Thursday, 29 May 2008

• Dating Series - Part 2

  by miss plumeria

  Continuing off from Part 1, here are six more things I learned. 

  5. Pray together or individually and ask God for help when you're having a tough time.

  If you're in a dateship, it means you're serious about the relationship and about the marrying potential of your significant other (SO).  Hard times are inevitable.  Misunderstandings, miscommunications, disappointments, and hurts will come knocking at your door even when its not welcomed.  When you pray, the disagreements and disappointments lessen and your anger subsides.  When you pray together, you feel less alone because you're inviting God into your relationship.  It really works!

  6. For girls, PMS is not a good excuse to be super moody and grouchy.

  During my group premartial counseling session, one couple shared that her fiance was really supportive and caring for a week during that "time of the month".  All the other girls were envious.  But, all of a sudden, one of the guys yelled out, "dude, you only get it for one week??  my girl - her's last for three weeks!!!"  Then all the other guys jumped in with their, "AMEN brother, I hear ya.  Three weeks.  I only get one good week out of the month!"  At that point, I realized how hard guys have it when girls have their period.  As a girl, it's tough to deal with the cramps, back pains, and hormones, but since it's happening to us, we can't tell what the side effects are.  So try to be extra nice when it's that time of the month. 

  7. Know your person's love language.

  There are five love languages - five different ways people feel loved and want to be loved.  These love languages are words (words of encouragement and praise, appreciation, and acknowlegement), time (spending time with them and setting aside time even when you're busy), acts of service (doing things for them, going out of your way to serve them, doing things without being asked), gifts (buying or giving gifts), and touch (holding hands or hugs).  God created us all differently so we all have different love languages.  The sooner you know what yours and your partner's love language is, the easier time you'll have in showing that you love them and feeling loved.

  8. Figure out your conflict resolution.

  Yelling never works.  No one likes to be yelled at.  After a lot of fights, you'll be able to define your conflict resolution.  Work on refining your conflict resolution.  It could be taking some time to think about it before you talk about it, talking about it right away, or writing things out, but the sooner you figure out your conflict resolution, the smoother things will flow.

  9. No one likes being treated like a slave.

  Guys usually do things for the girl in the beginning of the relationship.  They're actually happy to do things for girls, but as the dateship continues, the dynamics change.  Girls get used to guys doing things for them and ordering them around.  If you want your guy to do something for you, ask nicely and say please.  DON'T treat them like a slave.  It's pathetic when other people see that you treat your guy like a slave.  Don't make him look whipped.  Also if you can do things yourself, DO IT YOURSELF.

  10. Give each other space.

  Go out with your friends.  Don't create a situation where your SO is your ONLY friend.  Spend time apart.  You don't have to be together all the time.  Give each other breathing space and hang out with friends that will keep you accountable.  It's also good to do things in groups and see each other in different settings.  Also, when you hang out in groups or separately, you can maintain your own identity and still feel like you have your own life.

  I think that's it for now.  What other things can you add to this list?

  

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