Tuesday, 24 June 2008
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God's Purpose for Christian Women
I know a pastor's wife (who shall remain unnamed) who believes that her role is to be a homemaker/housewife. She used to have a good job for a major fortune 500 company, but decided that God was calling her to be at home. So the other day, she spoke to my newlywed sister about what she believes is the role of women. She thinks that women are supposed to be housewives at home while the man goes out and works to provide for his family. She also believes in homeschooling and doesn't think the public school system is the right way to go. (my sister teaches 5th grade at a public school.) So she proceeds to ask my sister if she's considered all of this and suggests that perhaps my sister doesn't know or understand her role as a wife. She also goes on to say that she feels that her ministry at home often has priority over her husband's ministry in the church (he's a youth pastor).
Anyway, it got me thinking about the woman's role in our society today and whether or not it coincides with God's purpose for women. I would not label myself a feminist by any means; however, I don't think that my place is in a home for the rest of my life. I will no doubt take care of my family, but I don't think God is calling me to be a stay at home mom. God gave me gifts to use and I would like to be able to use those talents to serve Him in and outside my home. Likewise, one day when I have children, I want to teach them to use their gifts to go out and serve God the way He has called them to.
I wonder what the pastor's wife thinks about the young women in our church who are going to school to receive higher degrees. I sometimes think she sees us as feminists or anti-God, as if going to school to get an education made us seem like we wanted a role reversal in the home. On the contrary, I want to marry a man of God who will lead the home and I will be his support.
What do you think? Is God's purpose for women to be housewives?
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Comments (134)
I don't think so. I think that in most families right now it would be a bigger help for women to have a job and a paycheck.
I highly doubt God wants us all to be housewives .... I do know that he wants us to take care of our families. That might happen in many different ways!
My mom is a pastor's wife and she has always worked but our family works just as it is with her working.
A cousin of mine decided to quit her job and look after her kids at home while her husband worked. that worked for them.
I think we all have different callings in our lives and it's not anit-God to not stay home, but we still have to remember that it is good for the children to have parents present.
@Novakana@xanga - I think that's true .... but i see a bigger issue with absent parents in the home. Children are not being monitored at home and end up getting into trouble.
God has a different purpose for everyone, and so for some women their call is to be a housewife, because it is the best way they can serve God. This isn't true for everyone; the most important thing is that whatever you do you do it with Love and to serve God. This woman isn't wrong in being a housewife but she shouldn't be telling others what their job is. Also, I don't believe that any one ministry takes priority over any other.
This could totally open a can of worms. :) Some people get pretty angry about this subject, on both "sides." I grew up with a mom who stayed home and homeschooled us and I loved it. She now brings in more money than my dad while still homeschooling and being a stay at home mom. She's always been active in everything - church and more outreach ministry than most of the women in our church would dream of... even the ones with no children compared to her eight. So... with that example, it's really hard for me to separate being a stay at home housewife from a working mom. Right now, I am pregnant and obviously thinking about these things. I work as a nanny for a stay at home mom who has nannies almost around the clock and I do know from that how rough it is on kids whose parents are uninvolved. There is a lot more involved in parenting than staying home.
I think that God's purpose for everyone is different and for that woman it may have been to be a mother & wife but that isn't for everyone. All we can do is listen God and not listen to man.
I think the most important thing is that both parents are invested in the care and upbringing of their kids. This can take many forms. It usually works out that one parent seems to have more responsibilities than the other in terms of the children, and while that's not ideal, it's workable as long as both parents are dedicated and the children feel safe and secure.
I find it absolutely obnoxious that that woman would make such declarative statements about "how it should be" to the other woman. What works for her might not be the best thing for some one else, and vice versa. It's fine to share what works for you or to have strong opinions, but that whole "I'm right and you're wrong" attitude and "you should question what you're doing because it's not the same as what I'm doing and I AM RIGHT" attitude is a total turn-off.
I really don't understand why people, both Christian and non-Christian, think it's acceptable to act that way. People lead by example, by actions, and if your words and actions are turn-offs to others, then are you really serving your higher calling? Are you driving people away from you or are you showing people that you live your life in a certain way, and hey, wouldn't you like to know my secret, let me share it with you?, etc."
I will never understand why people can't seem to make the distinction between serving God and serving themselves.
Wow. I just think of the Proverbs 31 woman who was very industrious both in and out of the home. And, women in the NT who supported the early church, like Lydia who was a merchant. I'm a stay-at-home mom and we plan on homeschooling. It's taken some adjustment, but it's working. My girls love having me home. But to say that it's for everyone is really a sweeping statement. Especially in the economic times we live. Things are not as simple as they used to be. As for her believing that her ministry is more important, every person's ministry is important from the women who prepare meals to the homebound, to the senior pastor of a mega-church. If you are called by God into a ministry, then do it. And, if this ministry is stay-at-home mom, then do it. I've seen this attitude before. To me, it almost sounds like resentment.
Is God's purpose for women to be housewives?
That seems like something that each woman and her family should be sorting out with God, isn't it?
As a former stay-at-home dad, my wife and I both wished she could have stayed home (and, with our third child, she was finally able to). I'm grateful, however, that God took care of us through all of it. He's funny like that. He'll bless any number of "different" situations.
Anyone who thinks they're just a man's tool needs a brain check, I think...
Break it down: I'm human. You're human. Your husband is human. The dude across the street is human. The one guy you saw on your trip in another country is human. We're all human.
No one human being is better than any other, and I deserve the same rights as any man or woman out there.
Granted, if someone wants to be a stay at home slave doing their husbands bidding, that's their choice. I mean, that's all they're doing, right? Cook for the family, clean the house, take care of the kids, make sure they get an education, do the laundry... Dad just has to go out and work for 8 hours and come home to a wife ready to be there for him.
All that being said, I'm an extremely lazy being and will probably end up being a watered down version of that person some day if we can afford it, minus all the cleaning and homeschooling stuff. I do love cooking, though. But if anyone - male or female - ever told me it was my place to be at home, I'd hit them in the face with a frying pan...
I am a stay at home mom.
I could quote many bible verse why the woman is supposed to by home with the children if you would like me to.
I will if you want just ask.
Boy,. this can really open up a can of worms.....but I know without a shadow of a doubt.my calling to to be a stay at home wife and homeschool my daughter...that is between God and me
I think the type of work a woman does should have her home when the kids are home....no nanny is better to be with your kids than you are....sometimes I think women are selfish and they want a life of their own and that is why they work. Yes, to be home and be a mom to kids is hard work and very
selfless..it is very hard work.....sometimes you don't "feel" fulfilled.....it feels like you don't have a life of your own and you are swallowed up in the day to day dealings with kids.....
if you are one of these women I say don't have kids.....like I said a can of worms is opening here....
I'm a feminist, and pretty much pro-God since I've become a Christian. It annoys me to no end that there are Christian women out there who believes that a woman's role is to be confined to the domestic. That opinion is theologically and intellectually unsound.
A woman is not defined by what she can do in the house or as a wife or mother. She is defined by the inherent worth that God has placed in her. If she has the (God-given) desire and ability to achieve great things, how can it be godly to stop her from doing all that? If you limit a woman's role to a 'housewife', you are limiting married women, and undermining single women (in that they are incomplete women because of their singledom).
If a person, regardless of gender, is married, he/she has a responsibility to support the spouse and contribute to the household where possible. If a person is a parent, he/she has a responsibility towards the care of the child. These are roles birthed out of choices that an individual makes, not birthed out of God's decree for women.
I don't see how it is selfish for a mother to pursue her dreams. A child is not made by her alone. Why is it okay for men to pursue their dreams but not for women? It is fine if a woman has considered all her options and decided that her dream is to be a stay-at-home hands-on mom, but it does not make women who choose otherwise unfit mothers. This is about freedom of choice, and hasn't Jesus already set us free?
It depends on the family and the specific calling within that family dynamic. For example, my husband and I have the finances available for me to be able to stay home and go to school. We have no children but I still see it as my "job" to keep my home clean, get good grades in college, and be the best, most supportive spouse I can be. BUT - I also don't feel called to a specific career. I also don't feel called to have a child yet. My spouse and I are on the same page with these issues. Eventually, I will work full time. I may even have a child. Now is not that time.
I do not think it is EVER God's calling for a woman to stay home and be lazy, or stay home with her children at the expense of being able to have such things as food, shelter and insurance. I can't count the number of Christian women I know who complain constantly about how broke or poor they are but refuse to get even a part time job. God's not calling you to be without things! He's calling you to make your family a priority in the grand scheme of things!
Hm. I think my first priority as a wife and mother would be to look after the family and I'd expect the same from my husband. If that means one of us stays home, then so be it. But if we are able to fully provide for the needs of our children (emotional, physical, spiritual needs), then no one can tell me what I'm doing is wrong or "not my role". I don't think anyone has the right to tell you what you're doing is right/wrong... we're all intelligent beings capable of weighing the pros and cons and making our own decisions about our family.
Sounds like your pastor's wife friend has been brainwashed by the Christian media. Needless to say, I don't agree.
@Issie - i totally agree with your comment. i'm not a full-blown feminist by any stretch of the imagination, but i fully believe that not all women are called to be housewives.
what about the judge deborah?
anyway, i believe that for this period of my life (and possible forever) God has called me to singleness. according to some, i guess i won't ever live up to the alleged call of a woman because i obviously won't have children and a husband to care for. but that's not what matters. all that matters is that i am obedient to God, wherever he has called me.
and didn't paul admonish people (yes, he mentioned women, too) to stay single if they felt they could because they better live for God that way? that kind of contradicts the idea that the only calling for a woman is to be a homemaker.
homemakers play a vital role in our society and God bless them because I know they go through so much. but that may not be all women's call.
@SunnySusan@xanga - I agree that you should be home when your children are home; however, life doesn't always work that way. I want a career for myself because I'm still young, not married, and am able to still be somewhat selfish with my time. When I have children, I know that will change and I will then work for my children, not for myself. I don't think it's selfish of me to want the best for my children, and if that means I have to work extra hard for it, I will.
@Kait82521@xanga - I agree!
I think the key for every man/woman/family is to be open to what the Lord wants of them.
That means pushing aside any preconceived notions, ideals, or conceptions and truly seeking the heart of God for one's situation and/or family.
It also means for the bible believing Christian, taking a biblical world view.
I think we need to be very careful about making assumptions about somebody from 'one' blog and posting, especially when they are not here to defend their beliefs and intentions.
I truly believe that God will show each person His heartbeat for that family/single when we truly seek His face.
And when you have heard God's heart beat, then you need to be secure in that for your life, and not try to make everyone hear the same heartbeat (which may very well be beating differently).
x
@mamma_sez - I'm sure she has good intentions and that God called her to stay at home with her son. It's the whole, "Let me tell you what a good wife is supposed to do" thing that bothers me.
@Issie - ditto!
God's purpose for us is to use our skills to serve him, if that means being a house wive, then so be it, but I'm never gonna be a stay at home mom, ever, I don't think God looks down on women who contribute to society in ways traditionally restricted to only men, such as the military. I think God is happy when he sees that we are using the gifts he gave us.
The best thing I guess is for each individual to pray and read their bible. The answers will be found between those two methods. I just asked God to guide me to where the bible talks about women's roles the first one I came across was Epehsians 5:22:
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ head of the church....so let the wives be to their husbands in everything." (NKJV)
So yeah. I believe women's general role is to be submissive to husbands whichi is so antifeminist but I think that is what our society needs. Too many women are trying to play men's roles and it's just not meant to be. God wired us a certain way for a reason. We have gender-specific roles and within that we have to pray to God what His will is for our lives. But the best thing is to read the Bible. For real.
@breakingthesilence08@xanga - amen....that is the truth...especiallly that last part. all glory to God