Monday, 16 June 2008
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Convictions About Modesty
from insert_name_here15
A few nights ago, my friend and I had a discussion on modesty. She felt that she could wear whatever she wanted at the beach, but I felt convicted that bikinis are immodest. Afterward, I looked up the verse that she'd mentioned: "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." Right after that verse, though, is this instruction: "Do not cause anyone to stumble." I realized that God places some restrictions on our freedoms so that there is order and that everyone benefits from the decisions the body of Christ makes daily.
The way young women dress and conduct themselves around others is very powerful. Bikinis and cut out swimsuits were not designed to "get a tan." Many women took the bikini as a "liberation," when in fact they were being used as eye candy--ask anyone--what are people looking at when you are in a bikini? Your body! People know what arouses them. We are causing our brothers to sin if our exposed bodies lead them to lust.We may have "freedom in Christ," but we don't have the freedom to make others stumble. Paul talks about this in Galatians 5. We are to act in love, and not indulge in the "sinful nature." If what you are doing causes your fellow brother to indulge in the sinful nature--don't do it! By your actions, you yourself are indulging in selfishness, which is a part of the sinful nature. If it causes even a stranger to sin, don't do it! It doesn't matter if you're wearing clothes, a bikini, drinking, dancing, or whatever it is. It's selfish of Christians to even pretend as though doing so is ok. And believe me, God will hold every single one of us accountable for our actions.
God wants every single one of us in this group to stand up for righteousness, and especially as women, to stand up for purity and modesty. God has been convicting me of this, and while I feel a responsibility as a sister in Christ to say something, I keep in mind that my stance on bikinis did not come about until the Holy Spirit took hold of my heart.
Do you ever worry that the way you dress or conduct yourself causes others to stumble?
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Comments (57)
Personally, I think everyone of us at one time or another causes another to stumble in what we do or say.
However, as a woman, this topic of modesty makes me uncomfortable. I do dress modestly and even if I had the figure to "show off", I would still dress modestly. What makes me uncomfortable is the belief that how I choose to dress would drectly MAKE someome else feel or think a certain thing. It's a slippery slope for me as a woman, and even more so because I have teenage sons. It is quite embarrassing to see a girl or young lady in public letting it all hang out. My 14 year old has already formed typical male opinions about girls like that. On one hand, they must be "easy". On the other hand, don't let Mom see me looking. On the third hand (LOL), they are dressed inappropriately - at least that's what he says to me. This is a young man who has struggled with inappropriate computer stuff, too, so I am extra careful about how I approach this with him.
Anyway, I digressed. It is obvious that some women like to show off their bodies. Ok, I get that. It's not my place to judge the reasons for that. Does she do it to get male attention? Why do any of us dress the way we do? Especially as a young woman who is in the prime of her life - I don't know many young ladies who like to cover up. What kind of message do we send girls when we tell them that they are responsible for what someone else thinks of them simply by the way they dress? This is one of those topics that is just "walking that fine line".
Righteousness is a two way street.
I never really put much thought into modesty. I would say I dress pretty modestly most of the time, but I count modest as covering the things that need to be covered. Meaning I won't wear the bikinis, but I do wear a two piece. And I wear spaghetti straps, but the front and back usually come up to collarbone level. Mostly what I think during the summer when I get dresses (and then proceed to change clothes 10 times a day) is "Dang it's hot in here. I need something cool to wear today."
I try to dress modestly at all times. Right now I am in the process of switching over to wearing Shalwar Kameez because they are modest and I love how they look.
hey hey. someone who actually cares about us guys and our eyes and thoughts... thank you! : ) It is good to see that a girl likes what she looks like but she does not need to put it alllllll out there. Good to see someone is trying to make sure us guys don't stumble than our minds already allow us to..... : )
this hits such a broader issue as in drinking, smoking, gambling, piercings, tattoos, and the such. I believe if someone has the freedom in their walk with God where they don't feel guilt, shame, or that their action will cause a brother to stumble, then more power to you. But I know, as a pastor, that every word I say and everything I do is under a microscope by those in and out of the church.
I am guessing you live somewhere were Bikinis are not the normal bathing suit. At a lot of beaches they are so normal that if you wanted to draw atention to yourself, you would ware a one piece. I think you do need to take into count the culture were you are swimming. If you are in Hawaii no one is all that stimulated by your bathing suit. They see them all year, on everyone
I'm not one to dress inappropriately... I don't wear thin strapped tanks or short shorts outside of my home etc. But I feel it truly depends on your definition of modesty. For example, do fitted tees really count anymore? On one hand I feel it does, because it's not meant to be arousing to anyone.... loose fitting clothes may not deem itself comfortable to one person as they are to another...... and though it may seem modest to someone, to another they could find pleasure in the way it surrounds a woman's body.
If all women were to begin dressing "modesty" the definition of modest would change. A t-shirt or a pair of capris would be considered inappropriate..... Some men are just bound to find something attractive on what a woman is wearing, regardless if she is covered in a full t-shirt and jeans, not attempting to please anyone.
In my opinion the true work should be focused upon the cleansing of the mind, rather than wardrobe.
Thanks for the post.... an interesting topic you brought up :-] God Bless!
Very good post!! good thoughts on modesty. it is something that even Christians are losing & that is sad. blessings to you!
as a guy who has had this conversation with many women i have found that it is unfair to say that ALL women wear bikinis merely for attention.
I believe we need to be careful, but not hide the beauty God created in us. (Stasi Eldgrige's Captivating is a good book on this beauty God created in women.) I don't want to cause a man to stumble, so I am careful. But I'm not overly scrupulous because there are men out there who will stumble even when you're covered from head to toe.
We had a great discusson on this recently...check out what some of us had to say here: http://weblog.xanga.com/Evowookiee/660967186/what-is-modesty.html
Good thoughts. I agree that this is a 2-way street and that it is not the fault of the woman if the man is looking at her or having inappropriate thoughts... but seriously, us Christian women can certainly put a little more thought into helping our brothers out. Would it be right to sit and down a 6-pack in front of a friend who is struggling with alcoholism? Is it MY fault if he falters and has a drink (or 2 or 3 or 10...)? Well no, not really. It's his choice to take that action. But did I help the situation? Certainly not! Men struggle with lust... it's part of how they are wired and also a part of what our culture conditions them to be. Of course it is their responsibility to handle that challenge, but we don't have to make it harder for them by dressing in ways that make it difficult for them to look away. So next time you are getting dressed ladies, just take a few moments to consider what your goal is. Are you trying to make the boys look at your "assets" or are you presenting yourself as a daughter of Christ? Not saying we all need to wrap ourselves up from head to toe, but at least be willing to lay your wardrobe at the feet of Christ and ask Him to help you be the best possible representative that you can be.
what in the world does modesty have to do with God?
My outward appearance is not the problem, my mind is.
All that being said, I am not a nudist! *lol* Not yet... *shifty eyes* Naw I'm just joking about the nudist thing. o_O
I think that modesty is relative to your environment and how the Holy Spirit convicts you. For example there are parts of the world where women run around topless (and it is not immodest) and parts of the world where it is immodest for a woman to show more than her eyes. Different parts of the country are different as well. What is okay for one woman may not be okay for another. I think that it is important to listen to how the Holy Spirit leads you. There is not a set dress code for all women everywhere.
Although I agree that there are not enough women (especially Christian women) who actually care.
Consider Genesis 3. Adam and Eve sewed a bunch of leaves together. God thought it is not enough and gave them COATS of skins to wear. That should tell you how God view the brievity of couple leaves. The thing is- many people nowadays in this culture has been wearing as little as bunch of leaves together. As a Christian, should we respect God's viewpoint or not?
First Timothy 2:9. It said for woman to dress modestly. Are we doing so in God's viewpoint as described above? It is only fair to request man to dress modestly out of respect. Consider again Genesis 3. God gave COATS of skins to BOTH female AND male. This means male need to think about it too.
Skimy swimsuits on both sexes are the very reason why I don't ever go visit busy beaches and pools. I prefer single-sex swim sessions with covering as much as short sleeved t-shirt and capri would cover. No, I am not Muslim or anything relating to that. I am very conservative Christian- to the point of many people mistaking me as Amish. In fact I wrote about this issue... you may read it if you wish. http://weblog.xanga.com/mjh905/655137465/swimwear-2.html
No, because as human beings we are all imperfect; furthermore, we all live with sin (that is why God sent Jesus). Whether we are forward with our thoughts (or in this example...our clothes) or not, lustful thoughts will still be there. I don't care how pure you are, it's there. Now, whether we act upon those lustful thoughts is something entirely different. A woman who dresses a certain way for herself is different than a woman who dresses a certain way to entice a man. The woman who dresses scantily because she wants to do it for herself does not have an agenda to make the man stumble; therefore, she is not accountable. That's my two cents.
wow, what a hot topic! ;) i really appreciate you writing about this because I believe that not enough girls consider it in the way they act or dress. I have to admit I have become much more conscious of this once I got married, even though I grew up in a home where my parents wanted us to wear long dresses all the time! It is ironic that by making use of our "freedom" to do whatever we want we are just making ourselves into objects, less than the people we could be. Having said that, I believe it IS a heart issue. If your heart is soft toward God's leading, and you still feel okay wearing swimwear, short shorts, whatever... well, that is between you and God. It's a reallllly fine line between Godliness and legalism. :) Rebellion, on the other hand, is something else altogether.
@Get_Real_64@xanga - I agree with you on the slippery slope thing. I often wonder how easy it is to go from one extreme (my g-string a la latest celebrity) to another where nothing is revealed on women. One of the countries that has the largest amount of plastic surgeries in the world is Iran, where women can reveal nothing but their face and hands. On the other hand, I read in the latest issue of Cosmo yesterday that something like 86% of women who wear a bikini feel self-conscious and yet, we're supposed to simply "get over" being oogled at as we're walking.
What to do, what to do.
Some women like to be looked at, and I believe without using too broad of a brush, that is because it makes them feel good about themselves. Unfortunately it is a sad subsitute for feeling actually good about yourself.
well I live on a lake and my parents own a house at the beach...I think that there is a time and placefor everything!! Where im from bikinis are excepted...But when I was in Nicaragua last week my friend told me that It was not right in her country soo I didn't where a bikini...
i agree with you.however, there are people who have perverted minds and even if you were covered from head to toes, their eyes would still undress you.I have given up on extremely short, exposing outfits but a bikini...errm thats a tough one!
Amen! While we can't control the way others view us (say a person IS a pervert like the above comment says), we CAN be innocent of leading them into sin by our dress. Thanks for sharing on such a controversial topic!
hot topic! And one I have seen taken waaaay too far in the name of godly standards!! I have a friend who strongly believes make-up, styling ones hair in varying ways, and skirts are totally immodest. She only wears long dresses that purposely have no waist built into them! and everytime I talk to her she bemoans the fact that she is 33 and no man has EVER shown interest in her for marriage. I feel bad for her since she also thinks the only reason she has been placed on this earth is to have babies! She is totally missing out on a personal relationship with God because she is completely obsessed with following rules and "standards" for godliness! Instead of asking, "God, what do you want to do with my life?" she is asking her father, "Is this dress and headcovering in line with your standards of godliness?" It is deeply heart breaking!!
So all that is to say that our freedom is designed to cause us to feel the compelling need to walk hand in hand with our Savior and need to seek HIM moment by moment to find out how HE wants to use us today and how we may glorify Him with our bodies! Sure it would be lots easier to just let our parents, church (or in many cases CULT) leaders, mentors, and such dictate what will glorify God but then we break His heart when we prefer man's opinion over HIS!!!