Wednesday, 14 May 2008
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Coffee Talk: Can Christian girls talk about sex?
I saw a great post posing this question. Here's a snippet of it here:Is it appropriate for Christian girls to talk about sex at their bridal shower.
My little sister recently went to her first bridal shower and the girl got a bunch of sexy lingerie. That led to conversations and jokes about sex. My sister and her friend are single girls and are waiting to date until they have graduated college. They felt so uncomfortable at the party that they left.
I think this is a good point - sex has become fairly taboo in Christian culture...but if we step back and think about it, the Bible embraces it - He even dedicated a whole book in the bible to it.
So how did this discrepancy come to be? and as the post asks, Does God care if single girls talk about sex when there are no guys around?
on the flip side (guy's POV here), does your answer change if it was single guys?
*talk amongst yourself....discuss!*
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Comments (12)
i think the disconnect comes with HOW and WHY sex is discussed, not whether it is. i think a lot of people probably should not, not because sex is bad, but because those individuals simply dont have the self control to aproach it in a reverent, respectful way. think of it like this, marraige, and by extention, sex, the two becoming one, is a picture of Christ and His Church. if it's something that would be offensive when applied to that relationship, it's probably something that should not be said in the context of sex either. by that standard, a lot of what IS said about sex shouldnt be.
in conclusion, while making it taboo is extreme, it is a reaction, or over reaction to the baseness of societies aproach to it.
Why not? So long as the talk isn't trashy, dirty, or totally inappropriate, why can't girls, and even guys, for that matter, talk about sex?
hey linda richmond! my answer is ABSOLUTELY, YES single Christian girls should talk about sex. married women should talk about it too. married women should talk to single women about it and vice versa. talk talk talk!! it's nothing to be ashamed of! and if single christians (guys and girls) are having sex - when they know it's meant for marriage - they shouldn't feel ashamed to talk about it, otherwise it has this snowball effect. we have to talk about it and figure out how God originally designed it to fit in our lives so that we can 1) make our 'waiting' time more purposeful and/or 2) be freed from any behavior that doesn't fit God's idea of sex.
i might write another post on this - there's so much to say. but i'm so glad you brought it up.
Yes, of course Christian girls can talk about sex. But I can see where the girls who are single at the bridal shower would feel uncomfortable. In situations like the shower, maybe try to be respectful of the people in the room, it's a brial shower, someone is going to buy the bride some lingerie, joke about it, but try not to limit what is joked about.
Have a great day, Chris! :)
Btw, I thought it a little ironic that the post is titled "Coffee talk: Can Christian GIRLS talk about sex?"
God created sex.. He did say "Go forth and multiply" The bible does not shy away from the topic and makes a distinction between "knowing" and "lay with" So why should we shy away from the it just because the world has perverted it - be it lewd jokes or pornography. It is not what the media or Hollywood has to say, it is what the Holy Word has to say.
However that is not to say that we quote bible verses all the time too. God created us to feel passion and with it temptation as well. And it would be wise to discuss this in the open, even perceived *taboo* issues like masturbation and oral sex. These are real issues that cannot be simply swept under the carpet or ignored because it is difficult. I just make mention of these issues but the rightness, wrongness, etc may not be appropriate to discuss in this forum. (I'm wary of quoting bible verses to "correct" someone whom I don't have a personal relationship with; It's different from quoting verses in MY own blog post and sharing my view)
Like what inoekoa (the first comment) mentioned above, it is in HOW the discussion is conducted due to the potential sensitivity. For example, in a closed forum, with married couples, marriage counselling session with pastor, over coffee with older close friends.
Dude, guys always talk about it no matter what...Chirstian or not, it's part of being what seperates human from animals, God made sex good and it is man who's fall made it into something other than what God made it to be...a gift. It's ok to talk about it, or how else will you talk about this subject but read about it from sources that may not be Christian based.
I don't think it should be taboo to talk about sex as a christian. I don't think that we should be ignorant of it so why not talk about it? Of course I agree with the how and why of it. How are you discussing it? crude and rude? Telling dirty jokes? The bible also talks about minding how we speak.
I think people, even singles, should definitely be open with talking about sex, as long as it isn't in a crude or demeaning way. I think it is better to be open about your life and aspirations than conceal it and end up feeling guilty about something that is 100% natural. :)
wow, a lot of replies here! YES girls can (and should) talk about sex. Of course, not in a crude or demeaning way or in a way that encourages lustfull thoughts or actions. Good things definitely can and have come from open discussion about sex. And it's about time girls quit being squeamish. :)
I think it is awesome that Christians are becoming more comfortable with talking about sex. In fact, being shy about sex is a new development in human history in general: It wasn't until the Victorian age that it became a taboo subject. In the days when whole families lived in one room, sex was a simple fact of life. In fact, in Song of Songs, there are 3 characters, The Bride, the Bridegroom, and their Friends. The friends not only talk openly about sex, but the situation is used by everyone to encourage sex God's way. ("Do not arouse or awaken Love until it so Desires.")
Many of society's sexual perversions are slipping into the thinking of
young Christian people because Christians are afraid to talk about sex
at all! A bridal shower is the perfect place for women, young and old,
to delight in the joy and excitement of Intimacy in the context of Biblical
Marriage. That said, we are told to be considerate in our speech, and not cause another to stumble. Those who find sex an uncomfortable subject shouldn't attend Bridal showers-- just send a gift.
I think we can talk about it but with limitations. Not only for us girls but only for you guys out there. Since we're christians we should be aware of our minds and our thoughts regarding this topic.
Of course we can. And if it's not appropriate at a bridal shower, then where the heck would it be appropriate? It's an exciting time for both the bride and groom, a time of anticipation. We talk about what excites us. Excited, anticipated people about to get married are not going to sit there politely and say, "Oh, yeah, by the way thanks for the negligee."