from
christie
After finally gaining the courage to talk openly with my parents about my faith as the only Christian in our family, my life's been really challenging. My niece (who happens to be older than me) recently quit school because God told her to, and I respect her for that. I understand that she has to follow His ways right now even if it hurts her parents. It doesn't sit well with my parents either though. My mom is afraid we're all part of a cult or something and that I'm going to get married when I'm 12... although I'm older than that. She's also afraid to let me go on a trip to the Florida revival. I understand their concern, but man... It's hard to hear my mother say things like, "I hate it when people talk to me about God," or "I will never believe in that stuff," or "All that stuff you believe in is all in your head." It so disheartening sometimes.
On Monday, she went to go visit my pastor.
She came out with the decision to not allow me to attend church any longer.Let me tell you, I started to bawl... not in front of her face... but I was devastated. So, for the past two days my spiritual walk with God has been really slacking. I've been allowing the enemy to bring me down, and to really get at me. It's been hard for me to get into the Word, and it just hasn't been easy for me to sit down and accept. However, the Lord does call us to obey our parents, and since I'm still so young, I must obey.
I basically told her, "I want to go to church, but since you're my mom... I won't go."
It's hard, and it's even harder to gain that hope that somehow God will overturn her decision. But I know somehow, God will soften her heart because only God can get through to her. I've been losing faith quickly, but just this morning, after I decided that I have to try to reconnect with God, He showed me this:
"I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy." - John 16:20
My life isn't about pleasing my parents. I know I have to obey them, but it's about pleasing my Father. It's about staying true to what He wants me to do, and what He wants for my life. If God wants me to walk to Alaska... I'll do it. My life is for Him. I can only plant the seeds in my mom's heart, but it's up to the Lord to completely turn it around.
Has being a Christian ever created conflicts between you and those close to you?
Comments (51)
God tells us to not give up meeting together...many interpret that to me "going to church"...assuming you interpret it to mean the same thing, how can you obey your mother when she's going against what God is telling you to do? I know that we are to "honour our father and mother," but I do not believe that means we must obey them when they contradict the Word of God. How do you reconcile this?? Just curious...
Hi I found your entry on xanga. and I read it. I can relate to this a lot. I don't attend church anymore but I did and when I did it was tough my family didn't like it at all. They didn't like me being involved and they didn't like the fact that I was dating someone that went to church. They kept me from it every way possible. it hurt. it was the worst time of my life. I didn't do bad things but they just didnt like it. my mom would tell me dont preach. it was hard not being accepted by your family. but I had a scripture verse that really helped me and you might be able to use it
"when my father and mother forsake me, Then the Lord will take care of me"Psalms 27:10
Hope that helps
Question: How do you feel about spiritual warfare? What are your perspectives on generational curses?
The only time you are not to obey your parents, is if they tell you go against the word of God. But it has not come to that, there are other ways to gather with other Christians. You need to do that .
Mat 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in My name, there I am in their midst.
It has more than once. There have been a couple of very tense times in my house because of how I felt the Lord was leading me.
Hold on. Following God's will when it brings us into conflict with others is always the hardest. My best friend who claimed to be a Christian started drinking, and even after confronting him, he refused to stop. After praying about it, I came to the conclusion that I had to quit being friends with him. Telling him was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Believe me, it wasn't easy. I cried in my room for days afterwards. But when I look back on it now, it was one of the best things I've ever gone through.
Don't let your parents drag you from your faith. Things get hard and the road gets rough, but we have to have faith and hang on. You'll get through this and God will still be with you. If you leave him now, what have you gained?
I'm sorry your parents have decided to do this. See if you can email your church and keep up with them online. You may not be able to go to church, but can't the church come to you?
Good luck. You have my prayers with you. Stay steadfast and know I care.
Church is where you find community and worship with others. Your parents can't close you off from the world, and surely they don't want you to live without friends. Perhaps it is your approach with your parents that threatens them and worries them. You may be the only Bible your parents ever read. If you come across as heavy-handed and a huge turn-off, then perhaps there's another way of modeling for them what a difference Christ has made in your life. Pray about it and see where God leads you.
God said to obey your parents unless they are goin against the will of God. :)
I encourage you to continue to read your Bible and to seek out fellowship with other Christians. Find someone to meet with and talk, someone who is a Christian and can support you. By showing respect to your mother concerning this she may change her mind down the road. But DO seek out a Christian friend to spend time with to encourage each other. Also you can listen to your church online or at least find good sound Biblical messages online. Stay in the Word!
Wow I do have to say that this is a first. I'm from Arkansas so it's quite the opposite, everyone's a die hard Southern Baptist Soul, and there's always that one black sheep in the family that goes against God's will and they're banned from the family. Never to be seen again.
I guess it works both ways though eh?Regardless of anyone's beliefs, including my own, (objective point of view here) I think everyone should always go with what makes them happy. What makes them seem less alone in the world.We're put on this earth for a reason.Why not find it?your entry saddens me. i have plenty of friends who has parents that don't agree with their faith but i haven't heard that they are banned from going to church. to answer your question, yes i have had plenty conversations with close friends who are not Christian that didn't end well. perhaps it's my fault for not being built well to fight those battles. If you read my xanga entry (user: angelwhitebaka) you can see that i just gotten myself into a nasty debate (no intended) with a friend about gay marriage rights. those are the times that I feel like i need to stand up for God, but i would do the same if the people who are against you are your parents. let them know about your faith and that you want to go to church, but at the same time, let them know that you are not going because you are obeying God's command in obeying parents. Just like many other brothers and sisters on this page.. yes! stay with the word!
wow. I think you should just go to church anyway. If my parents told me I couldn't go, I definitely would disobey them. You will most certainly will be in my prayers. be strong :)
I pray that you have close friends from church that you can meet up with, talk about God, and keep each other accountable. During is times of duress, community is critical.
I can see where you're coming from. For a long time, I used to be the only christian in my family (praise God that my sister came around a couple years later), and I was so scared to tell my parents because I felt that they would forbid me to leave the house on Sundays etc. By proclaiming your belief in Jesus to them, God is backing you up in heaven. In the end, God is in control, as I'm sure you know, and moreover, He is sufficient for life. Even if you do feel your faith getting weaker, you at least recognize it, which is the first step of turning around and growing strong again. It is very uncharacteristic of God to not go after the one sheep that strays away from the flock.
In the end, take comfort in James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything"
I'll be praying for you.
Going to "church" isn't the only place you can gather with others to worship God. It can be done anywhere. I remember a few years ago I was out of town with some friends and our schedule didn't allow us to go to a regular "church" service. So we went to breakfast at Cracker Barrel and had "church" there. It was one of the most memorable times of worship I've had!
The way I see it, there's a couple of ways to get around this.
Obviously, I do agree that there are times when we have to disobey our parents when it contradicts what God is telling us. But I think there's a huge misconception here.
What is your definition of Church?
Is it the services? It is the rituals? Is it the building we go to? Is it some denomination?
I don't know about you, but Biblically I've been taught that all those answers are wrong. Church isn't some building we go to. Church is actually "us." Church is meeting with other believers. There's a lot of scripture that can be said but one of them is Ephesians 3:10,21 and another is Ephesians 5:23-25. Basically those scriptures talk about the Universal Church as a people. Just for your information, I obtained this knowledge from the Alpha program at session 14 which is titles "What About the Church?"
Now that you know my scriptural basis for this. Here's my suggestion. Continue to meet up with devoted Christian friends. Also, to substitute for the usual sunday sermons, there are LOTs of online recorded sermons you can listen to. Nowadays technology allows us to immerse ourselves in theology, without even leaving our homes. You'd have to be careful about some of websites you go for sermons but chances are, your Church probably has a website and has online sermons you can listen to each week. Like any sermon, always go back to check the word of God to make sure there's no inconsistencies and that the sermon's message is biblical.
Obviously, this is only a backup plan for this type of situation. Personally, I believe that nothing comes close to actually going to a service. Even though I know that WE are the Church, it just makes logical sense to actually go to a church service to immerse myself in Gods community.
Don't worry, I've been there too. It took me a year before I told my Dad that I became Christian. By the grace of God my parents are okay with me going to Church and taking in the gifts that God has given me. I struggled with this question before since I have family members who claim to be Christian but don't go to church for some reason or another.
I hope this helps.
Blessings,
Conrad
I haven't been in a situation like this before, but I really want to encourage you! Keep up with your Bible study and prayer and find a christian friend to talk with and fellowship with. It'll be hard to keep it up, but those things are so important in keeping your faith strong. Above all remember: You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you! :) I, and I'm sure many others reading this, will be praying for you!
Yes, my dad once told me that if I didn't leave the church I was going to, that he would take me out of his will and I said to him - "Do you think you can buy me with money?" He ended up apologizing to me but it was still very rocky anytime we talked about God or church. I will keep you in prayer. Keep reading God's word.
Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God.
oh yeah. my mom and my sister used to talk behind my back to eachother. my mom would tell my big sister, to tell me, that i need to go live with her and get psychiatric help. it sucked because they are the only family i have really.
but, if you can't go to church, maybe you should bring church to you. just start singing and praising God loudly and maybe they'll let you move in to your church. haha.
This is sad. I thankfully never had to go through that conflict, but I know those who have. Needless to say, keep following God and He will help you out.
I'm so proud of you for choosing to obey your parents. Yes it'll make your walk harder but you can always go to your church friends house's and have bible studies or maybe your church puts up sermons online. God will bring you through and I believe (altho I think many people say that you can disobey your parents) that your obedience to your parents will show them what being a Christian is like...keep praying for them because if God can change many kings and pharoahs' hearts, He can change your parents' hearts as well =)
Hey! God bless you! Its hurts, but blessed are you!! Because people are persecuting you, you are gaining great treasure in Heaven! God bless you God bless you God bless you!
Hugs to you. I'm so sorry this is happening and I pray that you feel loved and kept safe, that God watches over you and that you actually grow spiritually during this season until you are an adult and can make your own decisions. This is a great opportunity for you to discover the reality of your relationship with God and his ability to be there for you. Maybe read Good Morning Holy Spirit by Benny Hinn. His parents didn't like his faith.
I 'personally' believe you need to honor your parents in this. To pray and to see God move mountains.
I also agree with the other posters above, who talk about changing your view of 'Church and fellowship' and maybe finding 'another way' of fellowshipping with other Christians. Remember the bible talks about "where two or there are gathered- there I am (Jesus) in the midst"
God can not be glorified by rebellion IMHO.
Lord I ask you now to make away for your daughter. Father I ask you to move on her parents hearts, to honor her desire to meet together with other Christians. Father may you work miracles in this family so that they ALL come to know, love and serve you. May they all come to a revelation of the Lord Jesus Christ and His dying on the cross for them.
Lord I ask that you grant her patience and peace at this time. Give her wisdom and discernment to know what to do at this time. May she go to your word the bible and find real life advice for her life today. Bless her Father, keep her from all evil and all temptation.
In Jesus name I pray.
Amen
((((((((((((((( hugs to you ))))))))))))))
This is no easy task, but God is with you.
x
@hubbaduh@xanga - good call, that doesn't stop her from hanging out with Christian friends and having Bible studies, etc...
and to Christie- if you're reading these comments: idk what music you listen to, but I find listening to worship bands like Shawn MacDonald or David Crowder Band very helpful and encouraging...
ok I'm a slo learner but a great writer. I have blogs and journalism and articles all over the word and I'd Like to be writing in your forum but I don't really get how to do it! I am quick and witty as well as a deep thinker and if your are interested I can send you links of my work. I think you would like it, do let me know.
Sorry but need to be lavender rose.
What happens next?
Oh yea, and and I DO LOVE MY LORD.