your ability to care for your children in any way, then it's getting in the way of what God has called you to do. simple as that.
about public schools:
they really are full of all sorts of nasty children, and that's why Christians need to send their kids there. they need to live in the real world, and homeschooling or private schools tend to shelter too much. kids need to be exposed to evil in order to know it when they encounter it. the place to surround them with holiness is in the home.
in the words of Father John Corapi, "if you want your children to lose faith, send them to a private school. if you want your children to have to defend their faith, send them to public school."
I think a woman's first priority (after following God's will) is to her family and a husband's first priority is to lead his family the way Christ leads the church. I have very traditional beliefs for family because of personal convictions as well as the absence of my own parents due to their desire for money. I also think there has been a decline in the importance of family--kids are learning values from the streets instead of from the home and, well, the streets don't provide the best values to hold on to as believers. I must stop my input here to keep from getting to controversial, but God does give us free will and we have to interpret the scriputes for ourselves and heed his call on our individual lives. I am definitely not one to condemn another person for their choices in life.
Thanks for your post!
If you want to know what's God's purpose for a woman is, go back to the beginning.
God created the woman to be the man's helper (Gen. 2:18).
It doesn't mean she's a tool for the man or a subordinate to him, but that the woman's purpose is to help the man to fulfill his purpose - so whether it be working side-by-side in ministry with him or be a stay-at-home mom for their kids while he's serving the Lord or be working in the secular world to be a financial support for his ministry....... I think that's why your youth pastor's ministry isn't going so well is because he isn't getting the support that he needed.
God created the woman to help the man in areas he is not capable of, just like how God sent the Holy Spirit as our Helper when we can't do things ourselves.
I'm sure there are a lot of Bible verses out there that speaks to a woman to be a stay-at-home mom - but that's God's revelation for her. If another Christian woman doesn't get that revelation from His Word, then you can't blame her for following what God has revealed to her about her life. That's the awesome part about God's Word - it's alive
You are a feminist. You just don't realize it. As a Christian, I believe we have to understand what is happening in our society. The world is trying to force us to making choices that are unhealthy spiritually, mentally, physically, and relationally, among others.
And using the 'gifts' you say God has given you does not justify the damage that can be done to your children by doing so.
I am not saying that all women need to be barefoot and pregnant (one of feminsts' favorite catchphrases from the 80's) nor that they should not work at all necessarily. I don't believe that a woman's talents or intelligence should be wasted. On the contrary.
But our talents are often the result of traits that are passed down from subsequent generations based on the choices, skills and actions of our parents... But in general, the most basic form of talents, such as masculine and feminine gender-specific traits, are hard-wired into us. So, in order to sow into a whole new set of traits, you are neglecting the ones God has already given you, regardless of how geared you are toward them. It seems that so many women today are only concerned with utilizing and especially expanding their potential rather than being concerned with the effects that has on their relationships, and their children.
Children learn by example. So if a girl sees her mother as the leader in the home, chances are pretty good she's going to develop those traits herself. And if she sees her father as the submissive, she will think that her husband should be likewise.
And if a boy sees his dad being submissive, again, there's a very good chance he will develop some feminine traits, develop insecurity and lack in self-confidence, -which is in large part based on our security in our sexual identity.
Women can say whatever they like, yes, a man should be sensitive to and care about his wife's needs and desires, and vice versa. However, any woman will tell you that they also need a man who is also strong, capable, and masculine.
proverbs 31... it is really, really powerful.
but it could be interpreted in so many ways...
one of my old pastors once talked to me about this issue. it was an ongoing argument that we had. i am not a feminist by any means, but i guess i was the odd and radical woman in my conservative church. he told me that it was important that the woman should stay home and raise the children. he also mentioned (and so did his wife) that homeschooling was probably the ideal way of educating your children.
i understand that for some people that sounds fine and dandy, but when my pastor told me these things...i felt like i was being suffocated. he told me i should pick one--either medical school(which i'm thinking of pursuing after i finish up college) or being a mother and a wife. i probably couldn't have both...
should women who are trying to be godly really have to pick?! =/
thank you for writing this, by the way! i've enjoyed reading everyone's comments =)
To me, Mandalou89 hit the nail right on the head. =D Exactly what I would say. =]
I think it depends on the woman and what God's plan is for her. For me I don't feel God calling me to be a housewife but a missionary. If God gave us talents than we are supposed to use those talents in serving Him. Some talents for women have nothing to do with being a housewife. So I believe it all has to do with what God wants for His daughter.
I believe the Lord's purpose for a woman is first to be a beautiful, selfless woman.... turning those qualities into a nurturing, caring mother.... that being said, for my future, I have no desire to be a stay at home mother. I will indeed spend much time caring for my home and caring for my husband and our children..... but for me, there is always much more a woman can do.
My desire has always been to teach and for me.... caring for a family is just as important as caring for the young adults I would love to teach in the future.... I believe it is the Lord's purpose for a woman to be strong and independent in her own ambitions, but also to hold enough care and warmth and protection to her home as well.....
I don't appreciate feminist views, I feel their purpose of a woman is solely based upon working and getting ahead. I also do not completely agree with SAHMs whom are only focused upon their own homes. Yes, I do believe the home and the family are the core of what a woman should put her energy into.... But I also feel that a woman should not only have enough love for her family, but enough to show it to others in that same quality she shows it to her family.
To add, do I see women hindered by men if they are SAHMs? Not at all! I believe men should be dominant within a family.... not controlled, so if there are those reading this and are misinterpretting what I am saying, there is your clarification: there is indeed a difference between dominant and controlling...... I am saying a woman's purpose is to be graceful, beautiful, wise, supportive and knowledgeable toward her husband as well as her family.
This pastor's wife sounds like she needs to learn compassion. I think God's purpose for wives is to be understanding and supportive of their husbands in whatever way most blesses her own family. That might be different in my house than in her house or the pastor's house.
I think being a feminist means that a woman's options are not limited. If she feels like as a Christian woman, it is her duty to stay at home and be a housewife, then fine! More power to her.
But I firmly believe that a woman's "duties" can lay outside of the home, and that it is not anti-God. How can it be anti-God if the woman believes it is God's will for her to be a corporate executive, teacher, singer, etc..?
i wonder what this pastor's wife would think of amy carmichael and gladys aylward. neither one of them got married though they probably could have; instead they went and established orphanages in india and china. even after that, neither one of them was a "stay at home and mind the kids"-type person, though they did care deeply for the children they cared for. amy rescued child after child from the hindu temples and battled the government to keep the children out of the temples; gladys worked for the gov't as an inspector, stopped a prison almost-bloodbath, and took 100 children on a fugitive trek through the mountains.
i doubt that anyone can dismiss these women and their work.
What is God laying on your sister's heart?
Let the Holy Spirit speak!
Anyone can tell us what they think but God may use your sister as His instrument at school.
God calls women to be a "helpmeet" to their husbands. For each family that might look differently, maybe as a housewife, maybe as a woman in the work world. The pastor's wife has strong convictions that are hers, she needs to learn how to share these convictions in a non-judgmental way that leads women to examine their lives and what God would want them to do instead of fitting a pattern that someone else puts out there. The key is listening to God. Sometimes women (on both ends of the spectrum) just do what they want or what they *think* instead of really seeking God. A woman should seriously pray about what to do (along with her husband) as well as pray about how to school their children. Many just put their kids in school because that's what they do, they never have prayed about it. I believe that in both situations a person should be seeking God's will for their family. If you read the Proverbs 31 woman's life you see she had amazing power. She had authority. She bought and sold, she managed, she was given this authority by her husband and by God and she served well, keeping the house in order. Too often people belittle housewives and homemakers as "less" in some way when the reality is they are some of the most powerful workers there are.
As a feminist, I believe that women have the right to stay home with their children, to raise them up, and to homeschool. I don't believe that all women need to do those things to be effective mothers. They also have the right to choose to remain in the workforce and to earn money either with or in place of their husbands.
I wonder what she'll say to women in ministry...i am a female pastor so... how should "I" define my roles then? Am I supposed to be torn? ministry vs being a stay-at-home mom?
I believe that God places different calling/passion for different people - and it would be way too presumptuous to generalize and place all women's calling in the home...
Wow. I know so many people who think that. I'm going to college so I'm a rareity amoungst my girlfriends who are not going to college and feel that God's purpose for them is to be housewives. I personally, am amazed at how many of my friends feel "called" for this. They are mainly from large homeschooled families (I was homeschooled too and I agree it is a wonderful way to educate children, but not ideal for everyone). But that's just not what I think God wants me to do with my life.
He's given women and men gifts and talents to develop, not just to sit at home and pop out babies to look after all day. Case in point, the Proverbs 31 woman. If you really look at it, she wasn't a "stay at home mom." She was a woman of business who provided for her family. Women are much more than housewives; we're people too with as much (or more) talent and gift than men. And some women are truly called to be housewives; but not all of us.
Since I'm in college, I get a lot of the "Well, I'm trusting in the Lord to provide for me [with a husband]" when I say that I'm pursuing an education to provide for myself. I don't know my future; if God brings me a husband who can support me without having to work, great. If not, I want to make sure he and I can support ourselves.
As someone who thinks of herself somewhat as a feminist, as well as a sworn old maid (unless God brings the "perfect" guy into my life), that's my opinion.
And another thing: would it really kill a man to help raise the children he begets?
You would not label yourself a feminist? So then you don't believe in equal rights for women?
In the Bible, Jesus treats women so radically. He let a woman pour oil on his feet and wipe them with her hair. This would have been completely inappropriate in his day. Yet he praised her for it, and that example showed the male society exactly how much respect they ought to give to their women and how free they ought to be to do what they are called to do. I think women who believe they are limited to roles as housewives are looking at one or two verses and not at the whole context of the Bible, in which Jesus treats women very much as equals. He admired their intellect, and I believe that he is proud of the women who use their gifts in different ways. I think if a woman is called to be a pastor, she should be. If she is called to be a doctor and go to medical school, she should. If he calls her to be a housewife (and she's not just doing it because she believes it's mandated by the Bible), then she definitely should be. But she should never deceive herself into thinking that man-made limitations upon her calling are from God. One of my girlfriends was called to be a minister. She wanted to go to seminary to be a pastor. Her church told her that God didn't really call her--this broke her heart. And she's still paying the consequences in emotional hurt for not following her true calling. All because a guy told her what God could and couldn't call her to do.
Every woman is different. God gives us all gifts accordingly, the way we interpret and share these gifts is what ministry is about. Whether being in the home or not...What God has placed in us it is our job to share that with our kids and others. =)
I think many people make the mistake of thinking that just because God has called them to a particular thing (like being a housewife), that it is a universal, blanket truth. This is often not the case. There are biblical examples of women in ministry, so I cannot bring myself to believe that all women are called to be housewives.
In fact, I firmly believe that many women have "hidden their light under a bushel" by staying home and fulfulling the traditional gender role (which is not inherently wrong, but is not what God has for them), when they are in fact called to ministry.
God doesn't have a purpose for women, because he is imaginary. Its so silly when women say that they couldnt be happier being a slave and serving their god. Its even sillier when people say that god has a purpose for them. "Oh, I was meant to be fat, that is gods purpose for me". I have heard it all too many times.
I think that for some yes. because God calls all of us to different roles. For some women, it may be to be a housewife; for others, to bring home the bacon