Wednesday, 11 June 2008
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Counseling: Shame or Salvation?
Okay, I'm going to be really honest here and tell you that I want to go to counseling. Not generic premarital counseling or a group seminar/workshop/session, but a real "I have deep-seated issues and need to talk to a professional" counseling. Where I come from and how I grew up, this is a heavy admission and I'm feeling all sorts of weird, insecure, shameful things as I write this. What if you all think I'm a drug addict? Or an alcoholic? Or bipolar? Or suffered child abuse? Because those are the only people that need counseling, right?
The truth is that although I'm not any of those things, I can still benefit from some professional help by a trained counselor. I think in today's society, it's perfectly acceptable, almost "cool," to have your own therapist if you're rich and/or famous (especially if you get Prozac or Percoset out of it). But if you're a regular, everyday person - especially a Christian - your life should be pretty normal and all figured out. To be a Christian who needs counseling seems almost sinful, because it's like saying that Jesus isn't enough to solve your problems!
I think most of us know better; although Jesus is enough, we also need community to further our transformation into whole and healed individuals. But sometimes, that healing comes in the form of a professional. This is a scary thought, because no one really likes asking for help. No one likes admitting they have problems that can't be solved by reading a book by Dr. Phil or ordering the latest infomercial gadget. Whether we are drug addicts, abuse victims, or simply felt misunderstood as children, this fear seems to apply to many of us.
So there's my admission guys: I need help. I want certain things in my life to be fixed. I want healing and completeness so I can live my life to the fullest. And I'm going to seek it in the form of Christian counseling that is offered at my church.
Have you ever received counseling and did it help you?
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Comments (39)
I've never done counseling. Psychiatry never seemed credible to me. It seemed more a way to set specific parameters around people and then catalogue them by that, rather than know their minds and who they are.
@BowDownBeforeHim - just an FYI, I am actually speaking of Counseling or Psychotherapy, which is different from psychiatry. You can read more here.
When my 16 yr old sister died last year my whole family went, since then my mother goes maybe once a month. It was good for all of us, he opened conversation between us that never would have happened if we had not.
I never thought less of people who go for counseling, actually I admire that they dare to say "I don't have it all together"!
I have done counseling throughout my life. I am bipolar (bipolar II), had ADD (not ADHD) as a child (still some remnants) as well as identified depression issues since early on. I also studied psychology for four years (I was unable to obtain my degree and have moved on to graphic design). I have also been on various amounts of medication throughout my life. In the end, I can say for sure both counseling and medicine help. I would be without hope of anything if it weren't for both in tandem. But, obviously I have abnormal psychological issues. You have much more normal issues... or so it seems. In the end you must consider this: will counseling make my life better? If you can understand yourself, your life and your past better, I think it will make your life better. And I see nothing ungodly about that.
In addition, if you DO have a problem that can be solved with Dr. Phil's help... THEN you are in trouble! : )
I have been in counseling for a number of issues one you mentioned above. Child abuse. I am in counseling now to deal with living with MS. Yes I believe it can and does help. My husband is a Christian and a counselor and I can tell you he has seen many wonderful things come from it.
Counseling is worth the invsetment you make in it. There is no shame in asking for help. It takes a strong person to admit they need help and to seek it out.
i used to think the same way. when i was forced to see a counselor, i felt like i was helpless and useless, up to no good that i have to have some professional help me run my life. well at the time i met her, my life WAS a mess.
then when i found God once again in my life, i felt ashamed to continue using her service. but then i looked at it this way, since she is a christian woman, she is doing God's will to help people walk in the righteous.
after all, if i never went to counseling, i would not be who i am now. i don't think that it is wrong to seek counseling... it does NOT matter of where,who and what you have been to now.... it is all matter of having someone to pick you up and throw a curveball every once in a while.
i am proud to have counseling... sadly i cannot find one in the area yet so far since i moved out of the state from the counselor i have been visiting.... SAD!
if it was shameful then why would we refer to Jesus as our counselor so many times? people are so silly nowadys..
i've recently started to take classes in counseling. it's amazing how much of it derives and can be alluded to scripture. it's amazing because it's wondrous opportunities to share and preach His gospel.
as for me, i've had ups and downs with counseling. more ups than downs, but alas, i am at work and must comment later on..
p.s... even the bible charactors got depressions!!
I got referred to have counsilling because I was suffering "a depressive episode"
I found it helped definately. I knew I needed help since I was about 12/13 and never asked for it. It made me so much worse to the point where I had to be referred because I'd become so noticabley depressed and troubled. I think if you know you have unresolved issues you should try and talk about it definately don't wait for them to become even more of a problem.
All the best.
Counseling can be very rewarding for people. It's okay to seek it, but you have to be careful who you choose. The truth is, it's normal to have issues... and it's normal to need counseling. God doesn't intend you to go through life trying to figure out everything on your own. He gives you help in many forms. Sometimes, that comes supernaturally through the Holy Spirit, but sometimes, he puts certain people in your life to help you... often that might be in the form of a Christian counselor. My father is actually one and is on xanga: Xangpastor
One of the main things to remember though is that their advice doesn't do any good if you don't take action on your part.
I have received counseling when I was younger from the Pastor of the church I was going to, and now I do counseling at my church. Hopefully you will receive good biblical counsel and not some sort of Christian psycho babble that has become popular. God bless.
Humans need help. The Bible says there's wisdom in a multitude of counselors. I believe that means input from credible Christian people. It helps clarify things, and it helps us to re-align our perspective. My personal thoughts on counseling, is that as long as you don't become dependent on the counselor, or the counseling sessions, and at some point you aren't "needing" that particular counselor's help anymore, and can stop, I think it's not only okay, but wise. Sometimes you really can't see the forest for the trees, and an outside "guide" if you will, can just help you find the path again.
I'm assuming from the tone of your blog that you aren't one of these
"counseling junkies" who's really just seeking and ear, a place to go
to whine and "be understood" that are so common. I deal with that on a regular basis. That isn't right at all, but I doubt that's what you're talking about. With that as an assumption, I'd say go! Just - seriously... keep it Christian. There are a lot of so called Christian counselors who practice the same type of counseling as any secular counselor would, but they are Christians personally, so they call themselves Christian counselors. I'd be pretty sure they are planning to counsel from God's word, that their counsel itself is Christian.
My 2. Sorry it's so long.
hello~ :) I'm actually currently in a Counseling program to get my Marriage and Family therapy license and there are lots of "normal" people who seek counseling. My own personal belief tells me to trust God, and I do. I know that everything is in His hands... but that doesn't mean we can't benefit from counseling :) It's not really about choosing the way of counseling as an alternative to turning to God... I remember before any of my sessions (we were also required to receive counseling, as part of the program), I would pray that God would open up my mind to the issues that I needed to bring up that day, and pray that the counselor would also be given the wisdom to notice the unseen bits that I needed help with.
I think counseling has definite benefits. Of course I'm biased since I'm hoping to go into that field... but my entire life is Christ... and if i felt that counseling (giving or receiving) was in any way opposed to my beliefs, I wouldn't have gone into it... especially with a prayer where I told God... this cannot be done on my own efforts, it is ALL you God...
I think it's important to let go of the guilt or mixed feelings... cause i think then, you'll have a tendency to close that part of your life from God (cause of guilt or whatnot).
hope you get everything that you want from counseling!
Go for it! It always is beneficial to have an objective person to listen that can direct you in the right direction! Christian counseling sounds the way to go to work through the issues. I know I would prefer that overall myself. Hope it all works out well for you! Praying that the Lord will walk with you through it!
J
There's many different forms of counseling...and most of the people I know that have had counseling said it worked for them.
I haven't had formal counseling, but speaking with my pastor on specific issues has helped me grow.
I had Christian counseling and it was my salvation. I would definitely recommend it. I also saw a secular psychologist at one time who encouraged me to leave my husband. That was bad news.
Proceed with caution but PROCEED!
ADHD recently diagnosed and treating with meds. Until about 1 year ago I would have considered it a christian cop out. It's not. Depression is real. Chemical imbalances real. Brains wired differently than others real. There is nothing wrong with seeking professional help. There is an extreme shortage of qualified Christian therapists but I would not wait till one miraculously "Pops Up".
Best suggestion - An older Mentor type Christian to confide in, a Mom figure you respect to seek guidance and accountability in seeking help. This somebody should understand that Life is not so simple as PRAY, cause' life is messy, an older Mom type should relate to this. Don't get me wrong Prayer is Important but check out some of the Agony Psalms of David then read the Praise Psalms of David and be ye encouraged! Through a Christian Mentor relationship I turned my Life around! From curl up in a ball, paralyzed and watch the World go by to signed a contract with a Wall street firm in less than one year. GOD IS GREAT! It has been a both and situation in my life. Gods grace and providence expressed in powerful ways and a lot of hard work with a capable Mentor guiding my efforts.
God definitely works in time and space and through means! (Why the spittle and clay to make the blind man see?) I pray you find an amazing mentor and confidant, mostly I pray you find the help you seek!
In Him
CML
I encourage you to seek help. If you feel that it would benefit you, then there's nothing wrong about it. Wouldn't God want you to persue happiness and feel like you could talk about your problems with others? God is always there, but sometimes you need a physical being to communicate to. Because that way you actually get direct feedback.
I went to counseling for many years starting when I was in the 5th grade. I tagged along with my parents who were going to marriage counseling but in 9th grade I started going for my own purpose and that lasted until college. I had my reasons and talking to a professional helped very much so I encourage you to also go if you feel like you have something that needs fixed. Going to counseling for whatever reason isn't a bad thing. I still feel like because of current things going on in my mind I should again seek counseling but I don't have health insurance right now and lack of money. I wish you luck with it and hope that you can find answers to helping what you need. God bless.
I think I'd pretty match everything everyone has said above. I'm glad that your going to a Christian Counselor, because for awhile there I was seeing a secular one. Its very hard for secular counselors to understand and even encourage living in the faith. I found myself having to tell my counselor, that no I wasn't looking for encouragement in sinng. haha. I didn't have that Godly backdrop and prayer to the advice she was giving me, even though she was good... I definitely missed having other christians to talk to. Now I talk to my paster, and its so much better because then we can get in the word and pray about everything
I'm struggling with the same idea. My psychiatrist wants me to go to psychotherapy and I am not sure if I should go because of the Christian perspective. God heals and all that... But the one thing that is slowly changing my mind is the way God uses other people to bring healing to those in need. Jesus had the apostles to help him. God uses doctors and nurses and all kinds of health professionals to help us. He works through them to heal us. Just like Jesus and God used the apostles to do miracles and cast out demons and save people. It is no point kidding ourselves that if we just 'give ourselves to God everything will be better' We live in a tainted world and the divide between us andGod is growing. We need to use all the resources that we can to get back in line with God and even if the therpists are not Christians themselves it doesnt matter. God chose Saul, didnt He?
I do not believe that there is anything "sinful" about going to counseling. I have been in and out of counseling since I was in Jr. High. I have been diagnosed with a mild form of bipolar and struggled with cutting for about 5 or 6 years. (I have been cut-free for about 2 years now) Some of my counselors didn't really help. But I have had one or two that have really helped me ask myself some tough questions and as a result make better decisions. I have often gotten frustrated with the "go read your Bible and pray about it" solution for every problem. Yes, sometimes our issues can be resolved by getting back on track with God. On the flip side, not all issues are a result of something we're doing wrong. Sometimes we just need a little extra help. Sometimes we need God with skin on.
Yes, I have been in counseling several times...all for very different reasons. Did it help? Yes. I can honestly say that it did help me...but you have to keep in mind that you only get out of your session what you put into it.
It isn't all sit and talk about your problems. You still have work that you have to do...and it doesn't end after the session. You have to take it home with you to make it really work.
I've seen pyschologists, psychiatrist and even a social worker. The social worker was my personal favorite...but I have heard that is unusual. Social workers with a masters can do clinical counseling.
I've seen counselors of my faith, different faiths and even of other faiths who have a lot of experience counseling people of my denomination.
If you have a choice, I would say I would suggest someone of your faith or that at least knows enough about your denomination to be able to guide you down the path you need to be on.
They helped shape me in such a way that I learned to identify my issues and how to work on them with success.
I've only had one counselor which I was never completely comfortable with...and I used my option to not return to her practice.
Good luck! Remember you only get out what you put in to it.
i've been to counseling. mainly because i can't find the support i need from my friends nor my family at that time. there's nothing wrong with seeing a counselor, they help you sort things out that sometimes you can't do because either you feel embarrassed to admit it, or you blocked it out your head. i think it's good, but it depends more on the counselor. some are better than others.