Monday, 16 June 2008

  • Convictions About Modesty

    from insert_name_here15

    swimwear4 A few nights ago, my friend and I had a discussion on modesty. She felt that she could wear whatever she wanted at the beach, but I felt convicted that bikinis are immodest. Afterward, I looked up the verse that she'd mentioned: "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."  Right after that verse, though, is this instruction: "Do not cause anyone to stumble." I realized that God places some restrictions on our freedoms  so that there is order and that everyone benefits from the decisions the body of Christ makes daily.

    The way young women dress and conduct themselves around others is very powerful. Bikinis and cut out swimsuits were not designed to "get a tan."  Many women took the bikini as a "liberation," when in fact they were being used as eye candy--ask anyone--what are people looking at when you are in a bikini?  Your body! People know what arouses them. We are causing our brothers to sin if our exposed bodies lead them to lust. 

    We may have "freedom in Christ," but we don't have the freedom to make others stumble.  Paul talks about this in Galatians 5.  We are to act in love, and not indulge in the "sinful nature." If what you are doing causes your fellow brother to indulge in the sinful nature--don't do it! By your actions, you yourself are indulging in selfishness, which is a part of the sinful nature.  If it causes even a stranger to sin, don't do it!  It doesn't matter if you're wearing clothes, a bikini, drinking, dancing, or whatever it is.  It's selfish of Christians to even pretend as though doing so is ok.  And believe me, God will hold every single one of us accountable for our actions. 

    God wants every single one of us in this group to stand up for righteousness, and especially as women, to stand up for purity and modesty. God has been convicting me of this, and while I feel a responsibility as a sister in Christ to say something, I keep in mind that my stance on bikinis did not come about until the Holy Spirit took hold of my heart. 

    Do you ever worry that the way you dress or conduct yourself causes others to stumble?

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Comments (57)

  • KechiNeko244@xanga

    I'm a Christian and I wear a bikini, but the only ones who ever see my in it are my husband and my closest girlfriends! I don't make a habit of frequenting beaches or public pools, and if I did, I would wear a tankini or something. I'm not comfortable with men oggling me.


    I figure it's not a sin if my husband is the only one who sees me wear it. Besides, God created the human body, did he not? Why is it something we women should be totally ashamed of and cover up?


    At the same time, though, I'm really quite sick of the responsibility always falling on the woman. It's the old Adam cop-out. "It's the woman's fault I stumbled". Men also have a responsibility over their own heart. I don't want to cause them to stumble, but if they do, I don't want the sole blame placed on me, either. If a man cannot see a woman in a bathing suit without lusting over her, then he is of pretty weak character.

  • tshavlik

    Thanks for writing on this topic. Modesty helps us guys to stay pure in our minds. It is true that many have defiled minds, but this seems to be poor justification for lowering the standard of godliness to fit the "norm." One of the qualities that attracted me to my wife was her attentiveness to modesty. It clearly is a mark of spiritual sensativity and growth. I am thankful that there continues to be a movement among believers to dress attractively and nicely with modesty. We men thank you and appreciate your obedience to the Lord in this area!
  • AdveniatRegnumTuum@xanga

    well, I can't say I actually read all those comments, or expect anyone to read mine, but here's my two cents.

    the passage you quoted where it talks about causing others to stumble does not apply the way you want it to. It is speaking about causing someone who has conviction against something, to go against his or her convictions and do it anyway, simply because you say it's OK. So, if my wearing that bikini, you convince someone who thinks that it is immodest to follow suit, (no pun intended) THEN you have a situation this verse applies to.

    I have never seen modesty spoken of in the Bible as the covering of skin. what does it say?
    first Timothy 2:9 -- I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes,
    so it appears modesty, at least at that time, was an issue of showing off affluence then covering ones body... there is, if I recall correctly, One leg for you to stand on. I think that some of the things named in the timothy verse I quoted were things that prostitutes did, though I am not sure on that one. so that may give ground against dressing as a whore.

    So, dressing modesty I think is similar to humility.

    now my personal opinion, no scriptural backing that I know of off the top of my head. There are times to watch what you wear, many churches allow mixed swimming (for church events) only if the guys were shirts, and the girls wear... snowsuits? not sure, probably shorts and a shirt, I can't remember. so in groups like that I do think the loving thing to do is to conform. however, for some reason I have never been offended by a bikini, well... maybe a thong might be overboard, but once again, my opinion. any time I may have let my thoughts go astray upon seeing a woman in a bikini, it would have had to do with the fact that I wasn't abiding in Christ and His purity.

    So, I say, use loving judgment, if you are going to be with a group where some may have convictions against certain amounts of skin, follow that, if for no other reason then the fact that you may help others to push away their convictions if you do not.

    also, IMHO a girl in swimming shorts and a shirt is insanely attractive, so do't think that you will look like santa clause if you wear a little more.
  • seattlepam

    This is a topic I have felt passionately about for over a decade, until recently.  I still feel that modesty is important for women because of the message we send to others by the way we dress.  But I don't believe that this is just a female issue.  I think both men and women should be careful about the messages they convey by the way they dress.  With that being said, I was so passionate about modesty that I believed that Muslim women had a better grasp of the concept than christians. Now I have begin to question some of my beliefs. I have two young daughters and a son.  I don't want my daughters to dress in a provocative way and I don't dress in a provocative way as an example to them.  But provocation is hugely subjective and recently I have made a commitment to no longer restrict myself based on the perversion of others.  There are men who will be tempted by anything.  In some religions it is believed that any visible portion of a woman's skin or hair is perceived as provocative and therefore it should be covered.  That her voice can be provocative so she should not speak in such a feminine way as to tempt a man.  That she should not be allowed to travel freely in public because some man may take her and rape her because her being alone sends a the wrong message.  We don't live by those extremes in this society, but the issue of modesty is hugely a male issue and if allowed to be taken to its extremes can be a perversely restrictive force against women.  It has already happened in other societies.


      God created men and women as different beings.  I have a hard time believing that women should have to exist publicly as asexual beings so as not to offend or cause any man to stumble.  It just doesn't seem fair.
  • conradma

    I praise any sister in Christ that dresses modestly because lust is such a huge problem with men today. At the same time, I believe that modesty is relative to different places and different times. Because I think there is a difference between being modest and dressing downright ugly, depressing, and unfashionable. In my opinion, women still deserve to express their own identity through the way they dress. No one can really name specifics for every situation. I think the main idea is to take initiative and gauge our own situations to see what works as with every single grey area out there.

    For my situation specifically, I have no problem with girls putting on make-up or styling hair in a certain way. In fact, sometimes there's just too much make-up that its just unattractive. So really, make-up and hair is not an issue for me. T-shirt and Jeans or some sort of pants seems to be the standard modest clothing out there. I also have no problem with any sort of short sleeve. A general guideline in my part of the world would be something like "If it does not show gratuitous amounts of skin" then I'm okay as a brother for my sisters to wear that.

    But honestly, those are just guidelines. I'm not saying that women HAVE to wear t-shirts and jeans all the time. Cuz that'd just be boring to see the same type of girl everywhere.  All I'm saying is that I appreciate my sisters for dressing modestly for us. I just don't want them sacrifice their individuality because of it since each one of us are children of God and he made us all beautiful in our own ways.
  • ilovej21

    Actually I never really thought that anything I could wear would cause anyone to stumble but I guess you do have a point concerning that. I mean I don't really consider myself eye candy in the first place so if I do consider before the Lord what I should wear during the day its really all about being pleasing in his sight and expressing Him. Your post makes me think of this verse ( 1 Tim2:9) that tells sisters to dress with modesty and sobriety. Actually I really don't think that the whole issue is just about whether we are revealing too much or not because you could be dressing super modest but still stumble others. For example, I could be wearing a dress that isn't low cut and isn't above the knee but still cause someone to look at me in that way because it is fitting around my hips, butt, or breast. Or it can even be a color that looks great on my skin, (which can get a guys attention too). So really if the Lord is touching your conscience on modesty then we should just really ask him whats ok and what not.
  • MarissUH_frances@xanga

    being a seventeen year old girl with the type of body to show off and being around all my friends who's clothes can practically be classified as underwear it is hard to dress appropriately and not make others "stumble"
    I used to wear whatever I wanted low cut tops short shorts.. you name it. but after I met this boy whom I really like and who is a christian who didn't want women to wear these clothes i respected his wishes and now my wardrobe is full of modern clothing, long dresses etc which i think are much nicer.

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