Thursday, 19 June 2008
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Relying on God's Timing
from kim
When Eric and I decided to get married, we set a date and a time, and that is when we got married. But when we decided to start a family, we submitted ourselves to living under the thumb of God's predetermined time line, of which we know nothing. Waiting to find out whether you are pregnant has to be one of the biggest emotional roller coasters for a woman. One moment you are elated at the possibility, the next you are heartbroken for what appears to be failure. You find yourself nearly falling off the edge of sanity, staring at a blank test strip as though it will suddenly change its mind. Everything out of the ordinary is carefully analyzed: every temperature reading, every feeling, every emotion.
Waiting for the day you can be certain feels like waiting for your birthday when you are six years old. You tell yourself it doesn't matter whether it happens this month or next, but can we honestly hold to that sentiment? I might not even be disappointed with a "negative," if only I could know today when it will be positive! There are days I wish I could tune out altogether and pretend it's not even a possibility. It's difficult to live in the "here and now" when "then" seems to take over your thoughts.How do you cope with God's timing when you're waiting for news?
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Comments (14)
thanks for the add and sub!
i really like your site
i'm a muslim, and recently i've been brought ever closer to God, and i've felt my relationship with him getting stronger by the day.. and a lot of this really made me think ;D
good job, keep it up!!
It's not easy, that is for certain.
I just find that I have to remind myself constantly that I am not the most important factor in the situation, but that God is. It sounds kind of crazy, but sometimes I actually have to say it out loud, just so that I can HEAR the words. And I find a relevant scripture, or five, and I speak those out loud too. Because, "Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ." Romans 1:5
You nailed it here. You wrote my exact scenario.
I didn't trust God as deeply for the husband, but God brought the most amazing man along when I was 35. Now I feel like encouraging every single girl who wants to find her soulmate...TRUST, God doesn't mess with you or leave you hanging. Enjoy your todays, and trust God for his timing. Because I had to learn the wait-trust lesson for a husband, it never crossed my mind that He would allow me to go through the same thing for children. But he is. My biggest coping tool is to remind myself that I wish I'd trusted more for a husband. If God could handpick the man and the timing, he must be doing that for the children.
I don't sit idle. I eat right, exercise, and take my prenatal vitamins...ready at all times for conception and not just when I ovulate. I research fertility. I'm on a waiting list for a fertility clinic so that I can get some professional tips. (aka is it my progesterone levels, his sperm count, etc.) But I ultimately trust God and allow for the fact that he's in charge. This stops what could have been hissy fits when my husband gets sent away for work when I'm ovulating!
The biggest help of them all has no formula or to-do list. It's God's gracious gift: THE PEACE THAT PASSES UNDERSTANDING. That's it. I can't explain it. But after a year of trying, I can see that this gift has grown. Right around the 8th or 9th month of trying, the peace really set in. It's not just trust on my own power with my mind now. It's some deep God-given peace that "everything is going to be okay."
Lastly, we laugh. We have fun trying. We have joy in the moment in what we already have: each other and a Christ-centered relationship. That alone bears fruit for God.
It's funny how this post is up today because I've really been lacking the faith and the trust with God's timing lately. It feels like just when you think He's ready to give it to you... you realize it wasn't the right time. It makes me really ponder sometimes. "Well.. when is the right time.." I have the same problem where it's like I don't care as much if it doesn't happen now, but I would really like to when it would happen. It's difficult staying patient and continuing that ongoing faith that the Lord will keep to His word and be faithful.
U know sometimes things are so hard .... but what I have learned is when we wait on God ..... he works at an amazing time. I know it is easier said than done ...... but just be patient. God will move when he is ready and when he feels it is the best time.
geeee ..... and when that time arrives ..... I imagine you will love God even more because it will be a gift to you. It will be the best time.
Don't worry .... God is far from done ...... he is just getting started. My friend you will be in my prayers.
Take care and God bless,
jess
<><
The hardest part about relying on God's timing is that we have no control over the situation. Sometimes it is about letting go of the control and releasing it into God's hands and trusting God. It's definitely easier to just say that God is in complete control and everything will work out for the better than to actually believe it. It's definitely funny how things are okay in hindsight but while you're in the situation, all we tend to do is worry.
This post actually caught me off guard because I'm kind of in a similar waiting room position with my relationship. Even though we both desire to be in a relationship with one another, we're waiting on God's conviction.
There was this story that I heard that really spoke to me. It was a mother telling the story of her child how he loves to keep his toys around him at all times, and they let him take to bed one toy each night. One particular night he chose to take his mini toy truck to sleep. After he fell asleep, the mother came in and watched her son sleep and thought to herself how cute it was that he was still clinging onto the truck during his sleep. She came in and gently took the truck out of his hands and placed it back on the shelf. At that moment, God spoke to her that this is exactly what He does with us.
It's a day-to-day battle, really. Sometimes moment-by-moment.
I can't relate to your exact situation - parenthood is waaaaaay down the road for me. But lately, God has brought a number of circumstances into my life that all seem to point to trusting Him.
I know what I want, I feel as though I'm close enough to touch it, but I know that now is not God's timing. So every time it comes to mind, I have to let it go. I used to pray for God to remove my longing - life would be so much easier and simpler! But then it was brought to my attention that God allows me to feel the pain of desire in order for me to bring it to Him. Just maybe, He is using that pain to draw me closer to Him.
And so I wait. The Lord is teaching me to hope. Some days are better than others. Some days I struggle more to surrender to Him. I don't know when my waiting will end. I wish I could know, but I choose to trust in God. I have decided to put my faith in His goodness.
Hey-
It is so true that it is hard to be in the here and now instead of the then or future. I'm 20 years old and a jr. in college and here I am thinking detail by detail my wedding. Now I know that is not usual for a girl to do because it is our dream but I keeping and praying and hoping that this certain will be the one and we're just friends nothing more and probably won't be since this next sesmter will be his last. The thing that gets me the most is that this guy is making think about my wedding more and more. I never have thought about it as much as I have like in the past 2 months or so. I think about it off and on but I'm actully writing things down now. It is really strange and hard at the same time. Well, I better go so bye.I forgot to answer your question. I know this might sound churchy but reading the Bible and praying really does help because you get so into God and thinking about what he is trying to teach you that it might back off a little because you are searching for God so much or just because you know and trust that you have given it over to God and he has it in His hands. Understand?
Kim,
You must remember God's timing is perfect. Focus on the big picture. There is a reason God doesn't want you to have a child, yet. My husband and I can't have children and I finally came to terms with that a year ago. It was close to my 30th birthday. I realize God has bigger and better things, He wants to do with me. His plans are perfect. I'm saying that God has a plan for you and your husband. Maybe He wants to mold you more. You just don't know yet. I can tell you this, God loves you and knows your heart. Trusting Him is a hard thing. Proverbs 3:5-6 says: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take." (NLT) Maybe try writing this passage down and stick in your pocket. When your having a hard time trusting pull it out and read it.
I hope this helps.
In His Love,
Jaime
I don't know how I wait... I just do. I've been waiting for the positive for several years without luck so I can understand that. I do sometimes get annoyed with people who are not feeling what I am who give advice like, it'll happen in God's time (well, I know that but it doesn't make the wait any easier!) or other "sugar coated" comments. Sometimes waiting just stinks! I didn't want to be a downer. Prayer is key and a good outlet. I did like DearieMe's comment too!
nice post kim!
I can completely relate!!
how do I cope? I pray. I ask
God lots of questions and then I hush myself. its' avery difficult
discipline to learn, but with His help, I'm trying. I'm learning that
even though God knows me better than I know myself, I have to be
willing to be completely honest with Him for my prayer to teach me
anything.
I have dealt with the same struggle that you posted about. I am very much a "planner"… I like to have everything scheduled and planned out so that I know exactly when everything is going to happen. After 4 years of marriage, my husband and I started trying for children in April. It has been very difficult for me to deal with the unknown and I've often had the exact same thought of, "I don't even mind it being negative right now if I only knew WHEN it would be positive!"
Lately I've come to realize that the worries and questions will never end, so I have to focus on the promise that God is in control. I know that the rollercoaster doesn't end with a positive pregnancy test, it mearly changes course and becomes the emotional up's and down's of "what if I have a miscarriage?"… "is the baby okay?"… "am I eating/drinking the right things?"… and rather than waiting and wondering what the results of a test will be, you are occupied by analyzing every little ache and pain wondering if it means there is a problem. And beyond pregnancy and birth a whole host of other questions and worries will await.
I'm starting to realize why God instructs us not to worry about tomorrow… because no matter what stage of life we are in, there will always be things we can worry about! God made me to be a curious, organized, "planning" sort of person and that's never going to change, but I'm doing my best to remember that ultimately it is HIS plan that matters and that plan is perfect for my life.
Best wishes to you on your journey.